DON'T WORRY, THE MARKET IS JUST CORRECTING YOUR STANDARD OF LIVING

On the heels of the "308,000 new jobs created in March", corporate America has been displaying its rapier sense of irony. In the past five business days…


Gateway – closing all retail stores, cutting 2,500 jobs
Sun Microsystems – 3,300 layoffs announced on Thursday
Bank of America – 12,500 management-level positions eliminated today
Thomson – 600 research & development jobs eliminated
SBC Ameritech – 4000 layoffs announced in December begin taking effect
IBM – 4700 layoffs announced in early January begin taking effect
Todd Pacific – nation's largest ocean shipping company fires 500
Washington Mutual Insurance – 200 more layoffs bring their total since August to 7,400
Raytheon – makers of the Patriot missile can 72 administrative workers effective April 1
MCI Telecom – Announce 4000 layoffs, blaming "do-not-call" lists for reducing call center staff
Lockheed Martin – 45 administrative layoffs, effective immediately
Axicom Database Solutions – 230 jobs terminated, tipping the balance for the company's overseas workforce (6,430) to outnumber the domestic (6,388)
Wayne County – Detroit, Michigan announces off 2300 city employees, including 900 public school teachers, will be laid off effective July 1.
Mellon Financial Services – 300 jobs moved from Everett, WA to India. Everett city leaders investigating the possibility of suing the company.
Kraft Foods – announce that 400 Niles, IL factory jobs will be eliminated on January 1.
Johnson Controls – manufacturing giant announced that 1,065 factory jobs in Kentucky and Wisconsin will be moved to Mexico in July
Steelcase Inc – world's #1 office furniture manufacturer eliminates 9,300 jobs worldwide
EMI Records – 1500 jobs eliminated, including Jacksonville, IL manufacturing facility

That's IN THE LAST FIVE FUCKING DAYS, PEOPLE.

But you would be a fool, and possibly a terrorist, to overlook the tremendous gains the economy made in the crucial "grocery baggers returning to work after a strike" and "migrant fruit pickers" industries, which collectively "created" 203,000 jobs during March.

See, all that matters is the aggregate number of jobs, you silly pinko. If a million people lose a million well-paid jobs but the economy responds by creating a million menial, service-industry, minimum wage, no-benefits jobs, then we didn't really lose any jobs at all.

Oh, and here's one of the links (along with cnbc.com) that provided this information.

Have a nice day.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

One of the legacies of Pulp Fiction across the way smaller, more independent film is done in America is an emphasis on cleverness. Like a lot of things, Tarantino inherited this from the French New Wave and immediately made it his own, and was talented (or lucky, depending on your opinion) enough to do a good job of it. An emphasis on subtle (and not-so-subtle) allusions to all of pop culture, a bag full of narrative tricks and devices, the kind of cinematography and editing that seemed designed to simply show off, characters who are either too-cool-for-school or sad losers to whom you can feel superior, and a knowing audience (and the baseline cynicism they bring) were suddenly very in vogue – something that was made concrete by the surprise major success of “The Usual Suspects.”

Enter the cleverest of a generation of clever screenwriters, Charlie Kaufman. His movies are the kind of complex brain puzzles that get so lost in its own style that it views the idea of having to have an ending with contempt (Adaptation). He was so good at this, his movies seemed like the possible culmination of the *wink wink* snarky cinema for which the 90s will probably be remembered. So it’s so satisfying to see him be behind a movie that has one of the strongest emotional cores of any movie released this decade: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

In this movie, Jim Carrey stars as a man named Joel Barish, yet another prototypical Kauffman loser stand-in, dating the vibrant but troubled Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet). After a particularly nasty breakup, Clementine goes through a process where all her memories of their relationship are erased from her head. Joel, after learning about this, decides to go through the same procedure, but while his memories are being erased decides he doesn’t want it and tries to fight back. That’s where things get interesting.

For a movie that sounds on its surface to be a sci-fi thriller to turn out to be such a complex reflection on memory, and the way we remember and forget the things that matter the most to us is a very pleasant surprise. The cast is all in top shape. Jim Carrey is able to blend into the movie and serve its goal rather than dominate every scene.

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A group of young technicians who are performing the service while getting stoned and talking about The Clash all provide a perfect balance to the rollercoaster going on in Joel’s head. The cast aside, most of this movie can probably be attributed to esteemed director Michel Gondry. Kaufman penned the story off an initial idea by Gondry – and you can tell the director had a lot to say on this subject matter.

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This movie will force you, as it did me, to sit down and think about the way you remember and forget the emotional parts of your memories. My favorite memories all have colors and tones associated with them, just like this movie. Some parts have virtual spotlights on them, while others blur at the peripheries, something that is accomplished with some really amazing camerawork. When I forget something, it’s not the “remembered/forgotten” binary of most movies (Memento, all Hollywood amnesia thrillers); I lose the little things before losing the big ones. As Joel’s memory fades, he forgets faces on strangers and all the small details that fill out a picture; the borders fade into darkness, grays and whites and then it’s all gone. It’s a remarkable way of handling the subject.

That the ending works so well in this movie may have to be attributed to Gondry. Without giving too much away, it has more in common with the screwball romantic comedy genre of the 40s (think Doris Day) than anything else – and in less capable hands it could have easily been just dismissed as a clever name-drop. Or maybe this was Kaufman’s idea all along and we are seeing the birth of a brand new thing: cleverness for the sake of moving the audience, not pandering to them.

Club Sandwiches, Not Seals

Update! I want to direct everyone to the website posted by liz in the comments: the link

It good to know that there are many young Newfoundlanders out there club in hand just waiting to join the noble ranks of the baby seal hunters. I wonder what a seal medallion or burger tastes like?

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Some one tell me what Paris Hilton, Christina Applegate, and Nick Carter all have in common?

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If you answered that they are the new front line against the clubbing of baby seals, then you would have been correct. This whole situation baffles me. An article in the New York Times this morning indicated that due to increased demand from eastern europe, and other similarly pleasant places seal clubbing is again on the rise in Canada.


I am not exactly what you would call your typical animal rights advocate.
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Anyone introducing themselve to me as a member of "greenpeace" would no doubt promptly meet the back of my hand, or at least have to endure an extended verbal lashing. However, the whole concept of seal clubbing escapes me.

First of all, I have no idea what you do with a baby seal pelt? Can anyone help me out here? Are seal skin pants the latest fashion in the Czech Republic or something? Correct me if I'm wrong, but it just doesn't seem like seal is really the color of the season.
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Second, after decades of scandal and protest, can't this industry find some better way to carry out business than to have large swarthy canadian men lumbering across the snow covered seaside with large clubs crushing the skulls of baby animals right in front of the waiting cameras of animal rights activists? I mean honestly, look how politely the beef industry hides itself from public eye. Not since Upton Sinclair has anyone really had to witness it.