NPF: WEB OF CONSPIRACY

Posted in No Politics Friday on June 7th, 2013 by Ed

You have at least one relative who forwards you every ridiculous piece of chain email nonsense that crosses his or her (AOL/Hotmail) account, right? Everybody needs to have at least one person like that in their life. You're really missing out if you're not seeing this stuff.

Whenever I see one of these things I have the same thoughts: Who wrote this? Who is actually bored enough to sit down and make up a bunch of bullshit to forward to thousands of strangers? Who wakes up and thinks, "Today I'm going to start a rumor that No More Tears baby shampoo is full of novocaine"? That just seems like such a strange thing to do, even for the millions of weirdos that litter the internet.

I don't care if this turns political even on No Politics Friday, but share with us your tales of the most ridiculous, far-fetched, and insane conspiracy theories that you've seen (or heard, because why limit the fun to email) over the years. In the past month alone I've heard that Obama regularly contacts aliens, the government has purchased a billion bullets to execute us all when we are placed in FEMA camps, and genetically modified foods are made in part from fetuses and cadavers.

People believe this shit. They really do. Even the most patently ludicrous theories have a handful of supporters. Too often those supporters include the assheads from your high school graduating class who find you on Facebook, or the uncle with whom you were not allowed unsupervised interaction as a child.