How derelict is it to maintain a website about gin and tacos without making sure that the public is properly informed about how best to enjoy these foods? Very derelict.
Come, take my hand. I am going to review the absolute basics for proper gin and taco enjoyment. You will be a better person by the end of this piece. We will focus on gin first.
There are countless mixed drinks that feature gin. The most common, the martini and the gin & tonic, are not worthy of our focus. Martinis have a folklore built up around them, as purists try in vain to distill the "perfect" one. I leave it to such people to debate the merits and techniques of this drink. Gin & tonic is far too simplistic to warrant our attention. Pouring two ingredients over ice requires no guide.
The perfect Collins, courtesy Joe @ The Underground Lounge
Instead we focus on the Tom Collins. Legend has it named after the Head Waiter at a particular London hotel in the late 19th Century. The Museum of the American Cocktail exhibit in New Orleans also suspected that its name derives from the use of a sweetened form of gin known as "Old Tom." Since we do not have access to archaic Victorian liquors, here are the basic ingredients of a modern Collins:
Extensive field testing (and I do mean extensive) has proven the superior ratio of these three ingredients to be 1:1:1. It seems overly simplistic, but it is accurate. Produce the cocktail by filling a shaker with ice cubes and 1/3 cup (liquid measure, of course) of gin. Shot glasses are poor measuring devices. Use measuring cups to get this perfect, otherwise the ratios will be off and the flavors imbalanced. Pour in your gin, and let it rest for a moment. The alcohol will melt the ice and add just a bit of water to the mix. Then measure off 1/3 cup of the remaining two ingredients. Shake vigorously. Your intent is to get the sugary syrup in the lemon juice (or pre-made mix) to become aerated and frothy. This is the key to getting a light, sweet drink rather than one with a thick sugary residue. Pour into glasses filled with additional ice. The proper garnish is a cherry with either a lemon or orange wedge according to your preference. Limes are flat-out wrong.
Three 6 Mafia said it best when they alerted a generation of Americans to the prevalence of recreational cough syrup usage: "Take that monkey shit off, you embarrassing us. I got the wet promenthazine, the orange and yellow Tuss."
This song incited a mad quest to uncover the true, authentic recipie for sippin' sizzurp. Variations abound on the internet. However, careful analysis of the group's oeuvre reveals the proper contents to be:
Not being men of weights and measures, the exact ratio of these ingredients cannot be deduced from Three 6 Mafia lyrics. However, an approximation would be to discard half of the liquid from the Large Sprite as noted above. Pour one (standard 4 ounce pharmacy size) bottle of Robo-X and an ample but not overpowering quantity of gin into the cup. Shake well. The presence of ice is controversial. At this point it may be best to empty the mixture, sans ice, into a large glass or other appropriate receptacle for consumption. Don't forget to garnish with the Jolly Rancher or cough drop.
And there you have it. I will consider this sizzurp recipie to be authoritative until proven otherwise.