UFC 86: PLUTOCRATS VS. XENOPHOBES!

Posted in Election 2008 on July 10th, 2008 by Ed

Are you ready for some knock-down, drag-out cage match action? For just $49.99 on DirecTV Pay-per-View you can tune in all summer to watch a gang of vicious Wharton-Schooled MBAs battle a disorganized rabble of mulleted retards from the Florida panhandle. It's a clash of the Republican base titans!

Julia Preston (of noted commie pinko rag The New York Times) writes that as the talk of cracking down on immigration heats up in the political arena, business is becoming increasingly willing to fight back in federal court, local governments, and state legislatures. She cites many examples of the business backlash, including:

In Oklahoma, chambers of commerce went to federal court and last month won an order suspending sections of a 2007 state law that would require employers to use a federal database to check the immigration status of new hires. In California, businesses have turned to elected officials, including the Democratic mayor of Los Angeles, to lobby federal immigration authorities against raiding long-established companies.

Our immigration double-standard has been a source of comedy for the better part of four decades. The INS is like Industry's wingman in a quest to bang illegal immigrants. They make a big show of standing on the border and sternly shouting "On ne passe pas!" but then, when Industry is about to try for second base, loudly announcing "OK, well, I'm going to go to bed now, leaving you two all alone along this big, dark border. Good night!"

The Republicans have exploited the hell out of wedge issues in recent elections. I wonder if the tables are being turned. What a fine tightrope they must walk – how does one appease business's endless need for expendable human chattel when Republicans rely so heavily on voters who really, really don't like them brown people with the mexican-talkin'?

Immigrant-bashing infuriates me. The "average" American should thank god that these impoverished people are willing to do the back-breaking, depressing labor that subsidizes the low prices you pay at the grocery store, at the mall, and in restaurants. The same mouthbreathers who rant and rave about building border fences would be the ones complaining the loudest ("Why is everything so expensive? Goddamn liberals and their taxes!") if their xenophobic impulses were taken seriously as matters of policy. As the linked NYT piece illustrates, the current compromise between moneyed interests and rural America involves passing "tough" anti-illegal immigrant laws followed up with dozens of loopholes for employers. How long will these people fall for that trick?

Oh, wait. We're talking about adults who watch monster truck rallies, wear Rebel flags, and spend an appreciable portion of their Speedway paychecks on "dip." It might be a while.