On the heels of Lawrence O'Donnell's award for outstanding achievements in the field of having a liberal meltdown, it is only fair to issue some sort of award to perennial ginandtacos.com favorite Sean Hannity for the best performance in a year rife with political ass-kissing. His network-televised "interview" with President Bush (which happened to be the lowest-rated television program ever played on a network during prime time – take that, Brian Benben Show) is such a blatant expose in the art of cock chugging that it can only be described as an attempt at sketch comedy rather than journalism. The spectacle was so incredibly embarassing, even to most conservatives, that it is almost unfair to consider it in the same category as anything else that happened in the election.
Here are just a few highlights:
HANNITY: Do you think that when he says these things, John Kerry, your opponent, you were in these three debates with him, do you think he knows he's not telling the truth? I mean…
BUSH: I'm not sure Sean.
HANNITY: You've been pretty clear on the issue, but yet he continues to go out there and say it. When I think of old people that I know that say to you, uh oh, somebody is going to take my Social Security and that scares them.
Hannity wraps up his audition for the role of "submissive cum dumpster" in a gay right-wing porn film
HANNITY: Last question. You saw John Kerry in Ohio, all-important swing state, he put on brand new camouflage.
BUSH: He did.
HANNITY: Said he's a hunter. I understand the gun he had — I'm not sure if it was one of the ones he proposed to ban and he said he — of course — he wants to tax guns. When you see something like that is…
BUSH: My reaction was when it comes to taxes — he can run even in camo but he cannot hide. When it comes to healthcare — it was just a moment in the campaign…
HANNITY: Mr. President, good to see you.
HANNITY: Your faith has been the subject of a lot of press. You've spoken openly how important it is in your life. Explain to — in terms of a daily basis — how you go about keeping your faith strong — what do you do?
BUSH: Well, I pray a lot. And — first of all my faith is a very personal matter and I am very mindful that a person in public life like me should never try to impose my religion on anybody.
HANNITY: You get to see things that we will never get to see. That's your job. You have to look at the intelligence briefings every day. You have to assess the nature of the threat that is facing this country. Is it possible — is it a reality that we could turn on our television sets one day — FOX News Channel I hope — and find out that America is — that a nuclear weapon has gone off here — that a biological agent has been released or a chemical agent — is that a reality?
BUSH: Yes it is. That's the biggest threat we face and we know that a terrorist organization like Al Qaeda wants to acquire a weapon of mass destruction of some kind or another to kill on a larger scale than they did. You see, it's very important, Sean, for the American people to understand that — when I talk about terrorists I'm talking about people who have embraced an ideology — I would call it an ideology of hatred but it is an ideology.
HANNITY: Particularly in the second and third debates, you really sort of stamped his forehead with the Massachusetts liberal. What does that mean to you and what do people — you even said to him at one point he was the conservative senator from Massachusetts. What does that mean?
BUSH: Ted Kennedy was the conservative.
HANNITY: Ted Kennedy was the conservative senator, right.
BUSH: Well, it means to me, on the domestic front, raising taxes. That's what that means and I'm actually convinced he will.
HANNITY: …so my question is, If John Kerry were president would he
make this country more vulnerable and more susceptible to terror attacks?
BUSH: You know, that's ultimately the decision the people are going to have to decide in this campaign and it is by far one of the biggest issues in the campaign. What I say is that his point of view is dangerous because it's very limited in nature.
This interview will surely stand the test of time and serve as a perfect, archetypical example of sycophantic propaganda masquerading as journalism. Congratulations, Mr. Hannity. It just goes to show you that even a person who has made an entire life and career out of sucking cock can still find ways to hone his craft and suck a little bit more. Old dogs can learn new tricks, although obedience is the only one their master really needs to see.