CAN YOU SAY SUBLIMATED HOMOSEXUAL DESIRES?

Is anyone else of the opinion that there's just a little bit too much male nudity in those Iraqi prisoner abuse photos? Honest to god, the next one I see that doesn't have a blurred-out penis in it will be the first. Repress much, boys?

Pvt Tommy: "Hey, let's beat some sand nigger ass!"
Lt. Dale: "Hooahh! These colors don't run! Let's do it!"
Pvt. Tommy: "Yeah! And let's......uh.....let's strip'em naked!"
Lt. Dale: "Yeah! Naked! For....um......extra security."
Pvt. Tommy: "Maybe to be extra-safe we should slather cocoa butter on all their hirsute, swarthy scrotums."

The idea that all of these pictures somehow involve inserting something into an anus or dog-piling naked men on top of one another isn't the product of stupidity (photographing it is, though). It speaks more to the overt top/bottom conquering-male homoeroticism that we, as a nation, choose to ignore when we're tying ribbons on trees and Supporting Our Troops.

The military's gay bashing always smacked a little too strongly of "The lady doth protest too much". As though collectively assailing homosexuality vehemently enough would cover up the games of "Rear Admiral" taking place in the group showers every night.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell indeed.

ME, A TRUCK FULL OF EXPLOSIVES, AND VH1's STUDIOS.

What is "soon", Alex?

Don't get me wrong, it's been a hoot watching VH-1 turn from the "adult contemporary MTV" to Viacom's opening salvo in the media trust's battle to continually downwardly-revise the lowest common denominator. But under the new ownership, it has become the Wilco to MTV's Weezer......you have to switch from one to the other after you turn 21, but no matter how much your goatee-stroking friends pretend it has artistic merit, it's every bit as annoying and vacuous.

Let me summarize every fucking show on VH-1 for the past couple of years.

"Hey, remember _______? Dude, I TOTALLY remember that. That was AWESOME. God, the 80s were so wacky. I love talking about old things, it's way easier than thinking of new things."

As Viacom's corporate tentacles have expanded to take in more media outlets, the aforementioned VH-1 shows have simply become a nonsensical pastiche of promotional appearances for other Viacom products. Not only is the concept of sitting around talking about The Facts of Life and Kajagoogoo asinine beyond belief, but further abstracting the process from reality by having Hal Sparks, the staff of Blender Magazine, ESPN's Stuart Scott, Matt Pinifield, and a parade of other Disney/ABC/ESPN/Paramount/Infinity Broadcasting/MTV stars comment on said phenomena simply takes the spectacle from idiotic to surreal.

So the next time you're sitting around staring at "I Love 1984" or "The Top 100 _________ of All Time" (or whatever other stock-footage, low-production-cost thinly-disguised commercial for the Paramount back catalog you happen to be staring at) please remember that evolution didn't stop when we grew fucking thumbs. Accordingly, it may be beneficial to partake of something new that might expand your mind or develop some new ideas rather than sitting around and watching clips of things you hated when they came out but have turned into cultural icons through the vomit-stained lens of nostalgia.

Some more information on Drinking in Champaign

Today the Champaign bar reviews recieved a much needed overhaul.

There are four new reviews, a somewhat different introduction, and a comments on bar patronage.

UofI Rush Week Theme 2004: Abu Ghraib Style Prison Torture

As of three weeks ago, ginandtacos.com has a weekly column in Champaign-Urbana's independent newspaper "The Hub." All three of us here have attended the University of Illinois at some point (Ed for a year, I as an undergrad, and Erik as an undergrad and currently as a grad student), so it's a natural fit. We'll soon put up the columns that we have written so far, but until then hunt down the newspaper.

As part of last week's column about the abuse of POWs in Iraq, titled "We too are unfamiliar with the Geneva Convention", we examined arguments proposed on the right, notably by Hannity and Limbaugh, that what happened at Abu Ghraib is no worse than what goes on at fraternities.

Since none of us have ever been in one, we were caught a little off guard. Glow-sticks? Attack dogs? That didn't sound like rush week, but what did we know? As journalists we took advantage of UofI's strong greek presence and wrote a letter to the Interfraternity Council asking them about the link:

An open letter to the Interfraternity Council.

As they have yet to respond, we can only assume the worst.

IF THE DEAL IS "BLOOD FOR OIL", WE'RE GETTING THE FUCKING SHAFT

One of the fringe benefits of being a graduate student is the ability to justify pursuing one's own interests under the guise of scholarly research. So I've collected and inflation-adjusted (2004 = 1) the US national average gas prices (from the Bureau of Labor Statistics) for every month dating back to January of 1980. Let's take a gander.

Now, if you are un-American and possibly a terrorist, you might notice that the current large spike and the most recent spike before that (late 1990) coincide with our invasions of Iraq.

If, in addition to being a terrorist, you are also a pinko child molestor, you would also note that gas prices skyrocketed under George W well before 9-11-01, which is basically the administration's catch-all excuse for everything pejorative that's happened on their watch.

So not only are we currently paying twice as much for gas as we were a decade ago, but when the late summer / Labor Day prices hit $3.00 per gallon in California (where regular gas is already over $2.30) and the east coast, we can look forward to hearing the White House explain how this is the fault of Bill Clinton and the liberal media. And with the price of Light Crude oil hitting an all-time high of $41 late last week, I would love to hear a cogent argument as to why this price escalation is not going to continue throughout the upcoming peak consumption period.

There is obviously only one solution: abstinence and more tax cuts.