As a seven year old living near Chicago in 1985, it's safe to say that I saw the crude video for the Chicago Bears "Super Bowl Shuffle" song about a thousand times and heard the song even more. Though I hated the Bears even at that tender young age, there was something so ridiculous, so lovable, and so ballsy about that '85 Bears championship team that made it very difficult to resist the urge to like them (check out Grantland's excellent where-are-they-now style retrospective on the song and the team, "An Oral History of the Super Bowl Shuffle"). Is there anyone from the Chicago area currently between the ages of 35 and 50 who does not know every word to this song? And could this be any more Eighties?

To this day, when a certain colleague answers his office phone with "This is Steve," I immediately follow up with "and it's no wonder. I run like lightning, pass like thunder." I'm not alone.

The next year, the Los Angeles (now St. Louis) Rams proved that imitation is the sincerest form of…really bad ideas. Very few people remember this – you'll see why in a moment – but the Rams created their own music video for what they thought would be their run at Super Bowl glory during the 1986 season. It was called, I shit you not, "Ram It!" If that isn't sufficiently disturbing, the video features the players making a coordinated, aggressive fisting motion each time they repeat the chorus line of, "Weeeee're gonna RAM IT!"

How did that get made? I imagine that it took place in some kind of 1980s L.A. cocaine-fueled haze in which no one was really in charge and somehow atrocities ended up happening – kind of the Football Music Video equivalent of the Do Lung Bridge scene in Apocalypse Now.

Concerned bystander: "Who's in charge here?"
Eric Dickerson: "Ain't you?"

No, Eric. Things like this only happen when the chain of command has broken down completely.