I'm going to keep it short today on account of the copious incoming traffic chewing on Monday's and Tuesday's posts.
buy antabuse online buy antabuse no prescription

But we have enough time to indulge in a fun hypothetical.
buy lipitor online buy lipitor no prescription

Let's say that through a combination of fund-raising prowess, ideological militancy, and personal charisma, Jesse Jackson Sr. is able to assume a position of considerable behind-the-scenes power in the Democratic Party. His sway over elected Democrats is such that he manages to get 95% of the Democratic Congressional delegation, House and Senate, to sign an oath of personal loyalty to his policy goals. Specifically, they pledge that under no circumstances will they ever support cuts in Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and other social welfare programs. Jackson believes that any such cuts will affect the poor and people of color disproportionately.

Throughout the debate over the budget and debt ceiling, House and Senate Democrats refuse to even consider any proposal that touches any of those programs. It is a non-starter. Full stop. Because they swore an oath to Jesse Jackson that they wouldn't.

I'm sure you can see through this thin shoe-on-the-other-partisan-foot analogy to Grover Norquist's "Taxpayer Protection Pledge" that currently holds sway over the GOP. I do think it's interesting to draw out the hypothetical scenario, though, to underscore a point: Can you even imagine the sheer violence of the pant-shitting that the GOP, Teatards, and Beltway media would be engaged in if the shoe really was on the other foot? If every Democrat had signed a personal oath to an interest group and private citizen that took precedence over their oath to the American people and Constitution?

When I was about 6 months old I had such horrible diarrhea one day that my mother gave up constantly diapering and re-diapering me, instead opting simply to put me in the bathtub and rinse me down at intervals until my troubles passed. This is what I imagine we would have to do with the Tea Party and House GOP – find a derelict stadium (is RFK Stadium still standing?), cover its interior with industrial strength plastic sheeting, herd them all inside to explosively shit themselves until they could pant-shit no more, and then turn the fire hoses on them.

I really don't think some of them could survive Democrats signing loyalty pledges to Jesse Jackson. Sean Hannity's pants would disintegrate under the sheer force of the onslaught, and Eric Cantor would suffer some kind of explosive decompression, rupturing into several pieces and spraying hundreds of yards in all directions like a mighty shit geyser.

46 thoughts on “VESUVIUS”

  • "find a derelict stadium (is RFK Stadium still standing?), cover its interior with industrial strength plastic sheeting, herd them all inside to explosively shit themselves until they could pant-shit no more, and then turn the fire hoses on them."

    I am LOL'ing.

    Of course, they'd call it "Freedom Pooping."

  • More fun than outlining the similarities between "Mutant-hyper-Reaganism", as excreted,oops, expressed by extreme "Free" market fans, and satanism.

  • c u n d gulag says:

    It would be the mother of all shit storms.
    A veritable BigShit Bang!
    We would be surrounded by the Shitlantic and Pashitic Oceans, and the Gulf of Mexshitco.

  • Because there were teabaggers. Real teabaggers. And there were thousands. This isn't some kind of metaphor, goddamn, this shit is real.

  • Middle Seaman says:

    Repeating ABK, this shit is real and current. The Jackson role is actually redundant. It would have been nice if we had a Democratic Party and, to quote my son, a president.

    The ubiquity of shit, makes most readers of G&T to shit of joy, doesn't obscure that fact that the Hannities and the bad-tea bags work for about 5% of the population while SS and Medicare is the destiny of us ninety fivers.

  • Well, this simple, educational story is sure to undo the trend of massive readership.
    You know, by being simple. And educational. People hate that shit.

  • Since we are discussing a fantasy land, like Lilliput, let's try to imagine a world in which a single politician, of the many hundreds who signed that pledge, is willing to stand up and revoke it.

    It's an easy out, too, since the ATR stresses that the pledge is made to the constituents. Don't you think it's in the constituents' best interest to have Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, roads, meat inspection, drug quality control? The constituents might!

    The Right beats the Left so often, in part, because they believe in closing ranks and falling into line, and is not inclusive of difference. On good days, this gives them a great power bloc to accomplish what they want. On bad days, it gives a pissant like Grover Norquist the reins to that power, and shows the individuals in that bloc to be spineless puppets.

    One reason I consistently choose the Left over the Right is that I prefer a government that can't get anything done, due to individual differences, to a government that does way too much of the wrong thing, by following the party line.

  • Elder Futhark says:

    A quick back-of-the-napkin physical calculation indicates that Sean Hannity's anus would spontaneously combust from the friction associated with the force of the liquid shit emanating from his puckered old butthole. Considering his butthole flexing exercises which make his sphincter so tight it almost flickers, this is akin to the irresistible-force -meets-immovable-object scenario.

    In fact, water molecules within the matrix of a Hannity faex would dissociate and the oxygen combine with the carbon of his intestinal linings, resulting in something akin to the old time celluloid nitrate film fires that took out silent movie theatres.

  • Because I'm not from around here – who exactly IS Grover Norquist, and why do people think he's so important?

  • Elder Futhark says:

    Dear kathy k.,

    Grover Norquist is, in the youth jargon of today, a fuckface.


    Uncle Elder

  • @ Kathy K. – read Ed's post, substitute Norquist's name for Jackson's, substitute "no new taxes, no raised taxes, no taxes even if the country is turning into Greece!" for anything about protecting entitlements, and you'll get a sense of who Norquist is. Or you can just go here:

    How can anyone vote for a person who signs away part of their authority as an elected official is what I'd like to know?

    Anyway, thanks Ed for the visual! Awesome!

  • c u n d gulag says:

    kathy k.
    Grover 'Norquisling' Norquist is the 'fuckface' Conservative who hates social safety net programs and wants to end them, but who, if he can't succeed, in a few year will be the first in line to cash his SS check when he's eligible, and have Medicare pay for the treatment for the irritation on his butt cheecks from having Conservative political assholes kissing and slobbering over them for 30+ years.
    His mother probably wishes Roe v. Wade was passed a good 20 years earlier, so her loins didn't still carry the taint of having birthed him.

    And that, kathy k., is Norquisling.

  • Rick Massimo says:

    I've been saying this for years, but I never put a name on the equivalent to Norquist. This is perfect.

  • Hairless in Gaza says:

    Yes, Ed, RFK *is* still standing. In fact, the mighty Anacostia River flows just past it on its majestic journey to the Blue Plains Advanced Water Treatment Plant (said journey being known locally as "the Brown Line").

    Things in the Dee of Cee being what they are, I doubt the good folks downstream at Oxon Hill would notice a difference. Tourists riding the Metro's Orange Line, however, might be overcome.

  • OneMadClown says:

    Hey Ed, completely OT but I just noticed your name and info as well as ts's removed from Instaputz – what happened? Just curious, as Instaputz was how I discovered G&T, and the site was never better than when all 3 of you were posting.

  • Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

    I have a new blog that you're going to want to read: !! It covers everything about ShitForLess related stuff.

    Come and check it out if you get time :-)

  • As much as I enjoyed the imagery of the last two paragraphs, I would have been able to share this piece with far more people had you left that part off.

    Unless your intent was to slow down traffic for the day (as you alluded to in the first paragraph), in which case well played, sir!

  • We who regularly attend soccer games at RFK would really prefer that nothing be done to artificially enhance the stench, thanks.

  • There would probably be even more panic if some prosecuter went after them for their criminal activities.

  • BTW Ed, you were pretty confident in a previous post that the GOP would never anger their corporate paymasters by allowing the Fed to default.

    Still feeling 100% certain about that?

  • Best. Thing. Ever. What a visual. Now…this absolutely should happen at Reliant Statdium in Texas, in conjuction with Rick (Hairy) Perry's upcoming Pray and Fast event. It would be an ever-so-fitting match up!

  • Amusing conjunction indeed, Skippy. Would make for one of those careful-what-you-wish-for moral lessons: a prayer for rain answered with a shitstorm.

  • Riot Points may unlock rune pages, champions along with various boosts (experience and influence points).
    On the other hand, Riot Points are not able to become
    spent about runes. Riot Points can certainly always be earned to get free via numerous routines (such as mentioning buddies to League of Legends).

    The actual League of Legends Store makes it possible for Summoners to help invest in additional choices by way
    of Riot Points (RP) along with Influence Points (IP).
    Riot Points must be acquired utilizing real capital,
    while Influence Points tend to be received by participating in the activity.

    Champs must end up being revealed using Riot Points
    or Influence Points prior to these people may be enjoyed.
    On the other hand, there are usually a number of no cost champions obtainable to enjoy
    every 1 week to help supply summoners the option to tryout champions prior to obtaining these people.
    Presently there tend to be many champion sorts readily available like assassin, bruisers, supports, casters, junglers plus tanks.

    Related to masteries, runes have an effect on game play in insignificant techniques.

    Runes are generally sorted straight into Marks (offensive),
    Seals (sheltering), Glyphs (miraculous) and Quintessences (application).
    Runes must be unlocked inside typically the Retailer and them is definitely achievable that will have got much more when
    compared with one particular duplicate regarding a rune. Summoners should arrange their very own runes with the
    exact Runebook towards help through all of them.

    Typically the Runebook includes limited number of slots for each rune type,
    but more rune pages can be purchased from possibly Influence Points or
    Riot Points. Blending two equal-tier runes provides a unique rune regarding the very
    exact same tier, while blending 5 equal-tier runes produces
    a higher-tier rune.
    Presently there usually are in addition quite a few online games just like League of Legends in
    the event anyone are usually attracted throughout hoping a
    unique MOBA experience. If perhaps people like in order to learn far more concerning precisely how to be able to attain Riot Points for League
    of Legends in that case pay a visit to, how to get free Riot Points
    for League of Legends.

Comments are closed.