johnnyboy, you made a stupid, sexist genealization and got called on it, so quit whining and grow a pair.

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Not even close, but nice try.

I said something that was clearly a joke. Over-sensitive types attempt a hop on the "It's Not 1956" train to make themselves feel like paragons of politically correct virtue. Then folks like you ride their shirttails which is just… I dunno… sad.

If Liz knew me, she'd know I was kidding.. But that's the point of these comments.

Or should I quote Ed?

"… not everyone shares my sense of humor or knows me well enough to know I am not serious."

*By profit I mean sheep, and perhaps some trinkets and silks from China. It depends on how thorough you are in the undertaking.

Second, congrats Ed! I wish I could be there to hear your vows. I'd expect something along the lines of, "I promise to be true to you in sickness in in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. And so help me God, I will voraciously excoriate the mouthbreathing teabagging social detritus marring this fair land as truly as is my heart devoted to this special lady at my side."

My theory is that embracing ridiculous rituals in their intended context is the best way to emphasize how stupid they are. But not everyone shares my sense of humor or knows me well enough to know I am not serious.

Consider the wedding as a thing of parts: there is the ceremony itself, which should be significant for you two, and the (optional) reception, which should be a party worth the price. It's your day. Let it be a joyful experience and a pleasant memory. Monogrammed matchbook covers probably will not be remembered. Your stress levels will.

As a third-generation eloper (my great-grandmother had an arranged marriage and no choice) I prefer our tradition, but it's not for everyone.

Last: Peggy mentioned the cultural emphasis on weddings, and I agree. Every fairy tale ends with our heroine in a big white dress, and marriage is her victory and reward. Instead of the beginning of a new story, the wedding equals assurance of happy ending. Walt Disney should be named as a correspondent in most divorces. Oh, what scary bullshit that is!

As is society's contempt for non-virgins. (Aslan, can you hear me?) Women used to think (religious women still do) that their greatest value was in their panties, and that loss of virginity despoiled them. The ritual of the father giving away the bride, all that — it's about legal transfer of property rights, and it's terrible on that level, even if sweetly sentimental to some.

Having XX chromosomes does not guarantee that I will salivate when I see white machine lace. But start making noises about the importance of virginity the right to wear white, and I will lose my shit. Do not make one more comment against racism or oppression until you have eliminated your contempt for my half of the human race.

Unless it was a joke. (Marriage discussions turn me frantic and snarly, so I apologize for missing attempts at levity. Ha, ha?)

I had a moderately casual but not hippie wedding, outdoors of course, for less than $1000 counting our rings, my dress, the cake, the rental stuff, the whole kit and kaboodle. It might have even been less, but I'm not sure what the catering cost. It was a wonderful ceremony, a wonderful reception, and I remember it very fondly 26 years later, but I can't imagine that memory being improved by having spent more money.

Can't people Just Say No to stuff they see on television and the internet?