In a move that lands squarely between "pathetic" and "not fooling anyone," Rudy Giuliani made a stump speech and campaign appearance at Bob Jones University recently. Essentially the only thing I like about our electoral system is the chance it gives us to highlight and mock the shit out of Bob Jones University at regular intervals.

For instance, take a quick look at BJU's Wikipedia entry. I know what you're thinking: isn't a bit suspicious that a college would explicitly mention that it is accredited in the first paragraph? Maybe it's something all schools do. Let's check Michigan. OK, maybe Stanford? Yale? Appalachian State? No, none of these schools feel compelled to inform you in the first paragraph that they are accredited. This is because the reader would never even question the accreditation of any of these institutions. But apparently the folks at Bob Jones University understand that a person's first reaction to the school is very likely to be "Is this fuckin' place accredited?"

Rest assured, it is. It's accredited by something called the "Transnational Association of Christian Colleges and Schools." This group accredits "universities" that teach young earth creationism in lieu of, you know, science. I can only liken getting accreditation from these people to getting a character reference from a child rapist who steals cable. Among the powerhouse institutions that have received the TACCS stamp of approval are:

  • Apex School of Theology (Look at the fucking picture! And this is on their own website, meaning that this is the best picture they have )
  • Bakke Graduate University of Ministry (A school so good, it doesn't need a functioning website)
  • Hillsdale Free Will Baptist College
  • Christian Life College ("We look forward to helping you prepare for your calling in the Lord's work")
  • Institute for Creation Research ('Institute'…..'research'…..sounds so legitimate!)
  • Word of Life Bible College (the mailing address is a P.O. Box)

    You can peruse a whole list here (note Jerry Falwell's Liberty University and noted repository of socially-maladjusted homeschooled kids Patrick Henry College). Suffice it to say that an alarming number of these "schools" are in the Carolinas or Tennessee. But you already knew that without looking.

    When I began writing this entry, I thought that the thrill of condescending and mocking places like Tennessee Temple University would get old quickly. I also thought I'd feel a little bad about being an elitist when I finished. I was very wrong on both counts.

  • 3 thoughts on “BJU”

    • You know, if I were a young undergrad, I think I might want to check out one of these fine institutions, if only because a school devoted to teaching "Creative Design" has got have the easiest classes *ever*. "All right, everyone open your book to Chapter One: 'In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.' OK, class dismissed–Final's on Friday, be sure to bring a bluebook!" And am I the only one who thinks that the proprietors of the Apex School, given their anti-Darwinian stance, might have wanted to avoid the easy laugh granted by have the word "Ape" in their name?

    • One of my cousins is going to a school that isn't even accredited by those guys. Although they are *actually* accredited… for associate's degrees. Which is aparently the best you can do while REFUSING TO TEACH EVOLUTION.

      Luckily, her parents have offered her the option (after her first two years) of staying there for two more (pointless) years, or returning home for her last two years–probably at UNC.

      I assume you can guess which outcome my entire family is rooting for.

    • Since I actually attended Bob Jones University and Christian schools all my life, I can tell you the person that commented jokingly about Ch. 1 of a science book stating "In the beginning…", class dismissed and assigning a paper against evolution is all wrong. Bob Jones, Sr. was a big believer in the Gap Theory and I think I even had some secular Science books in Christian school. The term theistic evolutionist provides balance for those creation-evolutionist heated debates. People like the guy that left the comment really offend Christian scientists that believe in evolution. Also, most people know that Bob Jones was unaccredited (and most people thought they were snobs because they COULD have been accredited since the early 20th century), but a private school should not be told how to run their business by the government. I just wish other private institutions would have caught on – it is not a religious reason. As a matter of fact, after Bob Jones lost their tax exemption for not believing in interracial dating, they since lifted the ban and not for gaining that exemption back. They never planned to regain it and never will ask for it back. They don't purchase anything on credit and the teachers all wore the same clothes for YEARS – 15 years ago, I spent $5K a year in private out-of-state tuition! The Bible says to owe no man anything.

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