CRTL-F

Posted in Rants on August 3rd, 2009 by Ed

I can't help but notice that almost exactly 6 months into the Obama presidency the first histrionic wingnut attempt to cash in on it has already arrived in bookstores. Yes, Michelle Malkin stopped picking the corn out of her own shit for long enough to churn out Culture of Corruption: Obama and His Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks, and Cronies, the title of which was meticulously chosen by a panel of 11 year-old boys.

Have you ever sat down and tried to write a book? It's agonizing, slow, and not unlike sitting down in an open field with a hammer and a stack of two-by-fours and saying "OK, time to build a house." To have churned out a book about a presidency which has yet to go on longer than the average baseball season requires either herculean research and writing skills or the employment of some creative time-saving measures. It's 376 pages. Three hundred and seventy-six fucking pages! I mean, I know there are some ginandtacos readers in the publishing industry and the idea that a book of that length could even be edited, revised, typeset, and printed in this timeframe would be extraordinary let alone considering that A) it had to be written (376 pages!) and B) enough things had to happen for an author to actually write about. One of three things must be true in the exercise of Malkin's tradecraft:

1. The book was written in 2008 right after it became apparent that the Republican field was not going to produce a successful candidate – you know, around January 1 – and the names of the winner and his "cronies" were filled in with a simple ctrl-f find-and-replace session. INSERT NAME HERE sure is a corrupt, godless little liberal, after all.

2. The book is a hastily-assembled pastiche of glorified blog posts which involved absolutely no research and thus could be written in just a couple of weeks, albeit at great effort. For context, the average ginandtacos post is about 800 words and, if it involves minimal fact-finding, takes around an hour. In Word that would be about a single-spaced page. So, you know, do that about 250 times and you'd have Malkin's book. Unless it has 3" margins, which wouldn't surprise me in the least.

3. 342 of the 376 pages are reproduced transcripts of the Oliver North trial.

If you want to feel like shit about this country, please understand that the book immediately rocketed to the top of the Amazon bestseller list where it currently resides snugly behind Glenn Beck's Common Sense. Who buys this shit? Can they possibly read it? Can they read? Skim the comments to learn that, contrary to the expectations one might have about a book about the first six months of a presidency but released six months and seven days after said presidency began, the book is fabulously well-researched:

Ms. Malkin did her homework and the facts, figures, and resource information presented in this cogent, well crafted, invaluable book make for a must read. Culture of Corruption will confirm what many have long suspected about this president and his administration, or will be a real eye opener for Obama supporters who went along for the ride for no other reason than the catchy slogans and still don't get why they ought to be alarmed. As an aside – this illuminating book dovetails handsomely with the important work Ms. Malkin does every day on her blog site keeping the citizenry informed. Thank you Ms. Malkin and keep on fighting the good fight.

Of course that review was written on July 28, twelve hours after the book was released. So the person who wrote that review, unless working for the publisher and privy to advance copies, didn't even read it. That is, on so many levels, fitting. Art imitates life; reviewer imitates author.