On Children, By Children

Hey all, Mike here. For those of you who don't know me, a long time ago in college I was a counselor and teacher at a summer computer camp for kids ages 10-16. Most of the kids were normal, some were pretty smart and funny, most were creepy and isolated. I learned a lot firsthand about children, and the impact that computers and the internet are having on them. Someday I may write up my thoughts and observations on that issue, but not here. This is a forum for something else.

One day myself and another counselor found ourselves bored. It was towards the end of camp, and we really didn't feel like teaching and the kids sure didn't feel like learning. So I declared that day to be essay day. I told the kids to write essays about whatever they wanted. The ideas presented here, the writing and the final product, are all entirely a result of their little minds.

Here are their essays. It is a look into the next generation of children. Ginandtacos.com neither supports nor encourages the following opinions. They frighten us in fact. Other than the names being changed, the essays have not been edited in any way, shape or form.

Now gaze upon what children are secretly thinking, and what they write when they face no fear of retribution from parents or authorities. Keep in mind that most (if not all) of these children come from upperclass homes, as the camp is quite expensive. These are the children of the educated, the smart and the wealthy, and look at how they turned out. Enjoy!

Why it is important not to be queer:
By Andrew, Age 13

Being queer is not fun, at least in my postition. I would say that I am about, hmmm, 0% queer. Of course, that is my opinion. I really think that being queer isnt an amazing thing, I mean, god (OR WHOEVER) made us so we could enjoy life… Our certain ways of "enjoying" life are pretty strange, but we are just earthlings. So dont make fun! Ok, listen up, Would you like to go out on a hot summer night with some guy? Like i said before, god (OR WHOEVER) made us so we could enjoy life. Personnaly, I would not enjoy having gay sex on a friday night (or any night, or any second of my life).

We also shouldn't act like little pussy shit. If you are a little meowing fool, you could also refer "pussy shit" to feminine. Listen, being feminine is *NOT* cool. Say your voice is really high, and you talk like a flaming homosexual fag. This means god (OR WHOEVER) made your goal in life to be gay. Fight it and don't be gay! Take lessons talking really low. Ok, Say you fail everything and your voice is still flaming homosexual fag pitched. You are screwed, and i hope you enjoy your gay sex. For you others out there who are "regular" dont be wimpy, act like a man! Take care of yourself and dont let your sex drive slip. If you get a chance, take it!!!! Some people are like "I dont wanna have sex till im 25." Fuck you bitch! Ram that whore! ANYWAY… Dont watch gay tv shows like Who wants to be a millionare, and shit like that… Dont watch gay movies like "Stella Got Her Groove Back". Also, oh my god (OR WHOEVER) dont listen to gay ass homo music like bob marley. I guess there are some exceptions, dont listen to limp bizkit or korn unless you wanna "THINK" your cool…. Stick with the good stuff, dont make your music to gay, but also, dont make it to loud!
Its not hard to prevent yourself from being gay, but you better not be.

Abercrombie + Bitch
by Vaughn, Age 14

In America, a company which pushes goods that are, according to them, well made, inexpensive, and a positive influence on teenagers. This company goes by the name of Abercrombie and Fitch, or as I like to call them, Abercrombie and Bitch. The clothes this company makes are not well made, nor by any stretch inexpensive, and I fail to grasp how teenagers all dressing in the same clothing is good for promoting diversity. In the expression of self, one must be creative, and actually wear clothes that can represent their own person, instead of wearing the same thing everyone else wears, because it "looks good."

In my High School, there are many different types of people, some of which I would like to begin to address. There are: Goths, Jocks, smart people, bandies, prisses, Abercrombists, preppies, Communists, Fascists, Democrats, Republicans, Stoners, and those who use the ideas stated in the Bill of Rights regularly. Sure, there are lots of other groups, and subcategories, but all in all, there is a large amount of diversity. However, I don't see how almost all of the above groups wear the same thing, and still hope to be identified as different types of people. But I digress, for it is a mockery to have the image forced upon today's youth to be that of rich parents, mindless autonomy, and a general feeling of having to "fit in."

I am not saying that other clothing companies are free of flaws, and that we should only stop this one company, but someone is to blame. I believe that that someone should be Abercrombie. After all, if we are simply following in trends of former day, and a company that has been around since "1892," or some stupid slogan like that, then why do we not see Mr. Abercrombie, and Mr. Fitch sitting around the company boardroom, smoking cigars, and checking their stocks from their point-and-click-i'm-glad-those-comwhatever-men-made-this-internet-so-that-fools-like-us-can-have-ease-of-use world!

Jesus's Parents
by Jack Age 15

A long time ago in a place far, far away there lived a humble couple, Mary and Joseph. They were not married and for some reason they had not had sex yet. Maybe it was because Joseph was sterile and had not discovered the ancient cure for erictile disfunctionment or he had genital warts and completly disgusted Mary. Regardless, because Joseph could not attiquitley satisfy Mary, she had to search else where for sexual pleasure. Frequently Mary would sneak out late at night and sell her body on the street to bring the extra money she and her alcholic boyfriend, Joseph, desperatley needed. Mary and Joseph had been together for quite sometime but Joseph was completely unaware of Mary's latenight prostitution. However that changed when one day Joseph noticed a slight buldge in Mary's stomach. Upon questioning her she replied that she had a head ache and retired to bed. Joseph being a trusting boyfriend, believed her whole heartidly and disregarded any obvious signs to the countrary. The next day Joseph again questioned Mary about the slight buldge in her abdominal area. Going against her better judgement Mary sat down with Joseph at the large tree stump serving as their table, akwardly placed in the center of one of the rooms in the house. Both of them sat on the floor, oblivious to the large pile of cow fecies gathering flies no more then 10 feet away. Looking quite nervous Mary turned to Joseph, and using the sweet voice that brought her customers to her late at night, she began to deliver the speech she had prepared last night when she retired early. "Joseph I'm pregnant" she said in a calm even maner.

Joseph was immediatley taken aback and desperatley looked around the shithole of a home he and Mary shared. Spying his goatskin flask of his homebrewed mead he snatched and drank till the intestine lined casket was as dry as it was after it was brutally ripped from the goat it belonged to and spent 31 days drying in the sun. Not quite sure what to do Mary repeated herself. Joseph stared at her with glazed eyes and said, "But how could it happen, we haven't had sex yet.?" Mary just smiled and in a very calm voice she said, "It's God's child. I was out gathering water a few days ago and I was visited by an angel. She told me that I was to have God's child." In response to this Joseph grabbed his other goat skin flask of mead and took a very long swig. He then dropped the flash ran outside and threw up onto the goat tied to a wall outside. The goat reared up and kicked Joseph in the chest casuing him to soar, kicking and flaying, through the air like a little child's straw doll. He hit the dirt ground with an audible thud and lost conciousness. Later that evening, after Mary had dragged Joseph's sweaty hairy body inside the house and he had regained conciousness, Mary began the conversation that had ended so abroubtly earlier. Taking Joseph's hand she pressed it to her abdiman and said softly "Can you feel God's child?" Joseph didn't look convinced and Mary picked up on it. Sighing slightly she looked him straight in the eye and told him a total lie. "I'm still a virgin," she said in a carresing tone. "Look for yourself" she said as she removed her rags of an undergarment and spread her legs for Joseph, feeling comforted by the fact that the only women Joseph had ever seen a women spread her legs was when his mom birthed him, and when she did it. Mary's vagina lips were as loose as some of the hash bars in Austria and Mary knew it. However Joseph did not and after staring completly dumbfounded at Mary's vagina for about a minute, in a vein attempt to hide his ignorance, he said "I guess your right, you still are a virgin. It must be God's child!"

Why I like the game Diablo 2
by Kevin, age 14

My favorite game at this time is Diablo 2. It's a great role-playing game for the pc. The basic objective of the game is to kill diablo, but you have many quests along the way. You can choose from 5 different character classes: barbarian, necromancer, sorceress, amazon, and paladin. I don't really understand why they have girls in the game, because I don't really know any girls that play those kind of computer games. There's no real point in my mind, the way I see it, anybody that uses the girls besides the fact that the girl character might be any good, is pretty pathetic, in that they don't really have a social life and all they can do is stare at an animation created in a computer. Aside to that, that's the usual thing that happens with addicting computer games, people who play them way too much tend not to have a life at all.

I like computer games a lot, but i try to keep it in perspective where i don't play it too much and lose the rest of my life, but that's beside the point, I'm talking about the game here. Once you choose your character, you go right to the rogue incampment, the town in the first act. There you meet all the NPCs (non-playable characters), who you talk to and buy items and things from. Also, you get your quests from these NPCs in the town. They either have a personal experience that involves the evil you need to kill, or just a thing they have heard of.

When you finish the quest, you usually go back to the person that gave it to you, and they give you a reward of some kind, either an item, or a skill, or something that will help your character in some way. Another aspect in the game is after you kill enemies, you gain experience, and after lots of experience, you get a level up. When you reach a level up, you can distribute attribute points to make your strength, dexterity, vitality or energy. Also, you gain a skill point with your character at a level up. All the skills are different for each character class, and it's up to the player which one to invest the skill point into. Another part of the game, is when you kill enemies sometimes, they drop items or weapons. Some of the weapons are magical, some unique, some rare, and some are set items. All of these items increase some things in the weapon like max. damage, durability, magical resistances, or adding elemental damage to the attack, all of which are very useful. The only difference between magical and unique and those different kinds is the amount of stats and how much better the items get. That part of the game is really enjoying to me, in that you get all this cool armor and cool weapons with the stats increased and your guy looks to be really cool, since the game is in 3rd person. There aren't that many flaws in the game, the only ones I can think of, are how the game has a poor save function, sometimes it becomes a click-fest, and battle.net, the online game supporter, gets really laggy. All those flaws are not real bad, so the game is still very fun and playable.

Rent a Cops Suck
by Eric age 14

Rent a cops suck. They are always on your back. They want to get you in trouble for no reason what so ever. They are always really fat and slow. the other day i was at a local mall and there were these korean guys and they were like kicking each other while jumping off curbs. My friends and i were at the mall and we were playing with a soccer balll we found in the parking lot. we were kicking it back and fourth and i accidently kicked the ball over towards the korean guys.They looked at me funny and then said somerthing in korean and laughed. I looked at them and one of them asked me if i wanna go. then he sapt on the ground. Then i said no and he sapt and sias c mon lets go then he spat agian. i just walked away npot scared knowing i had the switch blade i had bought in south africa in my pocket i walked over to my friends and we continued playing soccer. The korean guys once agian screamed at us and we just ignpored them. then they came over to us and my friend bram said kick there ass mason and i said ok and then they got in this like matrix position thing and were like hi ya and doing all this shit. then i just walked back and they spat on the floor again. i walked back and started talking to my friends the rent a cops came right up to the curb next to us in there jeep and just sat there reading, the korean guys came and were swearing at us and were still spiting after everything they said. I couldnt help but laugh after everything they said. my friends and i knew they wern't going to attack us due to the rent a cops. we satrted swearing at us and they came right up to us and we could smell there smelly breath. then this guuy with like blonde red hair sopat and then shoved my friend bram. the rent a cops were right there. they didnt do anything. then they spat. then they shoved him agin. bram shoved the guy back. he went at bram saying like karate shit and then he like jumped on him. bram getting the crap beatn out of him. my other friend jerry weant right at the korean guy and together he and bram pinned he guy and tol him they didnt want to fight. I was just sittng there no doing anything still not believing that the rent a cops hadnt seen anything. The other korean guy came at bram and jerry and tried taking him pof of the spitting guy. Then i pulled everyone away and we just sat there swearing at eachother. it was ikind of funny cause they were atking to each other in korean. The guys had beat us up with the piggys right there. we were pissed but we didnt do anyhting. finally our ride had come and it was an old pick up truck it was all rusty and there were only 2 weats in font and ther were five people 3 of us sat up front and 2 of us sat in the back. there was and old bottle of weed killer stuff in the back ian and i took it and unscrewdd the cork then as we drove by the korean guys we threw it at them. they got denched. They tried running after the car but they couldnt catch us. it was great they were running as fast as they could but they couldnt catch us then they gave up and we drove home. we went home and then the next wekk we went back and were kicked out of the mall for juming off of some stairs. That shows that reant a cops are stupid and they are blind and they are fat.


There are too many Mexicans in America! The reason for this is that they too much o9f a pussy to stay in their own coutry. I they would just stay in their own fuckin' country, our country would be better. Mexicans are too damn poor, so somehow, our president (the fucking moron, Bill Clinton), feels sorry for the stupid bastards . Why do they get green cards! They should get fuckin' red cards that say, "Stop. Don't go to America!" We should just lie to Mexicans and say that Bill Clinton (fuckin' moron), is a dictator (which wouldn't work). Maybe then they would stop "oooooo"ing and "aaaahhh"ing about our free country.

Let me list about ten reasons that Mexicans shouldn't be in America. First of all, their poor. Second of all, their poor. Third of all, they are a waste of space (mostly). Fourth – their poor. Fifth of all, if they aren't poor, then their at the same level as us. That isn't good cus it's our country and not theirs. We should tell them what to do and what not to do. Sixth of all, if they're all gonna come to our country, then they should learn some damn english! Seventh – they should just give us their country if they want to live with us. If they don't then, they should be considered spys! You know what happens to spys! (HE! HE! HE!). Eigth – Most of them become bums and beg for our money. Ninth – they should have to pay us to live in our country. —————————————————-AAAAAANNNNDDDD!!!!!—————————————————– THE TENTH AND NUMBER OPNE REASON THAT MEXICANS SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO LIVE IN OUR COUNTRY—————


(By the way, out of all of the mexicans that i've met (which is A LOT), about two are kinda cool (in a really poor, messed up kinda way).

Mexicans in america —>
by Andrew, Age 13
//Ginandtacos.com note : This is the same Andrew as the first essay.

The number of mexicans in america is rising everyday. This is a very large problem. Like yesterday when i visited McDonalds, the mexican dipshit cashier fucked up my order. I ordered a cheeseburger with katchup and cheese only. Too bad, he took his lazy ass and just grabbed the first availible cheeseburger. Of course i didn't notice that it wasnt the correct one, so i sat down with my fries, coke and my cheeseburger. I open the cheeseburger and find onions, mustard, pickles, katchup, cheese, and all that other non-tasty shit. I was pretty fucking pissed off, so I went back to the cashier and said.. "Ummmm, I ordered a cheeseburger with katchup only." The dirty mexican said that I didn't order that. I didn't even want the food… So i got really pissed off and made him give me my money back. After he gave me my money back, i spilled my coke on purpose all over that bastard's shit, oops, i mean shirt… This is one of the reasons why mexicans dont belong in america. Also, they have no FUCKING CLUE what the hell they are talking about! I mean, they hardly know english, there accent is gay… It just really sucks the big one. Another reason why mexicans dont belong in america is because they try to jam 7 mexicans in a 2 person truck. We americans refer to that as a "mexiride". My final reason why they shouldn't be in america is because they are amazingly unattractive and smelly. **YOU DO NOT FIND A MEXICAN THAT DOES NOT SMELL LIKE DOG SHIT** OK, MODERN Americans belong in america, EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN mexican belongs in mexico. What i mean by "modern americans" is people who arent stupid or gay. For you that are getting the wrong idea, there are some americans that belong in mexico, but there are no mexicans that belong in america. —>

And there you have it. None of these essays were coaxed, encouraged, or suggested by any staff. The observant reader will notice two racist essays; since one kid did it his friend immediately jumped to copy him. One could use these essays as any number of jumpoff points for discussion, be it the way racism is instilled in youth, to teenage life, and to the thoughts, fears and hopes of a new generation. We will leave that to fancy academics with their booklearning. The staff of ginandtacos.com will be hiding in a closet instead.

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11 Responses to “On Children, By Children”

  1. Ambrosini Says:

    Hmm, Mike, I don't know what scares me more… the memory of your Jay and Silent bob dolls, or the fact you kept these essays.

    Big Pimpin' Mike, Big Pimpin'….


  2. Erik Says:

    "For you that are getting the wrong idea, there are some americans that belong in mexico, but there are no mexicans that belong in america."

    Dear lord that kid was fucked up….I mean honestly, it is really too bad he never got his cheeseburger.

  3. Ambrosini Says:

    There were defenately some messed up kids at that camp. Most of them came from rich families and were on some kind of medication that they didn't need.


  4. mike Says:

    Tim you are at UofI? I still remember you being like, not in high school yet. Christ I'm getting old. Check out our Champaign Bar reviews under alcohol if you are at UofI – i like the idea of you getting educational content, computers and booze, from two of the three ginandtacos.com founders.

    (they aren't dolls by the way, they are action figures)

    And how could I not keep these essays? They are hilirious beyond belief. *sigh* good times. If I remember right, none of these essays belong to you – and I think I remember who wrote which essays.

    Do you remember several kids doing coding for ginandtacos.com? Those were the good ol' days.

    Spending Cheese, Big Pimpin on B.L.A.D.s

  5. Ambrosini Says:

    I don't think I need to much help with the bars, I've been hitting them up since I was 18 down here. And yes, they are dolls. I don't remember which class you made them write those essays in, I aparently wasn't in it. I just had Flash, which I still use to this day, and the horrible language Java. God I hated Java, that shit wouldn't compile and work for me at all…. Thanks GinAndTacos!


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