This is probably unethical, but such concerns are irrelevant when you are as burned out on grading as I am at the moment. The following is an actual answer from an undergraduate's final exam, which I am quoting verbatim. The question was to define an "externality":
"Externality is the outside side effect that going outside for help can be beneficial, like if we run out of pineapples we could go to another neighboring country + ask for their pineapples."
I need a drink and a shower. My soul hurts.
Jake says:
Mmmmm … pineapples …
Miss E says:
I like pineapples. Can I have some pineapples?
Mike says:
Pineapples are a public good.
Peggy says:
Now, I get shit like that all the damn time… but then again, I TEACH NINTH GRADE.
Two thumbs up for alcohol and showers: the things that make public education possible.
Matthew says:
Oh, that's hilarious. Sad, but still hilarious.
I had just run out of pineapples, in fact, but now I know what I can do … go to another country and ask for pineapples.
Awesome.
You can call me, 'Sir' says:
Ah, yes. Teaching Assistant hell. My first semester as a grad student in computer science I taught the CS101-Here's-How-Excel-Works class. Some of the personal issues and endless bouts of whining were truly olympian-esque, but then there was this one dude who stapled a CD with his assignment to the papers that were supposed to accompany it. I got in a little trouble because we were in the hallway and I said, rather loudly, "How the fuck did you do that?" Times like those are precious and really make one treasure the TA experience.
Griffin says:
Wow, that sentence was almost close…. if you leave out the cause-and-effect and fail to give it a meaningful example. But in his defense, I usually put + instead of an ampersand — although really, should anyone use an ampersand in a Final?