FAILURE TO RESPECT STALL BOUNDARIES

I feel like ass and I'm psyching myself up for another round of tests, leeches, and bleeding tomorrow. So for tonight all you get is detailed information to assist your mockery of Larry Craig.

This news item starts out as the garden variety, but be sure to scroll past the story to read the complete, unedited police report at the end. 50 bonus points for whipping out a Senate business card as an ID, Larry.

What is it with these closeted Republicans and public bathrooms? I mean, for Christ's sake, I can't think of too many places that would preclude erection quite as definitively as the Minneapolis International Airport men's room. Are they aware that there are, you know, gay bars? Not to mention many other ways to practice "indiscretion," some of which are quite private.

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4 Responses to “FAILURE TO RESPECT STALL BOUNDARIES”

  1. J. Dryden Says:

    Well, at least he didn't try the old excuse of "the guy was big and scary (and, if applicable, black), so I figured the easiest way to avoid having him attack me was to suggest that he's accept money for gay sex." Bob Allen is my new hero for that one, replacing Eddie Murphy for "I'm just a really nice guy so I was giving a totally random stranger who happens to be a transvestite hooker a ride home." I think the best Craig has come up with is, "Look, I have a really wide stance, so my foot kind of slipped." Come on, Larry, you can do better than *that*!

  2. Brandon Says:

    Poor guy. Didn't he realize that Spokane isn't too far from Boise? He could've hooked up with their former mayor, Jim West. But from what I remember, West liked the young ones.

  3. Peggy Says:

    Goodness. Up until this moment, I thought that Bob Allen and Larry Craig were the same Republican senator who had just gotten busted for soliciting sex.

    Maybe I should pay more attention. On the other hand, maybe it really doesn't matter exactly which tragically closeted Republican is getting charged with soliciting gay sex this week?

  4. David Recine Says:

    To be fair, the actual intent of Larry Craig's "signals" would have been almost impossible to prove in court. In fact, proving he was signaling *anything* would have been almost impossible to prove in court. If he had stood his ground and acted innocent and confused ("What's this about, officer? Is there a security alert in the airport? What can I do to help? Of COURSE I'll answer your questions."), he might have been able to avoid being charged with anything, and the police report could have stayed under the radar entirely.

    This is why plea-bargaining is the average police department's favorite thing in the world— it saves them the trouble of prosecuting, the potential embarrassment of prosecuting unsuccessfully, and it shunts anyone the police choose to mark as "suspects" into the criminal justice system regardless of whether they're actually criminals. Often, their original charge is also public record, not just the plea bargain.

    In a public statement, Craig said he should never have plea bargained, he should have fought the charges outright, and should have immediately gone public with his side of the story. He's right.

    There is a certain entertainment value to see the old plea-bargain trick— created to marginalize the poor and the dark– backfire on a wealthy white lawmaker.