Perfection is a beautiful thing, and the northeastern US seems to be have had a run of it in 2007. They gave us the World Champion Red Sox, the 16-0 Patriots, and the most flawless 12 months of being a cocksucker ever turned in by a public figure. Congratulations, Joe Lieberman. You are the Tom Brady of being a duplicitous, self-important ass clown. It is rare, in the short history of this award, that a year's winner should be so clear-cut. But aside from a brief challenge from General Saint David Petraeus, it was Holy Joe all the way in 07.
Mr. Lieberman's intense hunger for Satan's cock was in no way confined to this calendar year, of course. His transition from mild irritant to full-blown asshole began with his primary defeat in 2006, an event that gave America the phenomenon known as Independent Democrat Joe Lieberman. Then, proving that God truy loathes America, the midterm elections made this condescending waste of flesh the deciding vote in an evenly-split Senate. Oh my, how Joe loved that. The Democratic leadership didn't simply have to put up with his continued presence – they had to suck up to him and bend to his every whim.
Lieberman's cloying, pedantic "bipartisanship" prattle goes a long way towards showing just how far to the right the axis of American political discourse has tilted. Like other "sensible" and "serious" "moderates" like David Brooks, Lieberman's message appears to be "I am a Democrat who just happens to agree with the far right on almost everything, and this proves that I am a better person because I'm so 'open minded' and unrestrained by ideology." Truly did Holy Joe use 2007 to put on a display of collaborationism that would make the Vichy regime – and perhaps even the eponymous Quisling himself – nauseous.
When he wasn't busy endorsing neocon Republican presidential candidates who are too far to the right for their own damn party, Joe was "busy" chairing the Senate Committee on Homeland Security. Since taking that post he has found it necessary to launch exactly zero investigations into the dozens of examples of ineptitude, omissions, and outright criminality of his pals in the White House. He's such a loyal bobblehead for the far right that Bill Kristol thinks he should be the GOP nominee for VP next year. Now that's an endorsement that every self-respecting "independent" and "Democrat" accepts with pride. When he wasn't busy bragging about how goddamn fabulous everything is going in Iraq he was rhetorically cheerleading for the next war of aggression in the Middle East. When he wasn't busy making sure the troops don't get a break between tours of duty in His war, he was attacking the leader of his own party for talking about withdrawl even in the abstract. He found time to host fund raisers for a vulnerable Republican Senator in the upcoming election, but no time to do any actual research about how His strategy is working in Iraq other than to call Petraeus' critics guilty of treason.
Joe Lieberman is what he is. He is the Senator from AIPAC, not Connecticut. He is a strident neoconservative, not an "independent." He is a Republican, not a Democrat. And he is a smug, ingratiating cocksucker, not a noble, above-the-fray Bipartisan. While the DNC is probably hoping that either Holy Joe falls off a tall ladder or that the Party's Senate lead increases enough to make him irrelevant, I see no problem in hoping for both.Tags: COTY