(Publisher's Note: Ed is currently indisposed, so his Latvian pal Ivars will be handling today's post.)

Hello Gin with taco! Is Ivars! I have made many recover from trip to Burning Man where children of politburo trip balls in desert. Ed give to me many weblink for topic of posting, and I pick one that cause many confuse. I ask American friend, what is "24 Signs She's a Slut" and why is angry many reader? She explain but still I have confuse. Is supposed to be list of ways for tell if American woman is…prepare for sexytime. Is maybe different for America, but in Latvia cannot tell. Unless lady give family turnip on first date – then is guarantee of many sexytimes!

When explain to me my friend this 24 list, I must confess is very confuse. Many of 24 signs are just description of to be female. Have tan? Dye for hair? Have boobs? Is almost every Latvian girl! Except for tan. Is not good skin sometimes, if harvest of turnip is bad. But who is writer of this list? He sound like man with many problem and very small loaf of bread, if you get Ivars! He sound like he make many rape. Is all American man like this? Women of Latvia should not go to America for being with rape man. As Russian say, "nyet!" But enough about Russian, Russia is hole of ass.

I have many question. Please to help understand.

What is "slut face"? Writing man seem to think all lady have slut face. Maybe is only face of slut because man think all lady is slut.

Why is lady easy for sexytime when she make swearing? My mother make many swear, and she hate sexytime, says my father! Ha! But for serious, this is very silly.

Why does hair on body make for slut? Latvian woman have hair to stay warm for winter. Is also why Latvian woman eat like Latvian man, to make winter without die of starve.

What is "sorority"? Is like army? Ivars was in army. Is not like to talk about it.

What is "known party college"? In Latvia, all college is for party! Many party, I drink beer until take off pants. Sometimes friend will say, "Oh Ivars, you wear your pants!" American college is for party too, yes?

What is "tequila"? Have not taste tequila but who does not like shots? Is for party! And also for celebrate! And also for warm, when piece of shit Lada stop in winter.

Why is "feminist" more sexytime? Is feminist not mortal enemy of bag of douche like man who write this? If writer man say all of this is sign of slut, he sound not like he know anything about American lady.

In Latvia, is one way to tell if girl is for sexytime: She will say! Some time she say, "I want no sexytime" and other time she take off shirt and ask Ivars to put hands on her sweater turnips. Is not all the same, yes? Some lady in Latvia is for sexytime very eager, others like sexytime not at all. To find out is why for go on date and have many talk.

Is very silly, this link of web. Why is entire website by man who is very obvious know nothing of woman? Maybe should make website for how to stroke little Brezhnev with hand – is probably expert! Ha!

America is wonderful, but is sometime very hard for understand.