Comments on: FOR WANT OF A NAIL

By: Ruthie

Ruthie — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 00:07:17 +0000

The evil Feinstein gubmint took away my neighbor's Uzi and 100 round gun clips, and I did nothing because I didn't own a gun. The gubmint insurance took away my other neighbor's scooter, and I did nothing because I didn't need a scooter. Then the gubmint took away my BMW to melt it down to make gay wedding rings–and I tried to catch up with the tow truck; but you can't run worth jack in Uggs.

By the way, Ed: If grandpa hasn't figured out how to bank the coals in a fire so it stays lit all night after 20 years of living on the lam, he deserves to have his 'nads chewed by coyotes!

By: JP

JP — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 11:50:49 +0000

'Then Great-grandpa coughed. Loudly. "I may be 104 years old, but I fought in real wars boy", turning to granddad, his kid. "Sonny boy, we defeated waves of crazed Chinese commies, Millions of 'em, using what.. old M-1's with 8 shots and new M-14's (when we got 'em) with the standard 20 round box! Hell there was not a standard infantry weapon in the Great War (WW11) or any 20th century War that we had that had a mag of larger than 20 rounds!" "No Vlad, your great granddad and the rest of his crank pals, the legendary braggarts the gun punks, neer-do-wells and Rpug crazies Lost the Great Patriotic War the way all wars are eventually lost! With determined poor leadership, poor planning, worse strategy, hope and dreams as operational plans and then ultimately the rejection of about a half decade of peace talks and conferences. We squandered our freedoms kid! We did it for sport too! Geez we were stupid! Why for almost the 1st 150 years the former US Army used nothing but Single Shot rifles and muskets to get the job done! What he just told you in Bunko kid, big time crazy, just more lies…" Great granddad tried to take another breath, but just then 'Sonny boy' had suddenly reached up and cut his throat cleanly, ear to ear with a broken tequila bottle. As he gurgled and fell into the dirt, Granddad muttered, 'Serves him right, the old reprobate commie! He voted for Eisenhower! We never forgave him or forgot that! It was the road to perdition for sure! Sic Semper and all that." Vlad shrunk back from the dying light and whimpered more loudly, liked a whipped cur.

Cheers, 'VJ'

By: Jak the Yak

Jak the Yak — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 16:24:48 +0000

Totally. Frigging. Hilarious.

By: LarryE

LarryE — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 23:41:47 +0000

Oh, and yes, I know my re-write doesn't really fit with the rest of the piece but hey, I never said it was a good re-write.

By: LarryE

LarryE — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 23:38:27 +0000

Nicely done.

However, unable to resist the impulse to a little re-write, a variation on the ending:

"Then they sat in silence looking at the extinguished fire, a subtle metaphor for the extinguished nation.

"The silence was broken by a distant sound, like tables and chairs scraping across a floor. It was getting louder.

"'Oh God,' Grandpa said, his voice little more than an anguished whisper. 'It's the Death Panels. They're coming.'"

By: Mr. Prosser

Mr. Prosser — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 17:08:50 +0000

I tack back the Marvel illustration suggestion, try the DC Sgt. Rock style, best ruined countryside and ragged clothes and drained, totally exhausted facial expressions.

By: Bern

Bern — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 15:29:10 +0000

Wait…drop bears? They use parachutes? Man…

By: xynzee

xynzee — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 15:10:34 +0000

@GlenH.: Blue Heelers? Must be a Victorian thing. For the rest of us it was the specially trained drop bears.

By: Xynzee

Xynzee — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 07:52:10 +0000

Oh goody! And now we get that special kinda stupid.