HOW TO SUCCEED IN JOURNALISM

Posted in Rants on April 8th, 2010 by Ed

For the aspiring journalist who lacks the time to read all of this, the short and simple answer to the titular question: grab Sean Hannity's wang and go to town.

Right wing media figures fall into one of two categories these days – sociopaths and sycophants. The sociopaths write the books and host the shows. The sycophants kiss the sociopaths' asses to get invited on the shows and maybe, just maybe, get the shot to become sociopaths themselves. They prove their worth in the minors, doing a lot of 5th string blogging on semi-popular websites (World Nut Daily, Tucker's Folly, NRO, etc) and assiduously fawning over Beck, Malkin, Hannity, and the like. Ooh, ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Do a side-by-side comparison of these two pieces: "Hannity's Victory: a must-read this year" by Jedediah Bila (whose previous writing credits consist of "conservatives4palin.com" and…) and "Conservative Victory" by Rebecca Hagelin. As the titles reveal, they are both about the new book Conservative Victory by charity fraud Sean Hannity. For a pair of "pro-family" advocates, these married women aren't shy about blowing Hannity in public. Less reviews than press releases, take a look at some of this fine journalism. First, Hagelin:

Sean says it best, (followed by extended quote)

Sean brilliantly connects the dots between…

Sean’s terrific book outlines specific steps… Here are a few of my favorite steps, please read “Conservative Victory” for all of them. (note: not a sentence)

A Conservative Victory is an American victory. I highly recommend Sean Hannity’s book as the way to get started on securing both.

Don't forget to come up for air, Rebecca! Anything to add, Jeddy?

When the going gets tough, it’s time for straight talk. It’s time to say what needs to be said, without all of the lofty rhetoric. That’s precisely what Sean Hannity does in Conservative Victory. Hannity’s style is approachable and no-nonsense, much like the down to earth, call it like he sees it energy he has brought to radio and television from the start. He discloses in his introduction that, “We are in desperate need for a new vision, and an effective strategy, to defeat Barack Obama and the American left before they rob from us everything our ancestors sacrificed to bequeath us, and all that our military has fought, bled, and died to preserve”

Can you even imagine writing shit like this for a living? To have your name attached to such embarrassing and blatant ass-kissing? Well, there's a healthy market for this kind of literary detritus. The only impediment to success is a gag reflex, apparently.