BJU

In a move that lands squarely between "pathetic" and "not fooling anyone," Rudy Giuliani made a stump speech and campaign appearance at Bob Jones University recently. Essentially the only thing I like about our electoral system is the chance it gives us to highlight and mock the shit out of Bob Jones University at regular intervals.

For instance, take a quick look at BJU's Wikipedia entry. I know what you're thinking: isn't a bit suspicious that a college would explicitly mention that it is accredited in the first paragraph? Maybe it's something all schools do. Let's check Michigan. OK, maybe Stanford? Yale? Appalachian State? No, none of these schools feel compelled to inform you in the first paragraph that they are accredited. This is because the reader would never even question the accreditation of any of these institutions. But apparently the folks at Bob Jones University understand that a person's first reaction to the school is very likely to be "Is this fuckin' place accredited?"

Rest assured, it is. It's accredited by something called the "Transnational Association of Christian Colleges and Schools." This group accredits "universities" that teach young earth creationism in lieu of, you know, science. I can only liken getting accreditation from these people to getting a character reference from a child rapist who steals cable. Among the powerhouse institutions that have received the TACCS stamp of approval are:

  • Apex School of Theology (Look at the fucking picture! And this is on their own website, meaning that this is the best picture they have )
  • Bakke Graduate University of Ministry (A school so good, it doesn't need a functioning website)
  • Hillsdale Free Will Baptist College
  • Christian Life College ("We look forward to helping you prepare for your calling in the Lord's work")
  • Institute for Creation Research ('Institute'…..'research'…..sounds so legitimate!)
  • Word of Life Bible College (the mailing address is a P.O. Box)

    You can peruse a whole list here (note Jerry Falwell's Liberty University and noted repository of socially-maladjusted homeschooled kids Patrick Henry College). Suffice it to say that an alarming number of these "schools" are in the Carolinas or Tennessee. But you already knew that without looking.

    When I began writing this entry, I thought that the thrill of condescending and mocking places like Tennessee Temple University would get old quickly. I also thought I'd feel a little bad about being an elitist when I finished. I was very wrong on both counts.