Shaun of the Dead: An Exchange

From: Erik Martin
To: mike

There comes a point in every man's life when his girlfriend gets off of work at 9 oclock in the pm in Champaign, and he decides he must call mike in Chicago to see if he can get show times for a movie. It is not often that such a movie exists that warrents this type of behavior, but last friday such a cinematic masterpiece was showing.

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ELECTION '04: MORE WRINKLES THAN STROM THURMOND'S SCROTUM

Unbeknownst to most voters, there are (and have been for some time) two states that award electors proportionally – Nebraska and Maine. In other words, the Presidential candidate who wins the state does not automatically receive all its electoral votes. Each Congressional district gets one electoral vote, with the state's overall winner taking the two electors representing the Senators.

So let's say Bush won Nebraska (5 electoral votes, because it has 3 Congressmen and 2 Senators) but one of the state's three Congressional districts had more votes for Kerry than Bush – Kerry would get one electoral vote, and Bush gets four.

This remains unknown because it has not been relevant.
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Nebraska is staunchly Republican and Maine has managed to remain unanimous since adopting this system. However, the Colorado Electoral Reform Act could turn out to be extremely relevant in that divided state.

With 9 electoral votes (7 Districts, plus two Senators), Colorado is not usually considered a huge prize.

It is also traditionally Republican, as the urban and hippie population is easily offset by the fact that the preponderance of the state's employment comes from Aerospace and Defense contractors.

But while the state is Republican on the whole, it has 3 Congressional districts – mainly representing metro Denver and Boulder – that are overwhelmingly Democratic. Another district is a toss-up, and the remaining are strong Republican. Furthermore, Bush's 2000 victory in the state was quite narrow.

If the CERA passes, it will be effective for this election. Even assuming another Bush win, Kerry will likely receive at least 3 electoral votes.
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Given that the state's Senate race is leaning Democratic (State Rep Ken Salazar holding a narrow lead over beer magnate Pete Coors), Kerry could increase that to 5 electoral votes by winning the whole state.

Nothing is set in stone at this point, but leave it to the state that gave us Columbine, the nuclear ICBM, and South Park to add another technical loophole that people don't understand but will argue like experts if it becomes relevant in the election.

A MILOS FORMAN-STYLE AUDIENCE REACTION SHOT

Courtesy of our friends over at shykiss.com:

vomit.jpg

I've shit out things more attractive than that. I wonder what manner of guy gives money randomly to the busted girls on the internet? I mean, it's already a matter of degrees: there are, you know, normal people who talk to actual live humans, and then there are creepy guys who sit around and stalk hot girls on the internet.

But what kind of guy stalks the ones who have bodies like Gumby and could probably drive a Winnebago up the vadge they use to get people to like them?

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Is there some subcategory of guy who is somehow not "cool" enough for the decent looking internet porn headcases?
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Perhaps ginandtacos should branch out into this booming Ugly Porn industry…..
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it's like the Valley of Broken Toys, only more saggy and shapeless.