All times Eastern Standard. All exit polls bullshit.

7:01 – Kentucky polls closed 38 seconds ago and CNN calls KY for Rand Paul. They must have a high level of confidence in their inside information…

7:06 – The changing face of voting. CNN's story "Light turnout in Nevada" barely notes that 400,000 people voted early. 400,000!

7:18 – I am starting to realize how likely it is for that Nevada Senate race to be resolved 8 weeks from now in a courtroom, and Sharron Angle is already starting to fling idiotic lawsuits around.

7:32 – Charlie Crist is not putting up much of a fight in Florida, which I find somewhat surprising. Holy God is CNN's panel of "experts" lousy with retards.

8:10 – I like how CNN and NBC have reporters at Christine O'Donnell HQ. The race isn't competitive, but they want someone there on the expectation that some seriously crazy shit will go down.

8:22 – Let's not get ahead of ourselves, but in a desperate search for good news tonight it looks like Joe Manchin is running strong in WV.

8:39 – With Manchin and Blumenthal winning WV and CT, it is almost mathematically impossible for the GOP to take the Senate. It's just not plausible.

9:07 – Rand Paul just promised a balanced budget. I've met some fucking idiots, and if I meet Rand Paul I will know one more. His crowd is chanting "END THE FED!"

9:08 – Rand described the evening as a "Tea Party tidal wave." Meanwhile, Mark Kirk and Pat Toomey are getting cornholed in the early returns.

9:19 – I'm shocked at how uncompetitive that IL Senate race is, although it is worth noting that the early returns include part of Cook County.

9:33 – Marco Rubio isn't even saying anything. He's just throwing random words at the camera, and he actually said "Older people were once my age."

10:13 – It is impossible for me to listen to Jim DeMint without asking "Is this guy fucking serious? I mean, is this a real person or some sort of performance artist?"

10:23 – Turnout is shaping up to be absolutely pathetic. The pooled exit polls indicate that almost a full quarter (24%) of the voters nationwide were over 65. Wow.

10:38 – I'll tell you one thing, these IL and PA Senate races are going to be up in the air for weeks while recounts and absentee ballots fly.

11:15 – The level of election analysis on the news says more about the trouble we're in than the election outcomes tonight.

11:32 – Rossi is up 4% in Washington but they haven't reported a single precinct from King County yet. I think they're just about to write off Sestak in PA. I figured Toomey would win, although we're guaranteed to see some hot recount and courtroom action in that one.

11:58 – With CA (and CO soon, I think) it's no longer possible to lose the Senate. Frankly it doesn't make much difference in terms of outcomes – 52 isn't much better than 48 in a chamber that now requires 60 for everything – but it does keep the leadership.

12:12 AM – On the plus side, Sharron Angle isn't going anywhere.

12:26 AM – CNN is shocked that a state that elected Rick Santorum would elect someone as conservative as Pat Toomey.

12:39 AM – I like how Sharron Angle is psychotic and had no real chance to win but the media played it up like a competitive race for months because lunatics deliver good ratings.

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  1. HoosierPoli Says:

    To be fair, in any given year calling KY for the Republican is a pretty good bet.

  2. Ed Says:

    Oh, I agree with the call. I'm just surprised that they didn't drag it out a little.

  3. David Says:

    What do you see as the key bell-weathers in IN and KY. As a former Hoosier, I'm keeping an eye on Baron Hill. Secondly there appears to be significant problems with voter accommodation in CT, IL, and GA – 2 hour waits beyond the close of polls. I know that Dems tend to vote early but the problems appear to be in African American areas (IL – West Side and South Side, GA – Paulding, and CT – Black people don't live in CT). Thoughts?

  4. Nunya Says:

    Time to bring on the dick jokes.

  5. 16shellsfroma30aught6 Says:

    KY for Rand Paul

    Is there a dick joke in there?

  6. marismae Says:

    As long as you're in line before the polls close, don't they have to let you vote? Assuming you're eligible, which I'm sure the "Voter Integrity Squads" Mark Kirk sent to the South Side in Chicago, IL are eager to prove. :P Har.

  7. 16shellsfroma30aught6 Says:

    If this goes as expected I might make empty threats about moving to Canada. Empty only because I can't afford to do so in reality.

  8. Ed Says:

    From my experience living in that IN-9 district with Hill, the early results are not a great indicator because Bloomington is usually the last place counted (and Hill will pull 80% there). But there's no doubt that the race does not look good for him right now.

  9. HoosierPoli Says:

    Yeah, good call on IN-9, that's my hometown. But I still get the feeling the Martinsville crowd (proud home of the KKK) will swing this one. He's lost before to a TRUCKER.

  10. Fifth Dentist Says:

    Welcome to the best government money can buy.
    Knowing how much the teabaggers hate the lazy, I wish now that I had gotten into the organization as a mole and suggested they adopt the slogan "Freedom Through Work."
    They never would have recognized the association.

  11. HoosierPoli Says:

    Also, CNN is ALWAYS lousy with retards. It's basically their founding principle.

  12. Entomologista Says:

    I'm not even watching election shit tonight. I am playing Fallout: New Vegas and reading the live blogging here and at Pandagon. I don't need to listen to the confederacy of dunces that is the TV punditry.

  13. Hawes Says:

    NY Times seem to have Yarmuth winning, so that's something.

  14. grendelkhan Says:

    David: CT

  15. grendelkhan Says:

    David: CT: Black people don't live in CT

    The roughly eleven percent of Connecticut that's black would dispute that, as would, specifically, the thirty to forty percent of Bridgeport, Hartford, New Haven, etc., which is black.

    It's hardly Mississippi, but just because all the money lives in the western bit with the white people, that doesn't mean everyone else does too.

  16. Bobby flashpants Says:

    Traffic around Atlanta was particularly awful this evening. While not unusual in and of itself, I suspect it was an orchestrated senior citizen slowdown to keep people from voting after work. Or, you know, not. It's lonely being a liberal 500 yards from Lockheed Martin.

  17. The Mad Dreamer Says:

    If Angle wants to allege voter intimidation, perhaps she could also sue Latinos 4 Reform.

    Yes, that is real.

  18. anotherbozo Says:

    Media darling O'Donnell is going to have her own FOX show, just wait. Or maybe one on National Geographic.

  19. Scott Says:

    Joe Manchin's victory doesn't do anything to help the Democrats. I would bet he ends up voting with the Republicans more often.

  20. Ed Says:

    Joe Manchin sits on the left side of the aisle and keeps them in the majority without having to suck Lieberman's dick.

  21. grendelkhan Says:

    Now, now, Ed. I'm sure they'll gobble the Lieberknob regardless.

  22. Zeb Says:

    Fox News is already spinning the Manchin win as a sort of pseudo-Republican win, since he'll be up for election again in 2012 and thus 'forced' to vote with Republicans.

    Oh, the Spin Machine is going to be on overload tonight…

  23. Scott Says:

    He sits on the left side of the aisle, just like Blanche Lincoln and Evan Bayh. The Democratic leadership is going to have to suck Lieberman and Manchin's dick just to hold their ground.

  24. Andy Brown Says:

    Nights like this I thank the flying spaghetti monster that I don't have a television. I think having one would make me secede from this country.

  25. John Says:

    Seeing Angle throwing out anti-election litigation is unsurprising, but hilarious. Guess she didn't have the balls for those "second amendment remedies" after all, and is resorting to lawyers.

  26. Ed Says:

    Manchin will be about as useful as tits on a bull in the Senate, but for the purposes of holding the leadership positions he is useful. If you'd rather he switch sides so that we can salute Majority Leader McConnell, I respectfully disagree.

    Frankly that any Democrat could win WV in this political environment is a miracle and I'm not about to look the gift horse in the mouth.

  27. Nunya Says:

    Rand Paul is both a Dick and a Joke. We're all going to have to rely on KY to ease the next two years of painful sodomy.

    Hats off for Grayson… That man as lest had guts. Too bad he had to live in the bug and scared old people capital of America.

    Anyone else ever notice that Florida is also shaped like a dick?

  28. Monkey Business Says:

    Ellsworth didn't stand a chance in Indiana. Bayh got in because of his father. Unless you're a DINO and the GOP is running a complete idiot, there's no way you can win. For as blue as the Region, Indy and Btown are, the rest of the state is the kind of Red that makes Texas go "Hey, you guys are REALLY conservative.".

    That being said, at least the Dems will hold the Senate. And Rand Paul will be really useful in 2012 when the Dems get to tie all the crazy ass bullshit he's sure to start spouting any minute now to every member of the GOP. Then again, they haven't been able to do that with Bachmann yet, so who knows.

    I don't think there's a political organization that handles success worse than the Dems do.

  29. ladiesbane Says:

    Rand Paul talks like a Party leader who is prepared to make the transition from USSR to plutocracy without a hitch. I fully expect him to recommend devaluing the dollar, sticking China with our worthless paper, and returning to the gold standard. Kentucky apparently can't do math with its socks on. I hope they enjoy living by the credo, "Fuck You, I Got Mine."

  30. Da Moose Says:

    Question: Why do the Democrats want to govern a country filled with idiots anyway? Half of the new senators probably couldn't find DC on a map. Onward and downward.

  31. Jeremy Says:

    Marco Rubio is 4'11 standing on phone books…

  32. Scott Says:

    Sure, I'm glad the Dems can count Manchin among their numbers for leadership purposes. On the other hand, it was Democrats like Manchin that prevented the Democrats from getting anything passed even when they had a 60 vote majority.

    I am all for finding the silver lining and not looking gift horses in the mouth, but there is very little to be optimistic about right now.

  33. Mike Says:

    Is that true About chanting End the Fed?

  34. Ed Says:

    100% true. Both for Scott and Mike.

    Mike, watch the video. End the Fed.

  35. anotherbozo Says:

    @Da Moose: because it's govern or be governed, ie, misgoverned. Unless you move somewhere else, you're going to be affected by the idiocy.

  36. Nunya Says:

    Finally, Christine O'Donnell can go home and rub one out.

  37. Brandon Says:

    You might have been a bit premature on the Illinois race, it looks like it has tightened considerably.

  38. Ed Says:

    I noted that they already counted part of Cook, and that's basically the only county he will win. The question is if he won it by enough to hang on when he loses the rest of the state.

  39. Amanda Says:

    Michelle Bachmann is FUCKING CRAZY. Watching Chris Matthews question her was hil-AR-ious.

  40. A.B.A.B.D. Says:

    Are they not showing a full body shot of Eric Cantor on MSNBC so we don't get to see him wacking himself off?

  41. Erik Says:

    ladiesbane is right.

    Rand is personified.

    I'd say get yer popcorn, if it weren't so obscene.

  42. Brandon Says:

    Wow, you're right, Cook County might be the only one he wins. I see like two other blue counties, both tiny ones, in the southwest corner of the state. Even the bigger cities like Peoria and Rockford are heavily red. I see Champaign County hasn't reported yet, although that's traditionally not an overwhelmingly blue county.

  43. poopmonster Says:

    uhm, this is Manchin, by the way, guys:

  44. ts46064 Says:

    Up in the air for weeks? It could be for months.
    Coleman/Franken was in the courts for close to 8 months. It will be interesting.

  45. J. Dryden Says:

    With regard to your post about voter turnout being pathetic, I walked into an empty polling place to vote (it was *huge*, and I was the only one there, mid-day), joked around with the *incredibly* nice and funny volunteers, and asked in leaving if they'd been busy today. Dear people, they laughed again and gave slow shakes of their heads. I fucking hate this country today–a tidal wave of Teapartiers would be preferable, if only so I/we could shrug and say, "Well, when that's what the majority wants…" How *dare* we tell Iraqis to risk injury/death to vote when we can't be bothered to do so ourselves under the most safe/convenient of circumstances? We suck.

  46. HoosierPoli Says:

    By the way, Dick Armey deserves some sort of medal for the miracle of a rebranding job he gave the Republican party. This is better than Phillip Morris becoming Altria. "Republican" is still a toxic word in politics, so they started using "Tea Party" and in a year and a half of some well-placed lies delivered a dead-and-buried party back to dominance.

  47. nate Says:

    Yeah, well, at least they had different tribes. We only have one– Wall Street.

  48. samantha b. Says:

    we lost russ feingold.

  49. ts46064 Says:

    Get ready for 2 years of nothing happening.

  50. nate Says:

    Feingold hurts worse than anything. He was practically the one honest man in our government.

  51. Zeb Says:

    Ditto on Feingold. He was one of the few senators for whom I still had respect.

  52. HoosierPoli Says:

    "Get ready for 2 years of nothing happening."

    I think we're used to it at this point.

  53. Nunya Says:

    Suck it, Dino Rossi! You're going down!

  54. Scott Says:

    At least we've still got Al Franken. As long as there's one northern Midwestern Democrat in the Senate, all is not lost.

  55. ts46064 Says:


  56. svnski Says:

    As much as I'm enjoying the commentary and conversation, where's your flashy maps and graphs and pictures, dammit?? You call this an election analysis? BAH!

  57. Radical Scientist Says:

    Ohhh, it looks like Alan Grayson is toast. Now who will the Democrats get to make youtube-worthy angry rants on CSPAN?

  58. Scott Says:

    Holding onto the Senate leadership probably means that nothing happens to the small amount of progressive change that's taken place over the past two years. It also means that nothing else will happen over the next two years with a divided Congress.

    But, if this trend continues in 2012, that's when I'm going to consider Canada. Seriously.

  59. Nunya Says:

    I'll bet Canada starts to build a border fence to keep THEIR southern neighbors out before 2012.

  60. Scott Says:

    Well, if highly educated progressive types move to Canada, that can only help their economy and education systems. Also, if a significant number of people leave the US, the government won't have to fix the crumbling infrastructure for a while longer, which means the Tea Party can funnel that money into fighter jets for our heroes.

    It's a win-win.

  61. Ed Says:

    Miniature American flags for some, abortions for others.

  62. Liz Says:

    Update from Ed's spouse: Ed is going to bed and for some reason neglected to tell you all. Enjoy the last of the returns!

  63. Nunya Says:

    My home state of California has done me proud.

    Keith Olberman had a great quote "I guess the buy it now button on eBay doesn't always work."


  64. Nunya Says:

    Goodnight Ed. Goognight Liz. God night Jim Bob.

  65. 16shellsfroma30aught6 Says:

    It's kind of too bad that Angle's going to lose. We just elected a bunch of clowns that couldn't find their asses with both hands; why couldn't we at least have the hilarious one? What would one more have hurt?

  66. Ben Says:

    I am shocked that no one is discussing the MAJOR victory tonight: Oklahoma is now officially safe from Sharia law.

    This prop may be the biggest waste of time and money on any ballot this year.

  67. Radical Scientist Says:

    We'll still have Bachmann and now Rand Paul to deliver quality entertainment.

  68. Zeb Says:

    @Ben– Arizona has a referendum to make hunting and fishing rights under the state constitution. THAT is the most wasteful measure in this election.

    Sadly, my beloved California disappointed me on Prop 19. I was really hoping for a big shake-up in the War on Drugs…

  69. John Says:

    @Ben: Really? Seriously? I mean… it's one thing for crazies to talk about it. But to have the paranoia make it all the way to the ballot, and then *pass* on a *majority vote*?

    Fuck's sake. I say we nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

  70. Radical Scientist Says:

    Wow, the first round of returns from Alaska look like their election hinges on how many Alaskans can spell 'Murkowski.'

    And Feingold's not conceding.

    This should be interesting.

  71. Xynzee Says:

    I guess you could say the media's angle was skewed.

  72. Hawes Says:

    PA and IL hurt. Not because it necessarily matters in terms of getting anything through Congress for the next two years. Hint: We won't.

    But it hurts because we have to wait 6 years to vote these asshats out. We could flip the House in 2012, but we have to wait until 2016 to get rid of Pat Toomey.

    Trust me. I live in Connecticut with Joe Lieberman,

  73. keith Says:

    Evan Bayh is screaming to be FJM'd. You're the only one who can do it justice:

    According to Rachel Maddow, Bayh didn't lift a finger (or spend any of his campaign cash) to help democrats, yet has the audacity to write this piece of shit op ed.

  74. jjack Says:

    The Democratic party just purged half of it's right wing.

    The GOP now finds itself in the impossible position of making good on its already-impossible claims with control of the lower chamber of congress, while the opposition controls the Senate and the Presidency.

    The left has two years to put the shoe on the other foot and ruthlessly point out the right's failures.

    There's your silver lining.

  75. 1st timer Says:

    Did anybody else find watching an obviously drunk Chris Matthews yell over everybody else annoying? It got so bad I changed back over to the retards on CNN.

  76. bb in GA Says:

    9:33 – Marco Rubio isn't even saying anything. He's just throwing random words at the camera, and he actually said "Older people were once my age."

    Context is everything –

    "When you're young and in a hurry, the meaning of those moments escape you, but as the years go by and as my own children get older, I understand it now. I realize that my parents were once my age, that they once had dreams — that there were some things that they once wanted to accomplish. But because of where they were born, because of who they were born to, because they lost their country, their dreams never had a chance. So they came here to America and went to work and it became the mission of their lives to give us the chance to do everything that they could not."

    Shows you how retarded I am. Those random words resonate with me…


  77. bpasinko Says:

    Is it just me or did the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan become non-issues?

    In 2008 the right pushed hard that Obama couldn't handle it, now I hardly hear a peep about it in terms of elections. I guess the Tea Party can't really claim they have the experience since they're (supposedly) running on getting rid of Washington insiders, who in theory have said experience.

    @1st timer: He was making awful jokes talking over everyone, awful. I switched to CNN but then got a headache. In what world is it a good idea to have 12 people sitting at 2 desks? I then switched to FoxNews before falling asleep. I then had nightmares.

  78. marismae Says:

    I think the most disappointing for me was losing Russ Feingold. I mean, RON JOHNSON beat him. If anyone watched that interview he had with Rachel Maddow, you would just have to boggle because the dude is totally out there. And yet, he beat -Russ Feingold-. There was a guy with progressive principles, and he lost to a total douchebag.

    In IL on the other hand, we had a choice between a giant douche and a turd sandwich (Yay Southpark!). Voting for the giant douche (ie – Giannoulias) was slightly more palatable, and I really wanted a Democratic candidate to have the seat. But, both of them made me sigh.