GIN AND TACOS

On the heels of yesterday's post re: the phenomenal level of subtlety among right-wingers, I present some comments from our Vice President.

He offers his standard homage to tax cuts, a warning about how terrorists are still trying desperately “to cause mass death here in the United States” and a derisive cataloging of the various “Dean Democrats,” congressmen including Charles B. Rangel of New York, Henry A. Waxman of California and Barney Frank of Massachusetts, whose influence would grow if the apocalypse came and Democrats took over Congress.

The crowd boos. “Don’t hold back,” Mr. Cheney urges.

The crowd laughs.

For those of you who aren't familiar with these more-obscure members of Congress, let me summarize what just happened here. The Vice-President, who I believe is a white guy, stood up in front of a room full of white Christian rednecks in Kansas and told them that if the Republicans lose control of Congress it will hand the nation over to Rangel (black), Waxman (Jewish), and Frank (gay).

Once again, so subtle! Too subtle! Stop with the subtle, it hurts! And so plausibly deniable! "What do you mean? I just picked those three names at random!" There was no intent on our Vice President's part, of course, to gain any mileage from rural redenecked Kansans' feelings about blacks, Jews, and homosexuals. None. In fact, the Vice President isn't even sure how Republican Kansans feel about those groups. Do they dislike them or something?

I can't tell if this is a 2006 midterm election or the 1952 Alabama governor's race.

…to ice skate uphill.

Blade's going to jail! Cue Stephen Dorff: "You used to be the Daywalker. Now look at you. You're a little bitch."

You have to hand it to the far right. If nothing else, they're phenomenally subtle.

Case in point: as the Republican loss of power in the House appears inevitable, the NRCC, the RNC, and assorted other right-wing blowhards have started trying to turn the election into a referendum on Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House. Part and parcel of this strategy is frequently using the "San Francisco liberal" epithet at every possible opportunity.

Now, Nancy Pelosi is an idiot. Approximately 90 seconds of conversation is more than enough to exhaust her knowledge of any single issue. But in this case I'm more bemused by the Republicans' "clever" rhetorical strategy than I am turned off by Pelosi.
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"San Francisco liberal?" Get it? GET IT? (*nudge* *wink*). We know you rural folk don't like them "San Francisco" types! Isn't it awesome how well that term allows you to feign ignorance when people call you a homophobe?
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Why, whoever said anything about gays? We were just talking about those "San Francisco" liberals!

Hee hee!

Cute. So cute.

Here's a story that the raging-liberal American media has done an excellent job of sweeping under the rug to appease the higher-ups in the Pentagon.

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Apparently the military has devised a new way to stop the reporting of unfavorable information: killing journalists.

Now, it's a bit hypocritical to suddenly be up in arms over the deaths of western journalists at the hands of the US military; they've been lighting up middle eastern journalists by the dozen for three years now.

Nevertheless it's pretty shocking to see how the Department of Defense allows its American Heroes to murder journalists for having the gall to actually do investigative journalism (i.e., anything beyond sitting in the Green Zone and regurgitating Pentagon press releases).
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Top work, guys! These "accidents" have a way of "happening," after all.

We're a real band now. After 5 years, we have finally got around to acquiring t-shirts. Buy one (bottom left of the store page).
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They're reasonably priced, suited for use as cleaning rags, they make great gifts, and they comply with anti-toplessness regulations in all 50 states (and Puerto Rico).
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Yes, we'll come up with something that's actually funny next time

Buy a shirt or I'll make 110 dead bodies turn up in Baghdad tomorrow. Oh wait, that'll happen anyway. For the next four years, apparently. But don't let that change the fact that you need to buy a shirt.
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Well, to absolutely no one's surprise, the DPRK is now nukeular. Good thing we've spent the last 3 years pissing away our resources and credibility in Iraq. After all, we had some very reliable Russian intelligence (which turned out to be forged, of course) indicating that they were trying to buy low-grade enriched uraniaum from the Sudan. And aluminum tubes. TUBES, people. Tubes. That's some serious shit.

That obviously posed a much more serious threat than North Korea's real, honest-to-god nuclear weapons program at Yongbon, the existence of which was confirmed during Clinton's first term.

For the record, I hope you're all aware that North Korean nuclear weapons pose no direct threat to the United States. That is, they don't have the capability to deliver them to the lower 48. The Nodong-2 (Ahahaha. No dong. Whee.) is a modified Scud missile, meaning it's about as accurate as a medieval catapult and has barely as much range. The Taepodong-2 is three-stage and has theoretical range to hit the US, but it's yet to experience a successful test. So North Korean ballistic missile technology is just about to the point American technology reached in 1948. Good work, retards.

So the "threat" to the United States is minimal.
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But Japan, South Korea, Southeast Asia, and American soil in the Pacific rim….that's another story altogether. They might want to stock up on SPF 100,000 sunblock.
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Bravo, George. Thanks for being officially asleep at the switch on this one.

There's only one thing a blogger can do in response to a post that bores the living shit out of everyone who lays eyes on it – do a follow-up a few months later.

So now that the primaries are over, let's take another look at them there Senate races. I'll take a look at my predictions from May, make fun of them where appropriate, and talk about where we stand for November 8. Please note that I'm getting poll numbers from a number of excellent sources of aggregated public opinion research, including this one, Rasmussen, and Real Clear.

Continue reading →

Woodward's "State of Denial" is by no means a bad book. Nor is it a book you'd fail to find informative and thoughtful. I'm just not convinced that you will learn all that much new information.
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And there are easier, cheaper, and quicker ways to get yourself all pissed off. Like clicking here. Did it work? Isn't that amazing?

At the risk of getting nasty phone calls from Woodward's lawyers (don't worry guys, this site has like 4 readers), let me spoilerize the book:

1. George W. Bush is completely surrounded with yes-men, and he immediately expunges anyone who questions (or fails to affirm) his pre-programmed conception of reality like a body rejecting a donor organ.

2. Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are far, far more concerned with handing out war profiteering deals from the "Rebuilding Iraq" cookie jar than they are with the constant stream of contradictory information from people on the ground.

3. The Neocon Economic Year Zero for Iraq plan has very quietly been admitted an abject failure.

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For example, the book's subjects are shocked to learn that terminating the jobs of 400,000 people who worked for the Iraqi government without offering alternative employment (because Iraq was a lab experiment to show that the private sector will do that, kids!) has resulted in A) abject poverty and B) a whole lot of those destitute people heading over to the insurgent camp so they could be, you know, fed and clothed.

And sorry Bob, Naomi Klein nailed this one a long time ago.

Now, did you really not know any of that? Spend your time on the internet doing much more important and hilarious things.

ps – 22 American soldiers, mostly Marines, killed in Iraq in the last 72 hours. But it's alright, killing Zarqawi was the nail in the coffin of the insurgency.

Pull up a chair and watch the GOP House leadership try to turn Mark Foley's fiasco into Watergate or Iran-Contra: that is, who knew what and when did they know it?

In essence, Hastert, Reynolds, et al are arguing that they didn't have access to the "sexually explicit" electronic messages Foley sent to underage male pages until after his resignation. Prior to that, they merely knew that he had "overly friendly" communication with the pages.
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Which is apparently OK.

To sum up: it is alright for a married, 50 year-old Congressman in the party that practically trips over itself bringing up "family values" every 10 minutes to hit on or otherwise get "overly friendly" with 16 year old boys so long as any communication is not sexually explicit. It's OK to be creepy, just don't leave any smoking-gun evidence. Intellectually, this argument (coming forth from Hastert, Boehner, and Reynolds) means that the leadership is not concerned with whether or not Foley's behavior was inappropriate.
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They were concerned about how much evidence he left behind and whether or not they could safely ignore it. Plausible deniability. Iran-Contra.

This is officially gut-check time for the GOP. Do Republican voters hold their party accountable to the family values they hold dear?
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Or do they just ignore the fact that their leaders don't give two flying fucks about family values but instead are willing to say, do, and conceal anything and everything in the interest of maintaining power?
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I think the answer is obvious – they blame it all on the Democrats and stay the course.