Just remember, we are not cebrating Christmas at the moment. I've been reading the works of brilliant 21st Century logician and philosophe John Gibson, who rightly points out that "the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought." Left-wing America has declared War on Christmas.

Much like other socio-cultural "wars" such as the Wars on Poverty, Drugs, Illiteracy, and Terror, the War on Christmas has been phenomenally successful. Why, this year I could hardly find any mention of the former holiday. I actually forgot that it exists, so total has been the liberal victory over the Pagan-turned-Christian celebration.

Rather than wish you a Merry Christmas or happy holidays, I suppose that given this blog's demographic it would be more logical to offer you congratulations for so successfully destroying a once-major holiday. Excellent work, Comrades! Now let's get back to work so that we may be equally victorious over the Family and Freedom! Next time this year I expect to be seeing busts of Trotsky in every town square.


  • The wackiness of the notion of a War on Christmas has been explored (exploded?) elsewhere–and I don't want to distract you from your contemplation of the much-anticipated awarding of the G&T Cocksucker of the Year; I've got rent-money riding on this one. (Hint: Dog Fighting is very, very naughty.)

    That said, I've always been particularly dismayed by the failure of sensible people in the public eye to point out that the selling of "the War on Christmas" is mostly anti-Semitism couched in acceptable language, just as "anti-immigration" is racism thus half-disguised: "Liberals–always a code word for 'New York Jews'–want to take away our religion. Why, it's almost as if they want to deny Christ! (Psst! Get it???)" To defend something that isn't under attack is to target a convenient–and familiar–enemy; 'Defense of Marriage,' anyone?

    Why no one of importance has bothered to mention this aspect of America's Festive War, I don't know.

    Oh, well. Power to the proletariat, and let us grease the wheels of the tumbrels…

  • My favorite manifestation of the glorious War on Christmas is this season's ubiquitous "Merry Christmas … if I'm still allowed to say that."

    Seriously. Are religious conservatives so insecure in their religious convictions that they honestly need permission to express them? Or is their passive-aggressive sarcasm rooted more in the fact that the culture of freedom that allows them to choose any religious beliefs they want also allows other people to choose differing religious beliefs, and they're too solipsistic to live with that?

    Christmastards. All of 'em.

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