June 02, 2006
TSEKKITUKKA GALORE!
It has come to my attention that the words for "mullet" (the hairstyle, not the fish) in the Scandinavian languages are as follows:
As you might be able to guess from the first two, all Scandinavian languages refer to this glorious hairstyle as "hockey hair" in deference to that sport's fondness for it. But the Finns go a little bit farther. You see, "Tsekkitukka" literally means "Czech hockey hair." Apparently the Czechs are more bemulleted than the average hockey player (which is pretty impressive considering that group includes Alberta).
I wasn't sure that this was a fair ethnic stereotype, so I asked Czech-born hockey superstar Jaromir Jagr.
Yep. Tsekkitukka sounds just about right.
June 01, 2006
YOU KNOW, IT'S ALMOST IMPRESSIVE AT THIS POINT
It really is. I don't think George Bush and his ilk are going to be satisfied until every last person (aside from deep southern evangelicals, of course) loathes them.
It didn't take much to get 50% of the population to reach that conclusion. The other 50% has been a lot slower to come around, but boy has it started to come around. Case in point: Rupert Murdoch's New York Post. This is the same paper that ran the infamous "Axis of Weasel" cover and was basically a warmongering shill for the Bush administration throughout the Iraq run-up.
Yes, this is from a real newspaper. I swear.
That was then. This is now.
Yes, it appears that those New Yorkers (and Washingtonians, seeing as how DC was screwed just as badly) aren't too thrilled that the DHS has decided to slash the amount of money the city will receive for anti-terrorism measures. Instead, the money is being diverted to rural areas (just in time for the election, of course) so that security can be beefed up around prime terrorist targets like Cobb County, Georgia and Laramie, Wyoming.
Losing Rupert Murdoch, from Bush's perspective, is so unbelievable that it must be considered impressive. It sums up my attitude about the current administration in its entirety: I simply have nothing left to say. I can only look at it in disbelief, occasionally pausing to giggle. This is a presidency that has quite literally re-written the book on how not to govern. It is quite simply the worst presidency in our lifetimes, and should we all live to be 120 I sincerely hope that statement never needs to be revised. I always knew Bush would end up being remembered as our worst president, but I didn't think it would happen during his term. According to this poll, he's somehow edged out Nixon and outnumbered the Clinton-hating right-wingers nearly 2-to-1.
Impressive. Absolutely impressive.
May 30, 2006
"DOCTOR, IT BURNS WHEN I PEE..."
I'm sure that the physicians on staff at the average convalescent/retirement home hear this on a daily basis, but said doctors can no longer safely assume diabetes to be the underlying cause.
Yes, in yet another example of the depressing and complete loss of innocence that defines modern American life, it appears that granny and gramps have the clap. Or the herp. Or something of the kind.
I need a drink and a shower.
