Liking Harry Potter does not make you a child or an idiot.

Today the third installment of the Harry Potter film franchise is released nation wide. Nine tenths of the critics are raving about it- with dissenting views coming from places like “The Arizona Daily Star.” I think that it is now timely to point out to those few remaining people who think that there is something wrong with Harry Potter that they ought to give it a rest. No, this story is not the most intellectual thing you will ever read or see, you are not going to impress that girl at the coffee shop by reading Harry Potter spine up (but lets face it, you weren’t going to impress her with Wittgenstein either). Since when does entertainment always have to be enlightening? Harry potter is to literature what Outkast is to music, or Friends is to television. It is not the most profound thing available, but it is a well-crafted story with interesting characters. It is amusing, lighthearted, with a decent amount of suspense. What J. K. Rowling is creating is essentially the perfect piece of pop art. Like that silly song that makes you tap your foot subconsciously, these stories suck you in before you realize what has happened. That said, if you have ever watched reality TV, or watch any situational comedies, get rid of your presence and go see this movie.

BUT ED, THE GOVERNMENT WOULDN'T LIE.

OK, let me re-hash the Ahmed Chalabi-Iranian Spy scandal.....and stop me when I deviate from the official story.

CNN and every major network have reported that, two weeks ago, the U.S. cut off funding to Chalabi - a prominent member of the Iraqi National Congress. This organization was on the federal payroll for many years and was held in high regard by the foreign policy powers that be. It was widely speculated - even assumed - that Chalabi could be the next leader of Iraq. Then all of the sudden, the U.S. announces that Chalabi is on the shit list for having passed intelligence secrets to Iran.

Sounds pretty simple so far. But, if one goes beyond the 200-word news bulletins and exercises a few critical thinking skills.........

How did the CIA find out that Chalabi had handed over secrets? Well, they claim that he told the Iranians that the U.S. had cracked one of its intelligence codes and was freely intercepting all information sent in this code. They know that Chalabi told them this information because they intercepted an Iranian response which revealed what he had told them.

I know that's convoluted. Basically, this is what they allege:

Chalabi: "Iran, the U.S. has cracked your code"
Iran (responding IN THE CODE THEY HAD JUST BEEN TOLD WAS BROKEN): "Oh my.....the U.S. has cracked our intelligence code? I can't believe you just told us that, Ahmed Chalabi."

Let me repeat that once more for emphasis: the Iranians used a code THEY HAD JUST LEARNED WAS COMPROMISED to respond to Chalabi and continue their communication.

Right. So we are to conclude that either the intelligence community in Iran is profoundly retarded or......the CIA and Pentagon are lying cocksuckers. To a logical person, this makes about as much sense as trying to drown a giraffe in a teacup.

Have a nice day.

What can we get for ten dollars?

There is now a Stanley Kubrick Retrospective in Germany, which will hopefully make it's way to the States in the near future. Kubrick saved enough costumes, props, and notes from all of his movies to fill up 10 rooms of his estate; this stockpile of memorabilia was all raided to fill up the exhibit.

The article linked above brings up many of the questions that are left behind with Kubrick's death. Did he actually finish Eyes Wide Shut before his death? What would A.I. have looked like if he had actually helmed it? What was going on in 2001: A Space Odyssey?

(the best answer I've seen for that last question phrases it in light of 60s pop-images of future technologies: computers would change mankind as completely as the tool changed our ancestors into a new type of being, which is of course bogus - see notably ginandtacos.com hero Louis Menand's sharp take on it here)

These are all fair and good questions, but deep in my heart the only question that needs answering is "What was the look on the guy's face when he first heard 2 Live Crew's 'Me So Horny'?"

For those of you who don't know, the chorus ("me so horny (x3) me love you long time") and the intro are both sampled from Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket. Someone had to sit down with him and play him the song. Can you even picture it?

---

Manager: "Stanley, these rappers from California sampled part of Full Metal Jacket in one of their songs."
Kubrick: "Interesting. I wonder if they are singing about the large number of Africa-Americans who were forced to fight in Vietnam for a country that wouldn't even recognize them. Perhaps they have an entirely different take on the themes of dehumanization presented in the film."
::cue song::
Luke Skyywalker: "Sitting at home with my dick hard / so I got the black book for a freak to call"
::and Kubrick wept::

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archive the past

Kavalier. here are all the entries by Ed.

CHENEY TO AMERICA: "HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY. ALSO, FUCK YOU."

So apparently the conservative public advocacy group Judicial Watch has uncovered and is preparing to make public an e-mail that confirms what anyone with a functioning frontal lobe already knew - Cheney's influence was a determinative factor in Halliburton being awarded war contracts which were not open to competitive bidding.

My ability (or need) to comment on this issue at this point is completely absent, but suffice it to say that there is no God but one that will strike the Vice President down with a cornucopia of the most lethal, slow-acting, and untreatable hemmoragic fevers, after which he will spend the rest of eternity roasting on a spit in the part of hell otherwise reserved for the serial killers with whom the other serial killers refuse to be associated.