Mea culpa

To prove how wrong I have been about Genesis' greatness, I humbly submit the video for "Illegal Alien":

Yes, it's exactly what you think it is: Phil Collins in a Dirty Sanchez mustache singing in faux-broken English about trying to sneak across the US-Mexican border. Neither your eyes nor your ears deceive you.

Listen to those ultra-realistic coffee-can drum samples!

BROTHERS, SISTERS, COME TOGETHER!

Posting about Genesis had two unexpected side-effects: arousing controversy and bringing Erik Martin out of a year-long posting hibernation. I am therefore not sorry for having posted about Genesis nor for pointing out how much they blow.

But I have an aversion to dissention. I wish to bring different peoples together in harmony. That is why I am now posting a video of Heino, the German version of....well, I'm not sure there is anything comparable in any other culture.

It is like a David Hasselhoff song, only much worse. Unless it is an elaborate joke that I just don't get.

Really?

I honestly don't know anymore what I enjoy ironically or not. I can say that I have spent untold number of dollars playing this song on internet Jukeboxes while enebriated. It tends to put a smile on my face.

Also, at one point in time I purchased a copy of "Foxtrot" because I was informed that Genesis with Peter Gabriel was "good." That was not true.

INVISIBLE (BAD) TOUCH

A student showed up to my final exam wearing a Genesis t-shirt, and he was wearing it non-ironically. The man really likes Genesis.

This floored me for several reasons. First, Genesis may be the worst band in the history of our species. It sounds like synth-pop sung by eunuchs. Second, I cannot recall having met someone who honestly liked Genesis with no irony or winking in at least 15 years. I am fairly certain that when I was in grade school, someone probably expressed a fondness for them. But that was long ago. Lastly, and most importantly, of the people remaining on Earth who like Genesis I was all but certain than none were under 40 as of 2006. The student in question appeared to be about 20.

This is all deeply troubling.

I didn't dare ask how much he liked Rush, mostly because I feared the answer that I knew would follow. How does a young person in this day and age, with a world of music at the end of his DSL connection, go so horribly astray? Perhaps I should call a social worker and report this young man as a victim of childhood musical abuse. Whichever parent exposed him to this stuff should be reprimanded harshly.

PINOCHET: DEAD. GOD: "SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG."

Dear humanity,

I am happy to report that I smote General Pinochet's blackened soul today at the age of 91. I sincerely apologize for not getting around to this 45 years ago. Similar lapses in judgment will not happen in the future.

Regards,
Your Lord

Seriously, if you want to begin to grasp why US foreign policy is so fucked up and why everyone seems to hate us, sit back for a minute and realize that we not only engineered the coup to put this cocksucker in office but we were subsequently his biggest ally. We spent the entire Cold War failing to see the distinction between Democracy and Anti-Communism, preaching the former but always settling for the latter.