THESE COLORS DON'T RUN. THEY ENGAGE IN WAR PROFITEERING.

This beautiful image represents Halliburton's stock price over the last 18 months. Quick translation into english: if you owned $1,000,000 worth of stock in July of 2002, before the invasion of Iraq became imminent, you now have about $3,000,000.

Dick Cheney's exercisable stock options, which he of course retains even though it's a clear conflict of interest, total about $40 million in the form of 3 separate batches of 433,333 shares of stock.

Well, they DID total $40 million. It's worth closer to $100,000,000 million now. The added value comes mostly from stock price increases related to the company's KBR subsidiary which, through an open-ended contract (both in term and amount) that was not open to competitive bidding, supposedly provides the army with supplies and reconstruction services. I say "supposedly", of course, because KBR is currently under investigation by the Justice Department for billing the government for phantom supplies that were never delivered and grossly overcharging on supplies that were – not that $7 per gallon of gasoline is excessive.

I'm aware that everyone basically already knew (or assumed) Halliburton was on the receiving end of some shady deals involving Cheney, but I thought it would be fun and enlightening to see in concrete terms how much money it's put in his own pocket, notwithstanding all the other leeches outside of public domain. He personally made in excess $30,000,000 off the decision to go to war. But you'd be a foolish liberal, and also a terrorist, to claim that the lure of that much money would color his objectivity.

Have some fun with Cheney and all his friends on ginandtacos.com's neocon bingo – a faith-based bingo initiative intended to promote abstinence in the Third World.

Tarantino's Universe

Dave Kehr's Kill Bill Allusion Chart

Dave Kehr was an excellent movie critic for the Chicago Reader from 1974 to 1985; he helped established the tone of the Reader's reviews as being the beachhead against the Pauline Kael style of movie criticism that would later dominate all of movie-reviewing; he created the mold for Jonathan Rosenbaum to fill at a later date.

Kehr left his Chicago, like everyone does, to arrive already obscelent in New York City. Where the reader gave him pages and pages (and love!), The New York Times gives him 4 paragraphs to review whatever A.O. Scott and Stephen Holden pass over (for instance, he got to review The Rock's latest movie).

Kehr gives as good as a stab at explaining what Tarantino is up to in Kill Bill as anyone I've seen. And he knows more than enough to walk you through some of the more rocky references; things like the difference between the skillful Chinese martial arts movie tradition versus the sloppy and blood-soaked Japanese tradition , and where spaghetti westerns fit into it all. He also catches a lot that I missed (confession: I had no idea that David Carradine was the monk from the TV series Kung-Fu that is brought up in Pulp Fiction). If the second part is actually focused on various forms of westerns it gives me hope that the Vol. split in the movie wasn't just a marketing decision or a last minute hesitation but actually fits into the overall project.


And damn if that Uma Thurman as John Wayne in "Searchers" shot doesn't make me want to simultaneously hug and slap the guy.

Private Enterprise defending the castle

Like the rest of the United States, media or otherwise, I had never heard about Blackwater Security until last week, when four of it's private contractors were killed in the Sunni Triangle. And again, like everyone else, I assumed that they were private contractors, hired to do the things that the army couldn't, like putting out oil fires or getting the electricity back up and running.

So it was very surprising when I flipped open the Post to find a story about Blackwater Security guards being the only people defending the government's base in Najaf (their headline: Private Guards Repel Attack on U.S. Headquarters). During all the rioting going on in Iraq over the weekend, several hundred armed Iraqis stormed the CPA's main government building in Najaf – and the only people who held them off were 1 marine and 8 Blackwater Security guards.
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Also, Blackwater "sent in its own helicopters amid an intense firefight to resupply its commandos with ammunition". Wow, that sounds like something the military should be doing, not hiring people to do. It's important to note that in the picture above, from the CPA, with the exception of the one marine in camos everyone else is one of those private contractors you hear about (evidently not putting out oil fires – notice how that one guy is wearing a collared work shirt with his assult rifle!!!)

What's the benefit to Bush of doing things this way? One is that he doesn't have to count these people as soliders – making the number of americans gunning away in Iraq less. The other? From the Post: "A Defense Department spokesman said that there were no military reports about the opening hours of the siege on CPA headquarters in Najaf because there were no military personnel on the scene.
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" So much for accountability and transparency.

The government, the military and the people they serve/protect will be able to get the reports on that seige from Blackwater headquarters the day after you can subpoena the secret herbs and spices from KFC.

You'd think with all that money they could afford sturdier clothes

It really is shameless. You would think one prominent pop musician baring her breasts in public would be enough for one year. However, not to be upstaged, and possibly fearing that her truly dignified lesbianesque imagery was fading from public eye, Britney Spears experienced a similar "wardrobe malfunction" last night in front of a innocent unsuspecting crowd of radio executives (affectionately described by Roe Conn of WLS am as balding and wearing silk jackets). Although no one is accusing her of doing it intentionally, good god, can't she afford clothing that won't break apart under the stress of singing sappy teen pop?

This girl is clearly losing it. I suppose this really shouldn't surprise anyone. I guess when you are constantly trying to out-skank yourself, things are bound to take a turn for the worse. But hell, since we are all human and enjoy a good train wreck lets take a step back for a moment and examine these pictures displayed in chronological order.

1999 2002 2004

Well, that was amusing for about 37 seconds. If you are really interested in this story, the only place I have found reporting it is listed below. And no you creepy bastard, there are no pictures…..and I imagine all of those middle aged radio executives are fine upstanding members of society and they will never find their way onto the internet.

The only place reporting this as of right now

And remember, regardless of what her publicist says, nothing- under any circumstances- ever happens in Las Vegas at 6 AM while sober. Nothing.

Remember, ginandtacos.com will be the next pitchforkmedia, and read our record reviews

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

One of the legacies of Pulp Fiction across the way smaller, more independent film is done in America is an emphasis on cleverness. Like a lot of things, Tarantino inherited this from the French New Wave and immediately made it his own, and was talented (or lucky, depending on your opinion) enough to do a good job of it. An emphasis on subtle (and not-so-subtle) allusions to all of pop culture, a bag full of narrative tricks and devices, the kind of cinematography and editing that seemed designed to simply show off, characters who are either too-cool-for-school or sad losers to whom you can feel superior, and a knowing audience (and the baseline cynicism they bring) were suddenly very in vogue – something that was made concrete by the surprise major success of “The Usual Suspects.”

Enter the cleverest of a generation of clever screenwriters, Charlie Kaufman. His movies are the kind of complex brain puzzles that get so lost in its own style that it views the idea of having to have an ending with contempt (Adaptation). He was so good at this, his movies seemed like the possible culmination of the *wink wink* snarky cinema for which the 90s will probably be remembered. So it’s so satisfying to see him be behind a movie that has one of the strongest emotional cores of any movie released this decade: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

In this movie, Jim Carrey stars as a man named Joel Barish, yet another prototypical Kauffman loser stand-in, dating the vibrant but troubled Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet). After a particularly nasty breakup, Clementine goes through a process where all her memories of their relationship are erased from her head. Joel, after learning about this, decides to go through the same procedure, but while his memories are being erased decides he doesn’t want it and tries to fight back. That’s where things get interesting.

For a movie that sounds on its surface to be a sci-fi thriller to turn out to be such a complex reflection on memory, and the way we remember and forget the things that matter the most to us is a very pleasant surprise. The cast is all in top shape. Jim Carrey is able to blend into the movie and serve its goal rather than dominate every scene.

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A group of young technicians who are performing the service while getting stoned and talking about The Clash all provide a perfect balance to the rollercoaster going on in Joel’s head. The cast aside, most of this movie can probably be attributed to esteemed director Michel Gondry. Kaufman penned the story off an initial idea by Gondry – and you can tell the director had a lot to say on this subject matter.

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This movie will force you, as it did me, to sit down and think about the way you remember and forget the emotional parts of your memories. My favorite memories all have colors and tones associated with them, just like this movie. Some parts have virtual spotlights on them, while others blur at the peripheries, something that is accomplished with some really amazing camerawork. When I forget something, it’s not the “remembered/forgotten” binary of most movies (Memento, all Hollywood amnesia thrillers); I lose the little things before losing the big ones. As Joel’s memory fades, he forgets faces on strangers and all the small details that fill out a picture; the borders fade into darkness, grays and whites and then it’s all gone. It’s a remarkable way of handling the subject.

That the ending works so well in this movie may have to be attributed to Gondry. Without giving too much away, it has more in common with the screwball romantic comedy genre of the 40s (think Doris Day) than anything else – and in less capable hands it could have easily been just dismissed as a clever name-drop. Or maybe this was Kaufman’s idea all along and we are seeing the birth of a brand new thing: cleverness for the sake of moving the audience, not pandering to them.

Club Sandwiches, Not Seals

Update! I want to direct everyone to the website posted by liz in the comments: the link

It good to know that there are many young Newfoundlanders out there club in hand just waiting to join the noble ranks of the baby seal hunters. I wonder what a seal medallion or burger tastes like?

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Some one tell me what Paris Hilton, Christina Applegate, and Nick Carter all have in common?

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If you answered that they are the new front line against the clubbing of baby seals, then you would have been correct. This whole situation baffles me. An article in the New York Times this morning indicated that due to increased demand from eastern europe, and other similarly pleasant places seal clubbing is again on the rise in Canada.


I am not exactly what you would call your typical animal rights advocate.
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Anyone introducing themselve to me as a member of "greenpeace" would no doubt promptly meet the back of my hand, or at least have to endure an extended verbal lashing. However, the whole concept of seal clubbing escapes me.

First of all, I have no idea what you do with a baby seal pelt? Can anyone help me out here? Are seal skin pants the latest fashion in the Czech Republic or something? Correct me if I'm wrong, but it just doesn't seem like seal is really the color of the season.
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Second, after decades of scandal and protest, can't this industry find some better way to carry out business than to have large swarthy canadian men lumbering across the snow covered seaside with large clubs crushing the skulls of baby animals right in front of the waiting cameras of animal rights activists? I mean honestly, look how politely the beef industry hides itself from public eye. Not since Upton Sinclair has anyone really had to witness it.

Working In Iraq

….So if you are really interested in working in Iraq, you might want to check this out.

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Mike mentioned earlier "monster.
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comesque listings"

Here are the actual Monster.com listings for "employment oppertunities" in Iraq:

Monster Jobs In Iraq

Not that I know anything about really being employed, but if I were you I would take a serious look at the listings for "interogator" or "debriefer". Sounds like a good time.

What's with this math?

Wow. We finally had a month of strong employment growth.

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Among other leadering factors for this jump are the 72,000 idled grocery workers in california who are no longer striking, and are working again, and are thus now being counted as new jobs, and that it is spring again, so construction (the other leading industry in hiring) begins anew.

Wait – we don't mean to be this cynical – the market may actually be improving, and all we had to do was drive the country three trillion dollars into debt to get it.
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My two cents, before everyone else jumps in and starts slapping each other on the back:

($500billion yearly deficit) / (4 for quarterly) / (revised 171,000 jobs created per month * 3 months) = we are taking $243,664 in debt per job created.

Now granted, I'm sure those grocery workers and all the other jobs our economy created this past quarter are paying above the $250,000/yr mark, but let's pretend they aren't.

I'm not an economist by any means, (I've always run to math equations instead of theory) so I'll need someone to explain to me why this is an efficient system.

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I'll probably believe you, because like most americans I'll believe anything if there are enough fancy words used – and before we start revising history the sole stated reason for taking this deficit (100 or so billion for Iraq aside) was to save the economy. And no, I'm not a centralizing fan or a socialist – I just think there has to be a way to create a bunch of crappy service-industry jobs that is more cost-effective than this trickle-down – and I want to stop the debate from being "Wow – look how trickle-down saved the country" and turn it into "so, was this worth it? Was there possibly another way?"

The Complete Sean Hannity Experience

It takes no more than a brief look around this site to realize the intense love all of its authors feel for the enigmatic and often misunderstood media personality, Sean Hannity.

However, in light of the new launch of Air America and the potential clear-channel cable network and talk radio show (rumored to be hosted by Al Gore and Jesse Jackson) Sean Hannity might be at risk of having his strangle hold on america's talk radio listeners slowly loosen.

It is a good thing that it is time once again for the "Hannitization of America" tour. If you live in Chicago and don't get enough of Mr. hannity from 7-10pm weekdays on News talk 890 WLS am or on the Fox News showHannity and Colmes 8pm weeknights.

The Hannitization of Chicago is scheduled to occur on May the 7 at the Plaza Hilton. Tickets are available right now at:

Tickets.com

*update: After checking for myself, it looks like the tickets are not actually on sale now. I got some dodgy information from Roe Conn on WLS yesterday.

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To the best of my knowledge the Hannitization of America tour is still going to be in Chicago on May 7th.
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I will keep you posted as to when I actually find the tickets on sale.

Perhaps you think that you can live a fully self actualized life without being Hannitized, but I think not!