Do people in New York really have their heads as far up their own asses as their attitudes indicate?
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Or is the rest of the country just projecting inadequacies onto the helpless citizens of our nation's largest city?
I've always been firmly in the "heads in asses" camp. I saw something this morning that strongly reinforced my admitted bias. A New York sportswriter described this World Series as "the greatest Series ever played that no one saw" (pretend for a moment that he's not talking about a subject you don't care about….after all, you could punch in "Senate race" or "new Musical" and find the same comment being made about anything happening west of Manhattan).
I will assume this man has an atlas, internet access, and an old dusty World Almanac either in his posession or available to him through the company that pays him to write such nonsense. I will also assume that he realizes that the topic on which he speaks has played out between Los Angeles (2nd largest city), Chicago (3rd), and Houston (5th), with a combined metro area population of over 20 million. Not to mention some other little villages like Atlanta, Boston, and St. Louis.
As I like to say about politics, in order to make such a statement this writer must be either totally ignorant or a complete asshole. I have to strike out ignorance here – surely this man is aware that Chicago and Houston are rather populous.
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Therefore the only remaining possibility is that he and his legions of readers are complete and utter assholes. Because when he says "no one" he means "we", and of course nothing could possibly be important unless New Yorkers, the only people whose opinions count, care about it.
This man and his ilk may simply be oblivious to the existence of 250 million people in this country outside Manhattan. Or they may be conscious of it and honestly believe that their judgment is the sole arbiter of what is and is not important in the world – if William F. Buckley isn't writing about it and Annie Liebovitz isn't taking pictures of it, it might as well not be happening.
Fuck you, New York. I cannot stress that enough. Please. Get a running start down one of your long boulevards, hit the trampoline in full stride, and land ass-first on something long, thin, and cylindrical.
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And spare the rest of us two years of writing and news coverage about the Great Manhattan Ass Violation Spree of 2005.