Ways to sit out the insanity.

In the same line as the implication of Erik's and Ed's recent posts, I just can't take this election anymore. This is all insane. Watching Lynne Cheney say that Kerry "is not a good man" while her husband says that voting for Kerry is a vote for a future terrorist attack is really the "it's come to this" moment of the election. And with the slight possibility that the electoral college could tie, I've decided that I'm casting my ballot and going into hiding until it is all over.

Luckily, the mass media is helping me with my election-time exile:

  • The O.C. Season 1 comes out on DVD today. You know you love it. My apartment is already gearing up for the marathon that will begin tonight.
  • Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is also is available at stores today. IGN is calling it the best game for the PS2. The size of the world is 6 times that of Vice City, with roads and small towns connecting the LV, SF and LA stand-ins. I hope somebody is thinking of the children!

    Hey, if you are bored, leave a comment answering the simple y/n question (eleborate if you must): "When we wake up at 9:00am on Wednesday, Nov 3rd, will we know who the President is?" Unfortunately, I think no, we will not..

  • No Really, We are not kidding.

    With just a little over a week remaining before we have a go at electing a president, huge quantities of people still think that George Bush is doing a fine job with whatever the hell it is he is doing in Iraq. In fact, 46% at the end of September.



    At least the trend is promising….oh no wait, no its not. People are actually beginning to think that things are improving? Perhaps my complete and utter confusion will be somewhat mitigated by more polling data.

    From the week Oct. 14-16.

    • 47% of people think that it was a mistake to send troops
    • 54% think that is wasn't worth going
    • 47% think that we were deliberately misled.
    • oh…. and just to top things off a bit, 42% of people seem to be under the impression that Sadaam Hussein was personally involved in the September 11th terrorist attacks.

    To add some perspective, and I know that these numbers vary a lot depending on your particular poll, the Gallup poll has George Bush leading by a margin of 52% to 44%.

    I feel there is no possible way I am reading this correctly. Do you see what I am saying? This actually means that there are people out there that think that it was a mistake to invade Iraq, and who in fact believe that George Bush deliberately misled us, and who aren't voting for Kerry.

    Well ginandtacos.com thinks that some people need some reminder that things in Iraq are more fucked than cheap a internet cam whore.

    I know we have probably all heard that over the weekend 49 unarmed Iraqi soldiers (you know, the ones we are training to take our place) were executed by insurgents. There is no joke here, this is just sad.

    However, another pathetic story that is not being widely covered has shown up in the New York Times today. Yes, I know they are all fucking liberal communist terrorists over there and we ought not trust a word out of their mouths, but who knows. They might be on to something here

    " The Iraqi interim government has warned the United States and international nuclear inspectors that nearly 380 tons of powerful conventional explosives – used to demolish buildings, make missile warheads and detonate nuclear weapons – are missing from one of Iraq's most sensitive former military installations."

    Just in case you didn't read that correctly, I will type it again, 380 tons of explosives. And yes, apparently somebody just walked off with them- possibly concealing them beneath a trenchcoat or something. How else could they have gotten past the American guards with 380 TONS of explosives?

    Oh wait, nevermind, we weren't guarding it. I suppose that it is because we were unaware that it existed until after the weapons were gone. Nope, we have known about this facility since the mid 80's.

    How does George Bush feel about this? Who knows? It is apparently unclear whether or not anyone even bothered to tell him.

    I guess this doesn't matter to the 46% of people who think that the war is going Very Well/Moderately Well.

    Have fun November 2nd!

    HOW COULD WE NOT COMMENT ON THIS?

    If you're like us, the World Series is about as interesting as tap water to you. But America's flagging national pastime has been reinvigorated by Taco Bell's vow to give away 280,000,000 tacos if a promotional target is hit with a home run ball.

    Yes, if this 12'x12' target is hit, every person in the United States will get a free taco.
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    Mind you, it is 144 square feet and placed 420 feet from home plate, so it would take a great but not unfeasible shot to hit it.

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    Hit one here, boys. These orphans ain't gonna feed themselves.

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    While it may initially seem like Taco Bell stands to take a financial beating with this promotion (it's reminiscent of the Simpson's episode with the free Krusty Burgers for American Olympic winners after the Soviets boycott the games), fear not.

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    The company has taken out an insurance policy to provide financial compensation in the event that they must give away 280,000,000 tacos.

    I don't know about you, but tonight I will sleep well knowing that taco insurance not only exists but is in use.

    GINANDTACOS.COM IS FINALLY SPEECHLESS.

    I think we can let this one speak for itself aside from briefly mentioning a link to the original story.

    Pat Robertson, an ardent Bush supporter, said he had that conversation with the president in Nashville, Tennessee, before the March 2003 invasion. He described Bush in the meeting as "the most self-assured man I've ever met in my life.
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    "

    "You remember Mark Twain said, 'He looks like a contented Christian with four aces.' I mean he was just sitting there like, 'I'm on top of the world,' " Robertson said on the CNN show, "Paula Zahn Now."

    "And I warned him about this war. I had deep misgivings about this war, deep misgivings. And I was trying to say, 'Mr. President, you had better prepare the American people for casualties.
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    Robertson said the president then told him, "Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties."

    So apparently he's not a liar, he's just incomprehensibly stupid. Well. I feel better in that case.

    Do you ever have a moment where something that is pretty ordinary or routine is made very personal very quickly?
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    I had that intense moment when I was getting coffee and flipped open the Chicago Reader to see a picture of the late Chris Saathoff and to find an article about him and his band.

    Chris was a friend of Ed and myself; I did not know him anywhere near as well as I wish I had before he died in Feburary. I still have very happy memories of defining "Saathoff's Constant" (still standing at 3.8) to late night drunken legal advice to a game of wits that had a drunken Irishman as the pawn and drumming motions as the threat. Chris was one of those people it was impossible not to like. As this webpage was not up at the time, I never got to post this treasured picture of myself running into him (literally) at a party.
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    I encourage you to read the article, even if you did not know him.
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    I only met his bandmates from Chin Up Chin Up in passing (some under the worst possible conditions); the efforts they made to include Chris posthumously is remarkable. They built songs off of Chris's proposed basslines and isolated his tracks from demos to include them in their new album. It sounds like an amazing feat to have his presence in the project and I'm really excited to hear the results.

    Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!

    And I also want to wear this shirt.
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    Deal with it.

    Order it here. You should wear it too. Order several. She has other shirts in varying degrees of production, including one that has the number "773" on it with a little note in the catalog saying "best area code ever (except for 312)." The fact that she has written such an accurate sentence means you should all give her money on principle – you can also wear that shirt as a bonus.
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    Do you have Carribean Shower Fantasy? Bill O'Reilly does.

    Well ginandtacos.com viewers, all of our favorite pandering assclown is at it again.





    Mr. O'Reilly was outraged yesterday. He claimed that Andrea Mackris, a producer at fox news was attempting to shake him down. Although one could be led to beleive from Mackris's complaint displayed at Thesmokinggun.com that while on the phone with Mackris he was "shaking himself down".

    This is quite a development in the realm of exceptionally absurd news. Whether or it true or not, Miss Mackris's claims read like an exceptionally poorly written romance novel. Perhaps nearly on the level of O'Reilly's own novel Those Who Trespass.

    For anyone who has seen the O'Reilly Factor, or possibly read the book The O'Reilly Factor For Kids should understand why, whether true or not, this is exceptionally funny.


    Please, allow me to demonstrate.

    Look at the photo of Bill O'Reilly interviewing the radical conservative lunatic Ann Coulter.




    Now imagine that Bill O'Reilly is saying:

    "Ann, you ever been to Thailand? I have, damn, this girl I saw in a sex show there did things to me in the back room that blew my mind.

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    "Hey baby, why don't you and I go to the carribean. I'd take a shower with you right away I would take that little loofa thing and kinda' soap up your back… rub it all over you, ret you to relax, hot water…and..um..all the tension would drain out. I would kinda' rub your tummy a little bit with it, and then with my other hand I would start to massage your boobs, get your nipples really hard…"

    *all taken nearly verbatim from Miss Mackris's complaint

    I think you see where this is going. We can all only hope that this is a long protracted legal battle.
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    You just can't make shit like this up.

    I would like to thank Terpsboy for some fantastic Bill O'Reilly picture.

    Up Until now I considered ginandtacos.com The Essence of Luxury

    Also from that previous entry: Elite Traveler magazine exists.

    Look at it. Take a good hard look at it. From their press kit:

    Elite Traveler magazine that has set standards for providing the most affluent audience in the history of media (Household Income of $1 million+). While there are many travel and lifestyle magazines written for the affluent market, until now no magazine in this category has been specifically targeted to the Elite Affluent—the very top end of the market and the smallest but most lucrative slice. (The wealthiest 1/2 of 1 percent of Americans control over 25 percent of Net Worth in the U.S., according to the Federal Reserve.)

    Keep going. Don't stop now! Hey look, a reference to that Two Elite Americans (is that what Edwards was talking about) split:

    Today, there is a widening gap within the affluent community itself…Half of Conde Nast Traveler (49%), Town & Country (49%) and Vanity Fair (48%) readers did not buy ANY fine jewelry in the past 12 months, and those who did spent on average less than $2,000…By contrast, the readers of Elite Traveler not only enjoy the finest life has to offer, they demand it! They are unlike the lower echelon of the affluent market who must save and plan in order to treat themselves to luxury vacations and purchases. The Elite Affluent live a completely different lifestyle.

    Do you love those who make between $200K and $1mil are referred to as the "lower echelon." Wow. Just the printed table of contents preview for their winter issue sets me off as well. "14 Days Touring Elite India." Can you picture the trust fund princess? "I've always heard that India was really spiritual and cultural, but I've also heard it's dirty. I want to visit it, but you know, not visit the common parts."

    The rich are more than welcome to spend their money how they'd like, but if this doesn't serve as the prima facie for a graduated income tax I don't know what will.

    I'm also considering starting another one of these magazines. "Logan Square Elite" will be the first column, focusing on the higher end taco establishments. Shoot comments if you'd like to write another article that we can then use to swindle high-end watch makers into buying our ads (ET has at least $35,000 a PAGE in ad revenue according to their info; picture at least 60 pages of ads) and we'll laugh all the way to the bank.

    How much is just enough? About $10mil.

    Not to take any moral high ground (not that I hate such things), but when I was growing up, I was always taught that if you could pay your bills, keep yourself entertained, keep up your savings and have a little left over at the end of the month you were doing ok. Wow. My parents were fools – evidently you aren't doing ok until your net worth reached eight figures, or just over ten million dollars.

    Very interesting article in slate yesterday about Billionaires for Kerry. They looked over research done for Elite Traveler magazine, in which they polled people whose net worth was over 1 million dollars.

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    The results are fascinating:

    The rich folk [all over 1mil] favored Bush by a 58-42 margin… But when you break out the numbers, they tell a different story. The petit bourgeoisie millionaires were passionately for Bush: Those worth between $1 million and $10 million favored Bush by a 63-37 margin. But the haute millionaires, those worth more than million, favored Kerry 59-41.

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    These results may seem confusing, as Bush is in favor of lowering taxes and Kerry in favor of raising them, but they make more sense seen through this lens: "Russ Prince explained the difference by noting that…those with a net worth of merely seven figures don't feel financially secure. 'The people with less than $10 million are still very focused on their personal financial situation in the short term'."

    Those whose worth is more than $10mil care less about tax policy as they are going to be insanely rich no matter what the tax rate is, and instead get more worked up on things like Drug War policy (Soros) or the environment or, you know, social issues, and that they think that the Democrats have better policy on these topics.

    Can you imagine anything more offensive than someone with 8 million dollars whose only topic of interest that gets him worked up enough to vote is taxes? "Sure we are at war with terrorism, we are occupying/liberating a Middle Eastern nation, health care is out of control, environmental policy is falling apart, pro-life forces are making headways, but the only thing that really matters to me, the only way I'd really measure progress, is to see the top marginal income tax rate below 30%."

    Iraq and environmental policy are just two of the things less important than capital gains tax rates

    This makes me laugh even more as I was at a party on Saturday where I talked to a person I knew from college who now works for the timber industry (he knows who he is if he visits this webpage). He brought up his salary (of course he did) which was ~$50,000, and then proceeded to talk about how he was more conservative these days as he feels his taxes are too high.

    Huh? What? The idea that Bush et al is looking out for this guy when they discuss tax reform is absurd. (You don't trickle-down from the middle-class.) At that salary you will be comfortable but you'll never be independently wealthy (presumably his dream) – why not give up your dreams of being uber-rich and let your venting focus on unemployment, or health care? The idea that he feels a sense of solidarity with those who have 5 million dollars in the bank is more than a little absurd.