ORIENTED

Posted on | by Ed

Grad school orientation: "OK, seriously people, don't fuck the undergrads.

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Come on. Just don't."

New faculty orientation: "Remember grad school orientation? When we told you not to fuck the undergrads? You probably didn't listen. But now, seriously people, don't fuck the undergrads.

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13 thoughts on “ORIENTED”

  • J. Dryden says:

    Oh yes, that was definitely my experience as well. Fifteen minutes on health benefits, parking, expectations of professional development, and 3 hours on "for the love of God, don't fuck your students or call any of them racial/ethnic slurs. And try not to mention God, Jesus, or anything that might make them think that you want to convert them. Mostly, though, don't fuck them." However, in their defense, I found out pretty quickly that an alarming number of my fellow graduate students were, in fact, fucking the undergrads, so the adminstration's paranoia was well-founded.

  • Desargues says:

    I started grad school twice in America (had to move, didn't like the first program). At St Louis U they totally tried to strike the fear of god into us lest we get any ideas about sleeping with undergrads (like those nubile young women have nothing better to do but have sex with grad school nerds and dorkos). At Johns Hopkins, it all came down to 'if you really can't control your urges, at least use a condom — and don't do it in exchange for better grades; we can be sued for that.'

  • BillCinSD says:

    Engineering Grad School and University, that was not in the orientation at all. Well maybe the faculty one, but with most people being on research stipends, not much interaction occurred with the undergrads and we weren't involved in grading, so sex wasn't as explicitly forbidden in grad school.

  • David says:

    To quote a professor friend of mine who I'll leave unnamed.

    "Fuck the system. It's nobody's business who you sleep with. And fair is fair, if they're screwing you, they probably deserve better grades."

    Ah, cowtown academia….

  • Annoyed says:

    HA! I'm a grad student at a different Ga University. We were never told not to fuck the undergrads. But we ere given advice to not fuck the faculty.

  • Craig says:

    With the long hours, short pay, and ritual humiliation that comes from being on the very lowest rung in the system of Academic Feudalism, I imagine the sex would be about the only attractive thing about grad school.

    It's got to be a narrow window in which the 18 year old undergrads are so taken by one's maturity, prestige and experience that it overcomes one's waning beauty, waxing body mass index, and daily growing bitterness and cynicism. I would think grad students of any gender and persuasion should make their hay before the Sun sets.

  • kelly says:

    hahaha, we got the "DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THE CHILDREN" speech, but were told it was not against the rules for the grad students to sleep with the faculty if both parties were cool with it

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