FINISH LINE

I finished my Ph.D. on Monday afternoon. I am signed, sealed, and delivered.

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It is now Dr. Ginandtacos to you.

As I have found the completion of this task both completely overwhelming and strangely unfulfilling, I can't lasso enough neurons and get them pointing in the same direction long enough to write anything coherent for Tuesday.
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We convince ourselves that our lives will change when we pass these kinds of mile markers, but tomorrow I wake up and go back to work (notwithstanding the intervening 10 hour drive back to Georgia). I did take a few hours Monday afternoon and evening to feel awesome.
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I'm glad I did. Now, back to the salt mines. The degree is only relevant inasmuch as it is a prerequisite for landing an academic job.

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When I finally pass that mile post (a real job, not the hey-we-need-someone-for-a-few-years kind) I might even pause to feel awesome about it for a whole day.

But probably not. I'm not really wired to do anything but choose and fret over progressively more unrealistic expectations for myself.

30 thoughts on “FINISH LINE”

  • The Undesirable Element says:

    Are you kidding me, sir? You can now legitimately rock a sweater vest, charmingly anachronistic hat, flowing locks of unkempt hair, and an unruly beard whenever you please. And if anyone gives you grief for any of it, you can just wave your hand dismissively and say, "Pshaw, my good man. I have a doctorate!"

    Alternatively, you can walk around saying, "My God! I'm a doctor, not a magician!" I've been wanting to say that in context for ages.

  • It *is* anticlimactic, isn't it? I remember walking my dissertation over to the research library, filling out the forms, watching it get certified, and then walking out thinking: "Huh. Should I, like, have a drink or go to the movies or…ah, screw, I gotta teach tomorrow." So it went. Still: as much as you *can* feel awesome, do. You've earned it. Grats.

  • Matthew Laird says:

    Well, done Ed! Your pipe and tweed jacket are in the mail. The leather elbow patches will arrive separately.

  • Congratulations, Doctor! Enjoy the fleeting moments of prestige (although your mother will cherish this forever, of course). You will now be expected to substitute scotch for your gin; how that will go with tacos, I hesitate to test.

  • Sincere congratulations on a meritorious achievement and since you can't get a positive perspective on it I'll do it for you.

    How utterly chuffed I am to witness the culmination of many years of self-discipline, relentless academic effort and bull-terrier-like persistence. If all Americans had 10% of the intellectual balls required for the challenging task that you set yourself and completed successfully, they wouldn't be the self-indulgent, arrogant, xenophobic, greedy, superstitious rabble that they are.

    Walk tall. bro. You've earned it.

  • Dr G&T. My man.

    Did the bastards grill you at the oral defense — or was it a cakewalk? I hope at least your advisor bought you a drink. Anyway, you should totally get shitfaced for a few days or so. (Forget teaching; tell'em you caught a bug on the way back or something; they'll be grateful for the canceled lectures). It may be your only chance to feel good about your achievement. As you seem to know already, in a week or so you'll go back to that nagging dread that a Ph.D is really just the beginning. These days, they don't even look at you on the market unless you can show a couple papers sent off for review. The fucks.

    So, yeah. Go get hammered. I'll raise a glass for you next time I open a bottle.

  • Congratulations, Doctor! You may feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied by any achievement, but think of how disappointed you'd feel if you hadn't done it. Down the road, you'll have a feeling of pleasure, and enjoy another layer of laurels upon which to rest. For now, keep swinging, and file our loud cheers for a rainy day. Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit.

  • Congratulations, Dr. Ginandtacos.

    I suspect that I would feel much the same as you do. I was expecting to feel a greater sense of accomplishment when I earned my Master's degree, but the fact didn't match the anticipation. I remember feeling very "Christmas afternoon."

    I've considered going for my Ph.D., as well, but have been advised by people whose opinion about such things I trust that, given what I want to do for a career (what I'm currently doing, in fact), a Ph.D. would be more of a hindrance than a door-opener. I'll be very interested to watch how your degree works for you!

  • Congrats, Ed! or Dr.GAT, I should say :) I have a lot of friends who finished their PhDs, I understand how much effort it takes, so enjoy the moment!

  • I feel you. I graduated with my BS in Computer Science last May after nine years of part-time work (working full time also). Since I graduated, nothing has changed. We have a hiring freeze, so no big raise (the dream that got me through all those years of homework).

    Worse, for the first time in my adult life I'm currently without some big project I'm struggling to finish every day. I feel oddly adrift, staring at "the rest of my life" without a clear idea of what I should be working toward.

    Not a very cheerful post, but just wanted you to know that I share some of your sentiments.

    Congratulations, by the way. :)

  • There isn't a hi-five or terrorist fist jab big enough for this accomplishment. I echo the congratulatory sentiments. It really is hard work and you, sir, deserve to get wasted on gin and sick off of all sorts of tacos.

    Cheers!

  • Schultzenhaben says:

    Congratulations, Dr. Ginandtacos! You are an inspiration to us all (especially to me, since I just started my PhD program this autumn). May you continue to inspire, teach, and improve the lives of those around you that your life may get better every day.

  • That feeling of dread that a Ph. D. is just the beginning, mentioned by an earlier poster? Oh, yeah — I second that emotion. However, there is often a slight yet statistically significant increase in respect from students, especially if you are young or even just young-looking, as I was. I was a little mystified by this since I was the same person and teacher I had been the previous semester, but hey, i was willing to accept it.

  • Seriously, if you managed to get out without the mandatory: 1) divorce or breakup with long time GF, 2) severe depression, needing medication, and 3) hating everyone in your department, you have done extremely well for yourself. Heck, I know many who would consider only 1 out of 3 to be a successful Phd. The only ones who got the brunt of your wrath seemed to be your students and we all know these little fucks deserve it.

    Congrats Dr. GAT.

  • A few years ago, I told my grandmother, who asked what I was doing with my life, that I was working to become a doctor. 'Of people?,' she asked, hopefully. She was very reluctant to believe that there can be doctors of anything else. (Doctors of cats and dogs were really just veterinarians to her.)

  • Congrats.

    I considered mine "done" after the defense, and went out and had a party. The rest was just paperwork.

    Not sure what having the D. would do for me–like the bear, I just had to get over that mountain–therefore not terribly disappointed when all that changed was that I did, indeed, see what was on the other side.

    What do you mean, "for a couple of years"?? I thought you were tenure-track. Major bummage.

  • Congrats!

    My brain was so tired when I finally got my PhD that I really didn't know what to feel. But I did celebrate. I got hammered when I passed the defense. I got hammered when I turned in the final copy to the grad division. And I got hammered once more when I picked up my diploma at the office of records!

    Now, even though I continue to plod along the adjunct treadmill to oblivion, the world has to call me "doctor."

  • Congratulations, kid! I remember the Monday I finished my doctorate. It felt very grown up to go back to work the next day. Enjoy the normalcy.

  • "I’m not really wired to do anything but choose and fret over progressively more unrealistic expectations for myself."

    That's an exact description of my thought processes too. Well put. But I guess that's why your the doctor AND a blogger. You have that ability to turn a seemingly abstract/complex group of thoughts into condensed soup versions of their former selves and thereby cheapening the whole "big picture" idea of the entire thing. Thanks, asshole.

    I kid.

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