Welcome back to work, Illinois and Wisconsin.
"But Ed," say the rest of our viewers, "today is Tuesday. Please lay off the pipe." With this comment you betray your non-midwestern heritage. Be not ashamed. Allow me to enlighten you.
The first Monday of March is, in select states, Kasimir Pulaski Day. On this day one does no work, nor does one attend school. It is a state holiday set aside for the express purpose of honoring with sausage the life of an important Revolutionary War icon.
In the 18th Century thin mustaches indicated masculinity. Today they indicate Frenchness.
Count Kasimir Pulaski was born near Warsaw in 1745 into Polish nobility. An ardent lover of freedom, he fought on the side of Poland, Lithuania, and other parts of the Slavic world in their war against the Russian Tsar. He maintained his revolutionary zeal and, at the conclusion of the Russian conflict, he emigrated to the American colonies to aid their fight against British tyranny.
Pulaski was the innovator of many cavalry tactics that remain in military use to this day. The title of the most brilliant cavalry strategist of all time is usually given to Nathan Bedford Forrest, but Forrest founded the KKK. Pulaski didn't. Advantage: polack.
After playing an important role in several Revolutionary War battles, often fighting alongside Washington, Pulaski was mortally wounded in Savannah, Georgia. He died shortly thereafter. Interestingly, his remains have never been conclusively accounted for. Various accounts have him buried at sea, cremated, interred in a Georgia plantation field, or returned to his native Poland.
Pour a Zywiec in honor of our homie (is Old Style more appropriate at this point?) proclaiming "This goes out to all my polaxxx." Others may think your behavior strange, but it is natural for people to criticize what they can never hope to understand.