Little Bitches

You know who they are. They know who they are. They are little bitches, and we all have to deal with them. Whether it's that fat kid who's way too into data systems, the Christian kid down the hall who gives you the pro-abstinence speech, or the tool who thinks he's deep because he read one Bukowski short story, everyone has a little bitch or two in their life, and ginandtacos.com is here to help you deal with them.

First, what exactly is a little bitch? Webster's defines it thusly:

little bitch- n (lit'-uhl bit-ch); a derivative of the human male species; native to suburbs and college campuses; fosters an urge to slap him in all he encounters (etymology: Latin 'litius'=small or childlike, 'bitchum'=one who is a fucking dildo)

That didn't help much, did it? Perhaps we should lead by example. These following links will clear things up for you and help you identify the little bitches in your world:

The Ginandtacos.com Types of Little Bitches chart

The Little Bitch Hall of Fame

The first link is a field guide that will help you to quickly identify a little bitch so that you can safely prepare for an encounter with one. The second link lists some famous little bitches throughout history to further clarify the point.


What to do if you Encounter a Little Bitch


An encounter with a little bitch is a frightening experience. However, with a little Ginandtacos.com know-how, you can escape unscathed.

1. Never panic–After all, he is a little bitch. Stay focused, and remember that you have shit out things scarier than this loser.

2. Call him out–Nothing scares a little bitch away quicker than being called on something. For example, let's say a Guy who likes to act sad/smart in front of women type bitch (refer to the chart above) responds to a story you tell with, "That's so postmodern." Simply say, "Do you know what that means, or are you just trying to look smart?" Works every time.

3. Beware of backup bitches–Little bitches usually have sycophants following them around to laugh at their jokes, admire their "intelligence," and generally make them feel like they are not little bitches. Beware these parasites, they give the little bitch badly-needed confidence. However, once separated from these people who follow him around and worship him, the little bitch will remember that he is an assmaster with a really small dick and can thus be neutralized.

4. Don't take any shit–You feel very, very sorry for a little bitch at some point….his ineptitude, over-compensation, and lingering bedwetting problems will foster pity in your heart. You will refrain from destroying him because of your sympathy. However, remember that the little bitch will turn on you as soon as he thinks he can. So don't pass up a chance to point out that he's been using the word "maudlin" wrong for 45 minutes at a party and that Vonnegut is not an existentialist like he just told that pretty girl in the corner….get him while you have the chance, or else he'll start ripping you the second his confidence breaks the surface level.