You'll all be happy to note that after three weeks of intensive therapy, Ted Haggard is 100% not gay (image of email at Slate).
One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counselling for Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."…
"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."…
Haggard said in an e-mail Sunday, his first communication in three months to church members, that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology. The e-mail said the family hasn't decided where to move but that they were considering Missouri and Iowa.
Another oversight board member, Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.
"This is a good place for Ted," Ware said. "It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now.
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It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed.
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"
It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.
Thoughts:
1) I need to get me one of these Evangelical wives; if they are willing to follow a guy to Iowa after he spends a good part of their marriage binging on methamphetamines and gay hookers, they'll no doubt find my "weekends begin at 5pm Thursday" and general disorderliness downright charming.
2) I always wondered what goes on at these 'therapy' sessions. Wikipedia has a nice article about the matter, perhaps a bit too much of the (obvious) ethical problems about doing this to teenagers and not enough on the nuts-and-bolts.
(I wonder how much the entire thing is in complete bad faith, with Christian 'healers' working to keep a straight face while explaining to parents how they'll stop their kids from being gay before immediately laughing the $200/hr to the bank. "Ok kid, sit here for an hour; your parents won't kick you out of the house, and I get to buy a new car.
")
2.a) I knew of a friend of a friend who, after coming out to his family during college, started seeing a "Don't Be Gay" therapist arranged through his parents (he, for whatever reason, was trying to meet them halfway). He was also, concurrently, seeing a separate counselor who was helping him adjust to becoming a gay male. Before you start thinking how sad and counterproductive this situation is, think of these three words: "Zany Network Comedy.
" ("Sopranos" meets "Three's Company.") Anyone want to work on a pilot with me?
3) Man, did they run that guy's ass out of town. So much for healing and forgiveness. Hope you saved your money man. Good luck with your online degree.
