I'm still trying to figure out why this album was made. Maybe that's one of the secrets we find out when we die. But even St. Peter is likely to be scratching his head over this one.

I can't figure out if the void Weezer filled no longer exists or if they are just incapable of filling it anymore. In any case, the new happy mega-rock star Rivers Cuomo just isn't very interesting. Sadly enough, some people are only compelling when they're suffering or self destructive. Would John Belushi have been funny without the addictions? Would Chris Farley without the morbid obesity have been a good physical comedian? Would the songs of a sober Kurt Cobain have been compelling? In the same vein, an old, rich, and content Rivers Cuomo just doesn't have anything to say.

The new Weezer, showcased on The Green Album and Maladroit, consists of summery, Sha-Na-Na style pop songs full of upbeat lyrics that sound more like an older brother's pep talk than any sort of meaningful emotive release. The lyrical range on Make Believe is sophomoric at best, tedious in practice, and banal at worst. Don't do drugs, kids. Celebrities are rather fake, kids. Don't worry about that unattainable girl, kids, you're still special. I'm sorry, but I prefer my Rivers Cuomo suicidal, despondent, and smoldering. I really don't want sage advice (set to explosively gay Top 40 guitar) from the man who wrote "Across the Sea."

Is it wrong to expect musicians to be one-dimensional? Yes. Of course Rivers and the band are not interested in being one-trick ponies reliving Pinkerton into their 40s. But while they have the right to change, we have the right to find them patently uninteresting now. Musically, Make Believe (like Maladroit) is passable, although even the sound is starting to suffer from allusions of desperation (out come the keyboards on "This is Such a Pity") and the unmistakable interference of Rick "There is No Such Thing as Too Many Pro-Tools Effects" Rubin. A couple of tracks, namely "Beverly Hills" and "The Other Way" are perfectly inoffensive and disposable pieces of enjoyable rock music. But there's certainly nothing memorable here - it's FM Radio Top 5 at 5 rock that seems predestined to be remembered in the future only as a short clip of background music on VH-1's "I Love 2005."

Ed