"Hi my name is Jack Ryan. It is my promise to the voters of the Illinois that if elected I will work to privatize schools, get funding for a missle defense shield, and lower tax rates on corporate earnings. And it is also my promise that if you vote for me this November, my ex-wife and I will personally show up to your house and have sex on your bed while you watch and take pictures. That's the Jack Ryan promise."
That's of course a parody ad. Sort of. Big news in chicagoland: the recently released divorce papers of Illinois senate candidate Jack Ryan, state that Mr. Ryan tried to get his ex-wife, actress Jeri Ryan, to have sex in "sex clubs" in Paris and New York. In the following excerpt, "respondent" is Mr. Ryan:
"The clubs in New York and Paris were explicit sex clubs. Respondent had done research. Respondent took me to two clubs in New York during the day. One club I refused to go in. It had mattresses in cubicles. The other club he insisted I go to."
Wow. This senate race in Illinois is shaping up to be a virtually "how-to" book on running for office:
Lesson One: Don't Beat Your Wife. Else we'd probably be sitting here talking about Blair Hull.
Lesson Two: If you want to be a Common-Sense Midwestern, Do Not Go to Sex Clubs in New York and Paris. Is there anything more alienating and upsetting to mid-west Republicans than just the existence of New York and Paris? Not to even mention the idea idea of their Golden Boy sneaking into a loft in the meatpacking district filled with soiled mattresses.
I was really upset that the Obama campaign had never gotten back to me about volunteering. Guess it doesn't matter much. I have a friend who works in a small-town illinois newspaper, and he gets weekly press releases from Ryan. And every single one just talks about how elite and socialist and evil Obama is to the voters. For someone who is counting on taking some sort of morality lead with voters south of I-80, well, he doesn't have to worry about that very much. Because as much as Republicans in chicagoland may possibly be ok with this news, once you get to Carbondale I think voters may be a bit more judgemental.
Last thought: like most things it's the reaction that's important. Evidently (check the suntimes link above) he spent much of the weekend and past week (and entire election) assuring Republicans, who in Illinois are very shell-shocked these days from scandal, that there was nothing to worry about in that file. It so reminds me of Clinton telling all of his secretaries and spokespeople to bunt for him as he was clearly innocent of any wrongdoing. Man does that bite you in the ass – Republicans are already looking into whether or not they can switch candidates. And Bush is defintely not coming to Illinois to support Ryan. Even if Ryan lets him watch.