1. If you managed to miss the night of the Indiana/NC primaries on CNN, let me remind you what I mean when I say "dead-ender" and why I concocted the Lanny Davis/Goebbels analogy. This serves as pure comedy fodder for most of us, but for a special few (or maybe just one) it is late-night wanking material.

2. John Miller of the National Review Online brings us "Rockin' the Right: the 50 Greatest Conservative Rock Songs." My first thought was, how in the hell are they going to wring 50 songs out of this? I mean, we can count on one hand the number of rock musicians who are NRO types. But John got around that pretty easily – by taking songs written by liberals about things that have nothing to do with conservatism and re-interpreting the lyrics! I'm sure that when the Who wrote "Won't Get Fooled Again" or Living Colour wrote "Cult of Personality" they did so with Jonah Goldberg's talking points in mind. The highlights: noted conservative Bob Dylan at #12 and an extraordinarily curious interpretation of the Plant Doing Way Too Much Acid lyrics to "Battle of Evermore" at #25.

This is possibly the most embarassing thing that anyone has ever written. If Miller finished the piece by revealing that he still wears Underoos and that he blew his bunkmate at summer camp in 1971, it still would not be any more humiliating. A crack team of humiliation artists, training and working exclusively in the medium of humiliation since birth, could not devise a way for John Miller to have more thoroughly humiliated himself. Wagonhalt. Pure wagonhalt.

Too bad I can't find a video of Arnold's election night victory party in 2004, as he stood on stage with dozens of his fellow millionaires singing "We're Not Gonna Take It" (……anymooooooooorrrrrre). It would fit here.