V-day: Last minute plans.

I love the Valentine's Day period, if only to see the endless "Let's advise the oafish husband on how to buy diamonds" television commericals, or to hear the pragmatic "women love this stuff, let us at Mega Jewelry Depot help you shovel it to them" talk radio commericals.

It's all seems so useless, when there is only one Valentine's Day event that needs to be observed: White Castle's Valentine's Day Romantic Dinner:

Make your Valentine’s Day STEAMY! Take your Valentine to White Castle on Tuesday, February 14 between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m and enjoy hostess seating, candlelit dining and your own server. Reservations are required, so check the list below for participating Castles near you!

And how. Check the link to see if a White Castle near you is participating. My love of all things White Castle has been well documented on this site, and this is my chance to take said love to the next level. God bless us everyone.

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8 Responses to “V-day: Last minute plans.”

  1. Ed Says:

    The periods immediately before Christmas and V-day are very entertaining times to listen to AM talk radio (especially sports-talk or Rush Limbaugh type stuff). The string of commercials that start out with "I bet you don't know what to get the wife!" is really impressive.

    They don't come right out and say "That bitch is nagging you again. This should shut her up". But it's implied.

  2. mike Says:

    yes. "This should shut up her bitching" is the perfect way to describe what those types of commericals are saying. It's the inverse of the female-targeted "your life has become hell you may ask well shake down that empty husk of a man for some goods" commericals you see, especially on ABC dramas.

    We should become advertisers.

  3. Samantha Says:

    My good friend Mark, age 35, single, good looking, a "playah," if you will, has given me the one good piece of advice I've gotten since my divorce: Remain unaffiliated between December 15th and February 15th at all costs.

  4. Liz Says:

    Mike, I am so confused, and in need of counsel.

    My sister, who is a 19-year-old fundamentalist Christian, is dating, no, I'm sorry, being courted by (she seriously insists upon this terminology) an 18-year-old high school senior who bought her a heart-shaped white gold and diamond necklace for Valentine's Day, earned with the wages of his job at Jimmy Johns.

    Why did I not get an emotionally void love token for this most special of holidays? I know that all of this is connected somehow. I asked Ed if I would get jewelry if I stopped having sex with him and started praying for him, and his answer was a resounding "no." I am puzzled. Perhaps he needs to get a job at Jimmy John's? Surely it cannot be that I should stop expecting wearable major human rights violations as symbols of Ed's everlasting devotion? What to do?

  5. erik Says:

    Liz- The answer is yes. Ed most certainly should get a job at Jimmy Johns.

  6. mike Says:

    That's funny Liz – I have just finished a 3-day marathon of ABC's hit-sitcom "According to Jim" to better advise our readers with common-sense solutions to relationship problems. Here's some advice:

    1) Stand in front of the television when "the game" is on. That always gets Jim to listen. Especially if his friends are over.
    2) Switch jobs for a day. Go work Ed's job as head of the construction business, and have him try and take care of the children while keeping up the suburban home. That'll make him appreciate you more and get you some fine jewerly (just don't expect an early dinner – Jim had to order take-out!).
    3) Mention an old flame who has gotten you jewerly. Jim is very territorial and will want to beat out your old flame in every potential contest.

  7. Joe Says:

    please, whatever you do, Liz… don't stop having sex with him. i'm not sure i could handle all the new ree-rah jokes he would come up with in the absence of sex.

  8. Ed Says:

    We don't have sex, so I don't know how it could be used as a weapon in our relationship. We express our love by rabbit-punching each other in the back of the head.

    Sometimes I express so much love that the cops end up getting involved.