19th CENTURY SCIENCE, FOX STYLE

Posted in Rants on July 9th, 2009 by Ed

OK. I set the bar pretty low for our friends over at Fox News. I expect little from them. Basically as long as they don't walk in front of the camera wearing SS uniforms or run segments about how slavery should be re-instituted I chalk it up as some sort of victory. They meet our ridiculously low expectations every time they manage to broadcast for an hour without completely, blatantly, and willfully violating every social norm of the Western world.

They stumbled over that hurdle on July 8th, 2009.

You might know Brian Kilmeade, one of the Regis clone candy-asses who look like John Tesh and populate insufferable morning shows like Fox & Friends. Recently the F&F gang were chatting and having a perky morning chuckle about a study conducted by Swedish and Finnish scientists which suggests that married people are less likely to develop Alzheimer's Disease. Harmless premise, right? The sanitized Ray Romano-style jokes practically write themselves, right? "Well those scientists never met MY wife, Steve!" (*sounds of general merriment*) Let's just say Brian Kilmeade took it in a different direction in explaining why Americans are different from the Scandinavians in the study:

"We are — we keep marrying other species and other ethnics and other…"

At this point, his co-hosts, who despite being dumber than bags of sand are smart enough to realize that he's loading grandpappy's shotgun and inserting both barrels into his career's mouth, try to get him to shut the fuck up. Failing that, they try to talk over him. Failing that, Brian Kilmeade keeps talking:

"See, the problem is the Swedes have pure genes. Because they marry other Swedes …. Finns marry other Finns, so they have a pure society."

Check out the look on Gretchen Carlson's face after he says that. She looks into the camera, makes a Jim Carrey raised-eyebrow funny face, and tries to non-verbally communicate "Look, this isn't my fault. Don't fire me too" to the NewsCorp lawyers who will be watching the tape on an endless loop for the rest of the week.

I am setting myself up for disappointment here, but I have to believe that even for NewsCorp this guy has crossed a line. They may love putting out a thoroughly biased sham news product but I don't think they want to become America's #1 Source for Eugenics. We may tune in tomorrow and see Brian Kilmeade's eulogy. Or maybe we'll see Kilmeade doing a phrenological examination on a Negroid specimen (probably Juan Williams). Neither will surprise me.