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There are very few things that infuriate me (and let's face it, lots of things do) quite like positions of significant politicalimportance being manned by idiots. Not to be a snob, but….let's face it, I want the Harvard/Stanford/Michigan guys in the White House situation room when the shit hits the fan, not some guy with a mail-order Associate's Degree. The worst part about the Monica Lewinsky story, for example, was that no one was questioning what a community college drop-out was doing working in such a high-level position.

Fast forward to the present day and the US Attorneys fiasco, and I think the most irritating fact is that there are over 150 graduates of something called "Regent University School of Law" working in the Justice Department. Spend five minutes watching this video to get most of the facts in a suitably humorous format. It's good to know that a lot of the most important positions in our legal community are filled by people who went to the 136th-best law school in the nation, neck-and-neck with such academic bastions as Appalachian School of Law, Florida Costal School of Law, Thomas Cooley (!!!!), Northern Kentucky, and University of Detroit Mercy.

When I think about my individual liberties, I sleep well knowing that the law is being enforced according to the standards of a school that was known as Christian Broadcasting Network School of Law fifteen years ago.

This week was pretty sorry here on ginandtacos, and for that I apologize. When my fever gets down under 130 degrees I will find the energy to feel worse about it. I am working up an epic Virginia Tech rant, but it's neither complete nor appropriate for a No Politics Friday.

1. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie is, well….exactly what you would expect the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie to be. We're talking about a TV show whose 12-minute episodes can sometimes seem far too long. So at 87 minutes, this film will definitely drag unless the mere sight of the Plutonians is enough to entertain you. HOWEVER. However. WITH THAT SAID: The first 4 minutes of this film are possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen. I quite literally could not breathe or see by the time the opening sequence ended. I will not give anything away except that it prominently features the "Let's All Go to the Lobby" cartoon characters. And Mastodon.

2. Don't call it a comeback, but…Year Zero is actually pretty good. True, just about anything would be an improvement over With Teeth, but aside from the apparent tendency to put one appalling faux-New Order "radio" single on each album ("Survivalism") this album suggests graceful aging combined with a healthy dose of that which worked in the past.

Yeltsin: dead.

I had a "Layne Staley" moment this morning – I read the news of Yeltsin's passing and could only think "Really? I thought he died like five years ago."

Sorry for mailing it in, but all you get this Friday is a link to something that will pass the time and enrich your life.

The Black Table is a fine website filled with quality and almost always amusing writing. It's a voluminous site and one could easily drown in the chaff, so let me point out the wheat – specifically, the "How-To" index. It includes step-by-step instructions (often accompanied by photos) on performing such crucial tasks as making Pruno (prison wine), making cigarettes out of spinach, and making a lamp out of a blender (which, if the repeated disclaimers are to be heeded, is quite hazardous relative to the inherent value of the final product). The Pruno tome is a classic, but don't skip epics like "From Bacon to Soap: The Impossible Journey" and the two-part odyssey "The Road to Turducken" either.

If you choose to follow the procedures outlined in "How to Make Your Own Jesus Toast" and sell your creation on eBay, I demand a finder's fee for having directed you thusly.

Take note of how the mass killings at Virginia Tech have made you feel – upset, frightened, confused, angry, empty, whatever. It seems to have left the entire nation stunned and, at least for a brief moment before the NRA springs into action, reflective. I share all of those sentiments in response to this senseless and horrific act of violence.

Now take the way that you feel and try to imagine having three or four of these incidents every single day for three years. I suspect you can't imagine that. It wouldn't be hard if you lived in Baghdad, though. You wouldn't have to "imagine" anything. Between 50 and 200 civilians dead at the hands of suicide bombers and execution squads is an average day in Iraq.

Just keep that in mind as you realize how awful these 33 needless deaths make you feel.

Another week, another shooting spree in a public place. Faced with an opportunity to gloat about how this never would have happened if only the victims had been heavily armed themselves, somewhere Wayne LaPierre is smiling. Then again, so is Marc Lepine.

Today's No Politics Friday ™ is devoted to my strange, strange list of places I desperately want to visit. Those who know me well know that I enjoy traveling, and moreover that I enjoy traveling to places that range from "esoteric" to "borderline interesting" to "flat-out dull."

On my top 10 list is a small strip of beach outside Princess Juliana airport on the island of St. Maarten, on which one can stand while 747s land no more than 20-30 feet above eye level. All those who have experienced it describe it as ass-rapingly loud, completely terrifying, and not to be missed.

Where do I sign?