TURNS OUT YOU *CAN* RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS

Posted in Quick Hits on July 31st, 2017 by Ed

I will be on vacation for two weeks, and I intend to continue updating during that time. It will be more sporadic than usual though. If you need quick and insubstantial fixes, you can of course follow me on – I hate myself for becoming the guy with every social media account – Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. I won't tell you where I'm going but there ARE giant tortoises involved.

Following politics day in and day out for the last 18 months has been exhausting and if at all possible I'm going to try to pretend the news doesn't exist during this trip. But I think we both know I can't stay away. In the meantime, post your best guess on which person who currently works at the pleasure of the President will be fired or "resign" by the time I return.

Oh, and if you're waiting on a t-shirt I apologize but you won't get it until I return. If that's a problem, go ahead and request a refund of your payment via PayPal.

THROWING IN THE TOWEL

Posted in Rants on July 31st, 2017 by Ed

"Freakish, embarrassing, and all too short." That's Matt Taibbi's summation of the tenure of Anthony Scaramucci in the White House. Last week ("American Heroes Week"!) may have felt like a millennium, but if you can believe it Mooch has only been on the job for something like eight days.

Taibbi's observation is well-phrased but by no means a bold prediction. My reaction to seeing this Mario Cantone with Bone-itis cosplayer for the first time was, "Can we just skip ahead to the part where he's fired?" Whatever thrill there was in watching these people crash and burn is gone; this isn't fun anymore.

If Scaramucci matters, it is as an indication of Trump totally throwing in the towel. Not that he intends to quit or anything, but he appears to be done trying even in the quarter-assed way he may have been attempting to create the illusion of being Serious. This is the kind of person you hire when you not only intend to stop trying, but when you don't particularly care to hide the fact that you are done trying.

The goal at this point appears to be to make this coke-fueled vaudeville act so utterly idiotic that Americans check out altogether, at which point Trump can resume his plans to crash this plane into the side of a mountain so he and his friends can collect on the insurance policy. The journalists who are professionally obligated to cover this all day, every day are going to need treatment for PTSD if this goes on for four years. Watching news and following politics has never been a great joy for most people. It's more of a thing one does because it's good for you, like jogging or eating cauliflower.

Now it is getting to a point at which it is literally too inane to watch. That is not an accident. The point of Anthony Scaramucci is to make your urge to change the channel or close the browser overpowering the moment you see his idiot face or hear one syllable of his fifth-rate Joe Pesci impression. That is why his face is so punchable; the White House wants you to want to punch him. To hate him. To be so disgusted that you feel like you need to be pumped full of thorazine to watch 10 minutes of CNN. And above all they want you to look at Anthony Scaramucci and realize that just as it has gotten worse every day for six months now, it is only going to get worse as time goes on.