Comrade PhysioProf: If you [double-space after each sentence] while using anything other than a typewriter or a fixed-width typeface (such as Courier), you are a fucking imbecile.

See, this bugged me at first when I was learning TeX and the TeXbook said that I had to manually specify end-of-sentence spacing or normal spacing in certain places… or that I could just disable variable after-period spacing with \frenchspacing, but on the other hand, I'm not smarter than Donald Knuth, which means that there's probably a very good reason why sentences have a little bit of extra space between them.

I suppose, being a dorky purist about typography, that becoming a dorky purist about written English was inevitable. Damn it, I hated it ten years ago, when it was called "AIMspeak". But it's a question of attitude rather than technology; I speak in complete sentences over the instant messenger, and some folks manage to do the same for Twitter. If teachers didn't accept work written in twitspeak, perhaps it wouldn't be considered an acceptable dialect of written English.

PS– Liz, I jest.

As to the desire to be innovative with your child's name, parents shoudl consider a few factors:
1 Attempts at innovation often backfire. Then the victim of their linguistic ricochet, the poor child, will have to endure a lifetime of jeers, contempt, and pity. Parents should practice innovation on themselves; when it goes bad, their children will be looked at as the offspring of dumbasses.
2 In general, only those should try to innovate who have it on good authority that they're good at coming up with cool new ideas. I suspect someone whose best attempt is Linsie, Shianne, or Kinzie is not good at innovatin'. S/he's probably a mediocre redneck who should sit the fuck down and cease tryin' to be all innovative and shit. God has not seen fit to bestow the gift of creativeness upon their hillbilly asses. To suppose otherwise is to commit the sin of pride.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGz6NdLBF2Y

She can only thrive on attention. Ignore her. She will eventually go away.

Maybe before you freak out about changing spellings for people's names you should consider that while some people are interested in passing down the same names from generation to generation, other groups of people are more interested in creating new and unique names. I'm not saying that there isn't something wrong with naming someone Lemonjello, Oranjello, or Chlamydia, but it's hardly fair to then write them off as idiots based on a decision their parents made.