You might be a completely worthless idiot if…

We here at the Ginandtacos Corporation try our hardest to take the high road. We pride ourselves with the degree to which our gentlemanly persona is an example for future generations of gin drinkers and taco consumers. However, unfortunately, there comes a time when something so mind bogglingly idiotic occurs that while in a hopelessly confused stupor we must share it and pray that in doing so we will find some catharsis.

On August the 11th some anonymous, and clearly well educated individual commented these honest criticism of the ginandtacos.com Champaign Bar Reviews, specifically referencing our reviews of Kam's and C. O. Daniel's:

It's complete bullshit for you to rate bars that you have either never been to or only visited a few times. You make ridiculous judgments about the "type" of people who frequent certain bars. I, as well as all my friends, went to Kams, CO's and Gully's. As far as paying $5 to get in- not if you knew someone…

You bet you can drink "one more than us." That, as well, is probably bullshit. Unless you stand at the bar of CO's and do Jagerbombs all night long, I doubt this is true. Drinking $1.50 pints of High Life for three hours is not the true definition of getting fucked up.

Coincidentally, the only campus bars that don't make you want to shoot yourself are the ones that make me want to shoot myself.

Possibly the only true thing you have said in your entire posting of useless drivel is that you would get your ass kicked at Kams.

Peace, bitch.

Posted by at August 11, 2004 11:07 AM

Ginandtacos.com would like to present as a counter argument: You sir are a little bitch of epic and historically significant proportions- a bitch on such a level that your friends neighbors and coworkers will be in constant awe of your unadulterated bitchiness.

We would also like to propose that you look something like this:

That being said, you might ask yourself why it is that ginandtacos.com believes you so be so utterly without worth? Let me address this on a point-by-point basis.

  • You seem to feel as though I am not able to make an accurate assessment of Kams of CO Daniels because I don’t frequent these establishments. It does not take a long arduous study to conclude that these bars smell of puke (probably yours) and urine. It does not take going to a bar every night to realize that their floor is so covered in shit that you have to throw out your pants and shoes when you get home. At this point, it does not take great leaps of faith or intense mental fortitude to assume that the regular patron of such an establishment has neither intelligence nor self respect- or really is even aware of the existence of either of these things.

    In case there is any doubt, take a look at these photos courtesy of IlliniParty.com :


    Try and play the fun and exciting how many of these men are of age versus how many of the women game.

  • The only reason I ever mention that I drink more than you…is well… because I can. At this point in my life it is not something that I take great pride in, but well, it is true. The fact that you use as a counter example your seeming epic consumption of Jagerbombs can only serve to confuse the issue. You are no doubt either underage or confused. Jagermeister is not hard liquor. It is about on the level of peach schnapps. If you had paid more attention in your introduction to numeracy class you would be able to figure out that 16 ounces of beer has about twice as much alcohol as a shot of Jager. Of course that never occurred to you did it? No doubt all the Red Bull you consumed had sped up your metabolism to disturbing levels clouding your judgment. I will forgive you this point, as an inexperienced drinker you probably mistook this feeling for drunkenness. However, if you ever get serious, try drinking beer and whiskey; it’s better for you.

As a final note.
1. Knowing someone who can get you into a shitty bar for free is not cool.
2. Neither is implying that you would kick peoples asses because they are different from you.
3. You are a little bitch.

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39 Responses to “You might be a completely worthless idiot if…”

  1. mike Says:

    Those pictures really don't convey how dirty that bar is. For our readers who are not already familiar, look at how many guys are trolling around in the background of the left picture; also look at how the big guy in the blue shirt on the right side of the right picture has pit stains.

    through two shirts.

    that place is how chlamydia would look if it came in bar form.

  2. Dave. Says:

    It's true, Erik really can 'go the distance' with the drink. Olly Reed's Zombie corpse on a hard drinking night out would probably balk at the sheer amount of alcohol that can be packed away by this man.

    It wasn't the vodka that killed John Bonham, it was the shame of not being able to drink like Erik.

  3. Ed Says:

    Tequila killed John Bonham. Look it up!

  4. erik Says:

    I don't really think that I can drink with the best of those historical drinkers (hemingway maybe, I have always thought that he overstated his alcohol consumption) more specifically, I just am certain that I drink more than this little bitch. At least more consistently anyway.

  5. eep Says:

    I love you, Erik. Seriously.

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  7. erik Says:

    Thank you for the support Ellen and Stacy, it is good to know that occasionally my smartassiness does not go unnoticed.

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