There have been many efforts to determine the worst song in the English language (on a personal note, my money is on "Barbie Girl." It literally makes blood squirt out of my ears.) two Russians decided to stop discussing it and take matters into their own hands.

Based on honest-to-god research, they compiled a list of what people consider to be the most unpleasant, loathsome, annoying characteristics of music. Then they combined them all into one song, "The Most Unwanted Song." I think you can see where this is going.

Examples of these characteristics were holiday themed songs, choruses sung by groups of children, and advertising jingles. Hence there is a lengthy chorus about Wal-Mart sung by children and backed by sleigh bells (not to mention an opera singer). The most annoying instruments are apparently the bagpipes (well, duh), accordion, and flute. They are all prominently featured.

Oh, by the way, it's 22 minutes long.

I didn't sell this very well, but this is all you need to know: at minute 1:40, a female operatic soprano starts rapping about the Old West over a spastic techno beat and a wall of accordion. Listen to it for about 10 seconds and tell yourself "This goes on for 20 more minutes."

(the kiddie Wal-Mart chorus kicks in around the 14 minute mark)