STRIKE ONE

Posted in Quick Hits on April 30th, 2009 by Ed

Well, my suspicion that Chrysler was in far worse shape than GM appears to have been correct. They're the first one to crawl into bankruptcy court.

A VERY SPECIAL FJM FOR MICHAEL STEELE

Posted in Rants on April 30th, 2009 by Ed

RNC Chairman Michael Steele sent the following email to the RNC listserve on Tuesday. Despite my explicit desire to spread out the FJM series, this is an opportunity one cannot overlook.

Dear _______,

I hope Arlen Specter's party change outrages you. It should for two reasons:

"Hi, I'm Michael Steele, token black guy and second-in-command to whichever talk radio jackass is leading you people these days. We fucked up – bad. But if your blind, ignorant rage got us into this mess it can certainly get us out! Am I right? Am I right?"

First–Specter claimed it was philosophical–and pointed his finger of blame at Republicans all over America for his defection to the Democrats. He told us all to go jump in the lake today.

Well, you were all really nice to him. This is quite a mystery. Scotland Yard is working on it. Two separate teams working in 12-hour shifts. One of them has a bloodhound.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe a word he said.

Luckily for Senator SuperJowls, it no longer matters whether or not you believe him.

Arlen Specter committed a purely political and self-serving act today. He simply believes he has a better chance of saving his political hide and his job as a Democrat. He loves the title of Senator more than he loves the party–and the principles–that elected him and nurtured him.

This is copied verbatim from the email the RNC sent out when Dick Shelby and Ben Nighthorse Campbell abandoned the Democrats and joined the GOP in 1994. The Republicans responded by refusing to admit those gentlemen to their caucus. Moral outrage knows no partisanship.

Second–and more importantly–Arlen Specter handed Barack Obama and his band of radical leftists

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nearly absolute power in the United States Senate. In leaving the Republican Party–and joining the Democrats–he absolutely undercut Republicans' efforts to slow down Obama's radical agenda through the threat of filibuster.

According to a statistic I just made up, 97% of Americans vehemently oppose the President and his radical plan to steal our guns and fluoridate our water.

Facing defeat in Pennsylvania's 2010 Republican primary due to his left-wing voting record

No, I'd say it's primarily because the Pennsylvania GOP is tiny and unrepresentative of the majority of the voters in the state. You know, the people required to win the general election. The GOP brand name is as marketable as "E.Coli Cafeteria" or "Childrape Daycare Center" up here. His voting record reflects his constituents. They live in Philly and State College and Scranton, not Beaumont, Texas.

and an end to his 30 year career in the U.S. Senate, he has peddled his services–and his vote–to the leftist Obama Democrats who aim to remake America with their leftist plan.

Oh, he didn't do that to help the leftist Obama leftists leftistly enact their leftist plan. He did it for revenge, to stick it in the GOP's ass sans lube. Unless blood counts as lube.

For the RNC, the last step in proofreading documents for release to the media is to have an intern go through and add "leftist" in as many places as possible.

As recently as April 9th, Senator Specter said he would run in the Pennsylvania primary next year as a Republican. Why the sudden change of heart?

Someday they will come for you too, Michael, and then you will understand. Also, I bet being assholes to the man for 25 years had something to do with it.

Clearly, this was an act based on political expediency by a craven politician desperate to keep his Washington power base–not the act of a statesman.

Awesome. Accuse the man of being craven and desperate to keep his Washington power base as a means of criticizing him for undermining the craven GOP's desperate effort to keep its Washington power base.

His defection to the Democrat Party

"-ic". Someone really needs to catch this typo at RNC Headquarters, pictured here:

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puts the Democrats in an almost unstoppable position to pass Obama's destructive agenda of income redistribution, health care nationalization, and a massive expansion of entitlements.

No, the fact that you can't win a Senate seat north of Gatlinburg put the Democrats in that position.

Arlen Specter has put his loyalty to his own political career above his duty to his state and nation.

This is why the GOP strongly opposed Joe Lieberman's independent candidacy. Principle First every time with these people. Also, Arlen Specter's duty is to obstruct the White House and the overwhelming Congressional majority while taking marching orders from backward closet cases in Colorado Springs.

You and I have a choice. Some will use Specter's defection as an excuse to fold the tent and give up.

Fortunately it's a pretty goddamn small tent – one of those 20-ounce ultralight backpacking jobs; I highly recommend Kelty – so it shouldn't take long.

I believe that you are not one of those people.

This is where he begins the Bill Pullman speech from the end of Independence Day. They originally used the "band of brothers" speech from Henry V but found that conservatives don't like things that come from books.

When Benedict Arnold defected to the British, George Washington didn't fold the tent and give up either.

Well, he didn't give up because Arnold's fabled treachery had little military significance and no deterrent effect on Washington's ability to fight. It's exciting to think that the GOP might be adopting a "George Washington strategy" though – complete with 1000 Hessian mercenaries, numerous river fordings, and a nasty outbreak of typhus.

He grit his teeth more determined than ever to succeed. That's what I'm asking you to do today.

Source: an interview with George Washington that I just made up.

Join me in this fight by making a secure online contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500 or $1,000 right now to build our army of supporters and defeat Democrat candidates like Arlen Specter in next year's elections.

The cash will be used to print signs reading ARLEN SPECTOR – SOCIALEST which will bring his campaign to its knees.

Stand with me. I need your support today.

I'd rather spend my money on organizations with greater odds of success than the GOP. That is why I just bought four Washington Nationals season tickets.

Sincerely,

Michael Steele
Chairman, Republican National Committee

Not for long, Yankee.

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