EVERYONE LOOK SURPRISED

When I first moved to the middle of Illinois in August I told myself that it might not be terribly appealing but at least I would live near my sister (with her three adorable children) and my best friend (in my old grad school town). Then they both moved as far away as possible, on opposite coasts. You know, in the parts of the country that aren't awful and sad. Anyway, the most adorable members of my family tree are leaving for Portland, OR on Friday, which has kept me inordinately busy with box-packing and child-hugging. And then there was also the crucial matter of hockey-watching on Wednesday evening. Hawks win! Hawks win!

I'm serious. They won that game twice.

Here is a neat little video mashup you can forward to your right-wing friends the next time they try to tell you that Fox News is a real news network. Tesla Motors, maker of electric cars, has been a Murdoch Corp whipping boy for several years, due in large part to the government loan they received. Then the company repaid the loan and its stock shot through the roof after its first major product appeared to be a sales success. This video compiles all of the "before" clips harping on Tesla for sucking the taxpayers' teat while hawking a product that won't work, and follows with "after" clips in which Fox anchors mysteriously forget the whole "government loan" angle while talking about the company's apparent success.

Fox News has gone from something that I couldn't bear to watch to a craving that I develop if I miss it for more than a few days. It's hard to put into words the number of levels on which I enjoy this horseshit. They're not even trying to act like a real news network, and yet the majority of their viewers think they are one.

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52 Responses to “EVERYONE LOOK SURPRISED”

  1. Heywood J. Says:

    That's the beauty of it — they don't need to try. They have an intellectually captive market, the sort of folks who have to call their grandkids (who can't stand them) over to make the VCR stop blinking 12:00, and to peel their shredded Matlock tape out of the machine.

    Rush Limbaugh set the modern template for them, the idea that if you convince your mouthbreathing audience that everyone else is lying to them, you can say whatever you want.

  2. J. Dryden Says:

    Has anyone in this country ever gone broke telling stupid people how smart they are–telling lazy people how much integrity they have–telling poor people they would surely be rich if it wasn't for someone else's perfidy–telling old people that the young have it easy–telling white people that their racism is justified–telling Christians that they are brave warriors in a world that seeks to destroy them? Surely not. Fox News is what happens when journalism becomes a for-profit enterprise. I can't really blame them for doing what's A. legal and B. enormously profitable–hell, if you're part of the conservative power structure, you'd be wildly irresponsible *not* to support Fox News.

    Evil? Well, sure. But the cost of the First Amendment is the loud voices of the wicked and the ignorant in our ears. And the fact that there are people stupid enough to fall for it is a symptom of a larger disease. Fox News is to news what Orson Welles's "War of the Worlds" broadcast was to ignoramuses–the fact that people watch it and think its real is a testament to the shameless hucksterism of the performers and the stupidity of the audience–but really, it's the latter that worries me. I'm not offended–ever–by Fox News. I am offended–always–by the people who watch and believe and regurgitate Fox News.

  3. Dr. Mac Says:

    Way cool! My son lives in Portland! He's in a band named Black Pussy, a "stoner rock" band he tells me. I'm sure that the band could drop buy your sister's house and help them adjust to P-Town. Just be sure to invest in plenty of pairs of those-ass skinny jeans, you know, the kind that make you look like a third-world cancer victim. BTW, Black Pussy is best buds with Red Fang, goddamit.

  4. Dr. Mac Says:

    My bad: skinny-ass

  5. sage Says:

    When I first moved to the middle of Illinois in August…
    UIUC or bust, amirite?

  6. Buckyblue Says:

    Portland, the Seattle of the 1970's before it, Seattle,got Californicated. Hope she likes microbeer because Portland drinks more of it than anyone else. I'm assuming she drinks because, hey, she's got kids.

  7. Major Kong Says:

    Fox News – As fair as an Iranian election. As balanced as Lindsay Lohan on a 3-day bender.

  8. c u n d gulag Says:

    Regarding FUX 'n Sucks "News," Lenin, Goebbels, and George Orwell would be ashamed of their lame efforts.

    FOX is a master of "1984's" "Newspeak."
    "At this moment, for example, in 1984 (if it was 1984), Oceania was at war with Eurasia and in alliance with Eastasia. In no public or private utterance was it ever admitted that the three powers had at any time been grouped along different lines. Actually, as Winston well knew, it was only four years since Oceania had been at war with Eastasia and in alliance with Eurasia. But that was merely a piece of furtive knowledge, which he happened to possess because his memory was not satisfactorily under control. Officially the change of partners had never happened. Oceania was at war with Eurasia: therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia. The enemy of the moment always represented absolute evil, and it followed that any past or future agreement with him was impossible." (1.3.16)
    http://www.shmoop.com/1984/book-1-chapter-3-quotes-2.html

    So, Tesla, once the convenient Socialist/Fascist whipping-boy when it got money from the Ebyl Gubmint, all of a sudden turns a profit and repays the loan, is now a bona fide American Capitalist success story – worthy of flag-waving, praising by FOX and the WSJ Editorial and Op-ed pages, and 'THANK you, Jesusing!'
    HUZZAH!!!

    FOX, and the whole Conservative movement really depend on only one thing:
    The stupid and ignorant "Authoritarian" suckers, rubes, marks, bobo's, fools, half/dim/nit-wits, morons, feckless feckin' eejit's, and imbeciles, who reflexively turn to them, are their audience/base and won't remember anything anyway – so, all you need to do, is "remind" them of who/what they're supposed to fear, hate, and "think. And tell them that's what they feared, hated, and "thought" all along."

    Hence: 'Tesla has ALWAYS been an American Capitalist success story!'

    And I'm really very sorry, Ed, that the only part of the move that you made last summer that made you even the littlest bit happy, ended up not working out.
    But look on the plus side – it's 2013, and you can still keep in contact with your loved ones via not only mail, but by telephone, and the internet.

    So it's not like you live in 1905 Tsarist Russia, and while you're stuck in your little shtetl, your whole family and all of your friends are all leaving for America, where you'll probably never see, or even hear from, them ever again.
    THAT, must have been tough!

  9. Major Kong Says:

    @cund

    Murdock obviously read 1984 and thought "Hey! That just might work!"

  10. c u n d gulag Says:

    Oh yeah, Ed, and if you want to leave your shtetl to go for a visit, no one's going to stop you.
    And, from where you're located, both coasts are only a few hours away by plane, or, a couple of days road-trip by car or train – and, if we ever got HSR in this stupid country, like most of the civilized countries in the world, the train trip would be a hell of a lot shorter than it is now.

    Still, sorry about what's happened, after your move.

  11. Anonymouse Says:

    @Gulag: I studied Russian in the mid/late 1980s, at a time when the doors to the USSR were opening and we had a flood of Soviet natives sitting right in our classes in addition to the regular classroom newspapers, videotape (hey, it was the 1980s…) and magazines. The stories they told about the official propaganda made me recognize Fox for what it was. Do you have any immigrant relatives who tell a similar story?

  12. Major Kong Says:

    I studied plenty of Soviet propaganda when I was in SAC during the Cold War. I've seen enough to know it when I see it.

  13. deep tin Says:

    But that's the problem with today's Republicans. THEY'RE NOT EVEN REAL CAPITALISTS. On the one hand they love businesses that do well, on the other hand they hate "green" companies. So Telsa is not allowed into North Carolina because their state officials have been bribed into doing the dealerships bidding.

    That's not capitalism, that's corruption.

  14. doug Says:

    Thank you. I forwarded to several true believers, one of which I had numerous 'discussions' about Tesla. Great setup….if one can not figure out distinction between propaganda vs news from this, I don't think one will ever know the difference..

  15. Xynzee Says:

    Seconding Bucky on Stumptown's microbrew scene.

    Check, McMennimin Bros. pubs when you're there. One of their cousins worked for my mum.

  16. Arslan Says:

    Capitalism = a mode of production

    Corruption = an unethical practice, usually connected with economic benefit

    These are not mutually exclusive; in fact they go hand in hand. Every time I hear "not real capitalism" I want to know when "real capitalism" existed.

  17. sluggo Says:

    1984 was a 'How-To'.

    I heard it on the internet.

    They can't put anything on the internet that isn't true.

  18. Xynzee Says:

    Holy crap!! Finally got a chance watch that. Is that for real?

    Are these people really so vacuous that they cannot remember anything they said?

  19. c u n d gulag Says:

    Anonymouse,
    Oh yeah.
    This anecdote may not be a direct response to your question, but I think it's amusing.

    Did you know that Americans had nowhere near the living standards of Soviet-era Russians?
    And that all of our cities were violent hell-holes, riddled with crime, gangs, drugs, and sex? Not that there wasn't truth to that, but the Russian coming to NY City back then, were absolutely terrified, and clung to the relatives they were coming to visit.
    And because I'm an asshole, when it was my turn to take them around the city, I'd take them to 42nd St, Harlem (black and Spanish), and the East and West Villages, for some doses of good-old fear and American decadence.
    You had to see them when I took them from one end of 42nd to the other, at night!

    Back in the late 70's, if the USSR let you visit America, you had to have been pretty well indoctrinated with Soviet propaganda. Also, you had to leave something important behind when you visited – like your children – as hostages.

    We had some relatives of my father and aunt visit from Ukraine. My aunt took the all over NY, and they thought it was great – but they thought that she was taking them only to designated spots – well, DUH! – every city in the world, including Moscow, had sections you don't take visitors to, since it doesn't reflect well on the city, the country, or the people. Even Socialist cities, have "bad" neighborhoods.

    After a few days, they came to visit us in Upstate NY. And they loved our home. Later on, to prepare for the BBQ in their honor, we took them to our local supermarket.
    The cried at the aisles of food, and at the produce, meat, and fish sections – remember, in NY City, there isn't enough space for all of that to be in one massive store, unlike here in the suburbs – at least back then, they didn't build supermarkets that big in NY City.

    They wanted to go back to that store every day, to buy something that we would then prepare for them. They kept crying every time they walked around.
    Well, after about 4 days, they left to go back to my aunt's house in NY.

    Well, unexpectedly, my aunt and uncle had to leave NY, because his mother got ill in PA, and so we were asked to take the relatives back Upstate for a few days.
    Now, remember, this was an unscheduled visit.

    So, I drove down to the city and picked them up. And as we were turning off the main road onto the road we lived on, we passed that supermarket again – Walbaum's, I think it was – and the husband looked at it, then me, and said, "Oh, it's still there."
    And I looked at him, and said, "Yes, it's been here about 5 years, and it'll probably be here for another 20, or more."
    And then, it dawned on me. They thought that the US government had set-up that store just to impress them, and neatened up our home and lawns, and had fattened us up for a few months before their visit, since we were supposed to be living in abject poverty.

    They thought that our home, the store, and everything they had seen that they liked, was some giant Potemkin Village!

    And when I told them that, no, this was the way we lived all of the time – REALLY! – then they REALLY started crying!!!

    You see, when Americans were finally allowed to visit their relatives in Russia, the Soviets had a pretty elaborate system worked out – depending on where you lived, of course.
    In the cities, they allowed the relatives to shop at Communist Party stores for a bit, before the relatives came over – to fatten them up, since Party stores had a hell of a lot more, and better, stuff available, than the store ordinary citizens shopped at.
    And when the relatives arrived, they were told only to take them shopping to Party stores, and to avoid the ones they normally shopped at, which had virtually nothing – and a lot of nothing, at that.
    And so, when we visited, we were well fed, with plied with a lot of high-quality vodka, to impress us.

    But, the moment we left, there went the Party store privileges, and life went back to it's normal, dreary existence.

    And so, just from reading, listening and watching, propaganda, and the claims at how everything was wonderful in the USSR, Russians could see the disconnect between Soviet propaganda, and their reality, every day of their lives.
    They were aware of the hypocrisy – most just knew better than to give voice to what they knew.
    As time went on, from The Revolution, until the fall of the USSR, the more the people knew that their government, and it's mediums, were lying to them – on an everyday basis.
    Not our Conservative Americans. They swallow the patriotic gibberish that FOX, and Rush, and Glenn, etc., pitch to them.
    And they viscerally hate anyone who disagrees with their vision of America – which is perfect, or would be, if only the Liberals would leave it alone, or just plain leave.

    Now, to tie this all together – FOX and its propaganda, and the whole Reich-wing Wurlitzer, have made this whole country into a National Potemkin Village for their patriotic base.
    Everything is perfect!
    EVERYONE has the same opportunities and chances.
    Everyone can become prosperous, even wealthy, if they live enough of a patriotic and virtuous, moral, life.
    And all of the other countries in the world are evil hell-holes, unworthy of God' grace(s).
    And that's why he has rewarded this "exceptional' nation, America, with such plenty!

    And if you don't agree, then you're a treasonous, traitorous, dissenter – a LiberalSovietFascistCommunistAtheistHeathen! Possibly, even worse, an Ebil Moozlim!!!

    "America! Love It, Or Leave It!!!"
    So, get out!
    Get out while you still can!!!

    Not very much on point, and very, very long (what else does anyone expect from me), but I'm trying to avoid yardwork.
    My crippled old ass will do anything to avoid doing it. Which is sad, because I actually used to enjoy it.

    If Pravda was as effective at propaganda as FOX, the USSR might have won, and we'd all be speaking Russian today.
    Just not freely.
    Which is exactly what our Reich-wingers want here – only the true believers, the "Real 'Murkans," the patriots, would be allowed to speak.

  20. Xynzee Says:

    "If Pravda was as effective at propaganda as FOX, the USSR might have won, and we'd all be speaking Russian today."

    Maybe Rupe hired all of the former Pravda directors.

  21. Mo Says:

    An wish-I-could-write-so-succinctly post from David Atkins at Hullabaloo:

    Nor will Bachmann likely disappear from the public stage. She'll simply pull off the Sarah Palin grift, moving effortlessly from elected office to some wingnut welfare sinecure on Fox News, The Blaze or elsewhere. That's the modern conservative movement in a nutshell: the Elmer Gantrys, the corporations that fund them, and the rabid aging flock of white wool sheep who follow them in the hope of repealing the civil rights movement, the sexual revolution and empathy in general. It little matters if the hucksters walk the halls of Congress, the conservative media, or the boardroom. It's all for one and one for all.

  22. Big Sister Says:

    Ed, be happy for your relative who moved to Portland. It is one great town—– the older, weirder sister of Bellingham, where I live. We were visiting Portland awhile back, strolling downtown on foot and came to a crosswalk at a corner. There was a car stopped there, in which the driver was furiously studying a roadmap. He had the light, but since he wasn't moving and there was no other traffic, we stepped off the curb to cross the street. The driver looked up, saw that we were crossing in front of him and that he had the green…..and the prick laid on his horn!

    A witness to this on the other side of the intersection yelled "Relax, Man! You're in Portland!"

    You gotta love a town with more microbreweries and coffee shops than churches.

  23. JohnR Says:

    Arslan: "I want to know when "real capitalism" existed."
    Why, anytime but now, and everywhere but here. Actually, 'Real Capitalism' is only practiced by 'True Scotsmen', which is why it's so hard to find.

  24. mothra Says:

    Yeah, I think the path is clear now for you, Ed: move to Portland. Yes, yes, I know people like to roll their eyes at Portland, but it is one very cool town. Everyone mentioned the microbreweries, but Portland also has a very bustling distillery scene. And of course, being a cyclist, I am in love with Portland's embrace of the bicycle as transportation.

    So bide your time in Illinois and get yourself a job teaching in Portland. At least if you are stranded there by your sister you won't be depressed–and you'll quit being entertained by Fox News (shudder).

  25. Anonymouse Says:

    @gulag: "And so, just from reading, listening and watching, propaganda, and the claims at how everything was wonderful in the USSR, Russians could see the disconnect between Soviet propaganda, and their reality, every day of their lives."

    Yes, the former Soviet citizens I met in the 1980s were all very, clearly, aware that they were being fed propaganda. They were also extremely well-read because (as they kept telling us) books were cheap. The set of books I used for 8 semesters of university Russian were printed in the Soviet Union and cost $6, which even for the lower prices of college textbooks in the 1980s was a steal.

    As you pointed out, our local, home-grown idiots are willing to fight to the death to remain ignorant of how baldly they're being lied to by right-wing "news".

  26. MTB Says:

    If you think Fox News is bad, check out the Fox Business Channel. And make sure you have alcohol handy.

  27. c u n d gulag Says:

    Anonymouse,
    In the USSR, under a Totalitarian (Authoritarian) state, the people were endlessly curious about the outside world – which they were mostly cut-off from – and wondered what it would be like to live under a representative democracy? – to the extent that they could understand it.

    In America, in a representative democracy, there are a whole lot of people here who have no curiosity about the outside world – and cut themselves off from anything but other voices in their echo-chamber – and want nothing more than to live in what would, to anyone but them, be nothing less than a Totalitarian (Authoritarian) Amerika.

    They don't seem to understand that all of the "freedom" and "liberty" that they say they love and revere so much, will turn out to be nothing except the powers-that-be having the 'freedom' to take away the 'liberty' of anyone who doesn't with them.

    And our Authoritarians followers are ok with that, because, of course, that would only happen to others, never to them – the "True patriots," and "Real 'Murkins!"

    We don't just live in interesting times, but in perilous ones.

  28. Davis X. Machina Says:

    UIUC or bust, amirite?

    Bradley. Peoria. Even middle-er of llinois than Champagne-Urbana.

  29. Patrick Says:

    It is just another instance of the Republican demography bomb. I look forward to the day Fox News viewers become majority liberal.

  30. Anonymouse Says:

    Thanks, Gulag. You've given me much to think about.

  31. Major Kong Says:

    Huh.

    I was expecting bb to be along sometime with "But MSNBC does it too!"

    I hope he's OK.

  32. Bernard Says:

    my brother in law used to watch Fox 24/7, had it on even when he wasn't watching it. i can't begin to describe the "horror" of having to "hear" this propaganda/Nazi propaganda would have made more sense to me/24/7 and then have my brother in law spout this "BS" over and over. didn't speak well of my sister for marrying such an easy mark. he is a nice person and friendly and i struggled to accept this kind of idiocy that close to "home". was something i wore through, i finally got to accept that these kind of Americans are hopelessly wanting to "led". The "Daddy" party and all that mindlessness that Fox exemplifies.

    i just took a long time to accept/realize that some people don't ever want to think for themselves. even people who are"financially" okay don't necessarily have thinking capacities besides making money.

    long on the Capitalist mode of thinking, short of the human connection concepts. really weird to conceive people choosing money over people.
    the US vs Them mindset. not at all "we all are children of God" concept. so impaired and so frighteningly easy to manipulate with this mindset.

    still can't tolerate Fox, though i can look at it without blanching. just hard to grasp that level of manipulation/propaganda can be done without an automatic reset button to change the channel. and i avoid places that have Fox on in their business/customer services areas. mindlessness is not the kind of business i want to be a customer of.

  33. Jane Says:

    Ed, come visit!!! Meet a differently stupid political reality.

    And yes, MOVE TO PORTLAND :)

    /Jane

  34. Steve Says:

    I am not generally the vindictive type, but I confess I nurture a torch of hatred for Fox News Channel due to their constant and willful perpetuation of falsehoods. I also save some disdain (and rueful pity) for the lazy fools who witlessly repeat their fecal offerings. Fox News' writhing contortions and shameful distortions long ago descended below even self parody, as is obvious to most, but this particular assembly of clips displays depths of dishonest depravity previously unplumbed by even that assembly of scoundrels. I wish I felt shame for my delight at witnessing this debasing display of contaminated shit gurgling, but I do not. In fact, I celebrate every time reality mercilessly boomerangs one of their casually fabricated morsels of filth straight back into their open mouths. I smile each time they choke on shit, then swallow it whole, live on camera. I condemn them, and may their wombs and fields lay barren forevermore.

  35. duquesne_pdx Says:

    @c u n d gulag

    "And if you don't agree, then you're a treasonous, traitorous, dissenter – a LiberalSovietFascistCommunistAtheistHeathen! Possibly, even worse, an Ebil Moozlim!!!"

    I hate to quibble, but atheists have it worse than Muslims in a lot of this country. I'm currently living in Knoxville, TN, the very heart of the Bible Belt, and I'd rather walk down the street holding a sign declaring that I was a gay, Muslim pedophile, than one that said I was an atheist. Mostly because people like Limbaugh and stations like Faux News have played us up as worse than the very devil himself. Remember, it's not Muslims who are at war with the baby jeebus come December.

  36. Anonymouse Says:

    @Ed, I'm sorry you're finding Indiana so dreary. I have to admit that it wouldn't be my first choice of where to live, either…but then, I'm a crazy non-Fox-watcher who lives in a latte-sippin' (I don't care for lattes), limousine (I don't own one, nor do I ride in them) coastal city.

  37. Benny Lava Says:

    Look on the bright side: you are close to Cave in Rock Illinois, so you can go to the Gathering of the Juggalos this year. You can make it a thesis. I'm sure you will find a slew of academics hiding out there doing similar research. Plus tons of drugs. Why not?

  38. Anon Says:

    @duquesne_pdx

    My experience matches yours. I grew up in the Bible Belt and the Christians have an enormous amount of hatred toward atheists, much more so than against Muslims (although I left the Bible Belt before 9-11, so I can't speak to recent attitudes.)

    I've found that the "sophisticated" Christians (and, frankly, monotheists in general) are just as bad as the fundies in this regard. C. S. Lewis, for one, loved to trot out sniveling atheist stand-ins as whipping boys. And the touchy-feely "interfaith" types pride themselves on their open-mindedness, but hate atheists. The problem is simple: interfaith dialogue is always predicated on "we can get along because we all worship the same God."

  39. Anon Says:

    Argh- my mouse slipped and hit "submit" prematurely.

    To continue the thought above…

    My brother was irreligious for a long time and decided to convert to Christianity when he got married. Now, when he calls me, he vomits the same old hate in my ear that I've been hearing from all the other Christians for decades.

    My personal favorite from my brother:

    "You know, I'm a really open-minded guy. I'm so open-minded, I can even talk to white supremacists and listen to their ideas.

    But atheists? Atheism is purely negative. It's morally wrong for you to speak your mind as an atheist, *even if you're right.*

    OTOH, I'm a Christian. Christianity just tries to make you into a better person. So it's morally right for a Christian to try to convert people, *even if Christianity is false.*

    That being said, I'm not like those OTHER Christians. I would never try to convert anyone. I just want to share the joy of my life in Christ with you. Did you know that science has proven that prayer really works?"

    "Please quit trying to convert me."

    "What?!? I would never try to convert you! You're just an atheist bigot- you think all Christians are just a bunch of fundies out to convert you! *You* are trying to convert *me* when you tell me that science hasn't really proven the existence of God! I don't have a bigoted bone in my body- I SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS!"

    Later, I find out that "supports gay rights" means that he believes bigots should be allowed to deny rights to gays on a state-by-state basis, like Jim Crow. But he consistently wields his ostensible support of gay rights like a weapon, to deflect any charges of bigotry against atheists.

    And so help me, what I'm left wondering is, why does Christianity have to be so fucking awful? Why do these people have to shit on me day in and day out for decades? Why do they have to turn my own brother against me? It's impossible to have a conversation with these people- and they always declare it's my own fault.

  40. Jane Says:

    There was an interesting article on the opinion page of the NYT recently, where a anthropologist who has studied American evangelists says her study subjects also doubt the existence of God, but they spend time thinking about practical matters like how to feel Gods love more, rather than " how can these people BELIEVE this story" like I do. Thinking about how to become happier and taking Gods guidance has a lot of similarities with cognitive therapy.

  41. Xynzee Says:

    @Mothra: vibrant distillery scene?? What is this distillery scene of which you speak. This I did not know. I'm planning on being in Stumptown at Chrissy.

  42. JohnR Says:

    I tried to get in on this "No, _I_ have it worse than you" competition, but frankly, I'm just too lazy. That raises the Major's point, though – where's bb? This all should be red meat to him.

  43. xynzee Says:

    Just as an aside Ed. My HS in Stumptown's burbs had a PoliSci teacher with a Doctorate. Saw a one bedroom cottage going for the mid-low $100k mark a couple of years ago. So it's a suggestion Yeah it rains. It rains a whole lot, but the soil is deep and rich and there's enough weirdness for you to feel better about the world.

  44. sinned34 Says:

    As much as I love micro-brewed beer (hey, I make middling versions of craft "beer" at home, I love it so much!) I don't think I'd be happy to live in a town that's so boring as to create a vibrant "scene" based around an intoxicant.

    I wouldn't mind visiting to go on a pub crawl though.

  45. gaderson Says:

    @sinned34, Well, 'Stumptown' comes from the nickname given to a town that before paved roads would paint its tree stumps white so it's drunk town mayor would be less likely to wreck his mode of transport. The drearyness of Northwest winter – no snow to brighten the day – of constant rain does lead to depression-enforcing behavior. Or as local Chuck Palahnuik noted, they should just "put the heroin direct into the water".

  46. Xynzee Says:

    @sinned: you know how they say alcohol is a social lubricant? Same on online forums, and for common ground. Also are we talking about visiting his sister, or relocating? Just visiting, then we can talk pub crawls. Relocating, that's different.

    I've been o/s for 18yrs, and not back in 10, so can't say what else is happening. Ed doesn't strike me as a Saturday Mkt kind of guy. So I can't recommend this band or that band, though I'll give a shout out for a ska band called the Sentiments. We had an awesome cafe culture, but the cafes I went to are probably gone. Rimsky's anyone?

    As for snow, that's a good thing in a way. PDX is geological young and only just been pushed upwards, hollowed out. It's not been dozed flat by glaciers eg IL. So a dusting of snow shuts the town down.
    http://youtu.be/KyfjZlOSq2A

    But there's a mountain nearby for that. There's skiing even in summer.

    There's a jr hockey team, but the Bulls pop in for a visit during the winter.

    Ed's never let on how outdoorsy he is. But I'm guess wind surfing is out for our Lithuanian from Chicago. But if you relocated, the Gorge is nearby for that. You could take up roller hockey or bicycle polo.

    Other than Jane, there do not seem to be too many enthusiastic PDXers here.

  47. moderateindy Says:

    Fox and the conservative movement in general work on a very interesting paradigm. The idea that everybody is lying except for one tiny fraction of the equation. All the other networks are liberal propoganda, and Fox is the beacon of truth. It of course follows a pattern in so many other areas. Climate change, why 97 out of 100 scientists that work in the field are lying, and being bribed, while a tiny fraction who often work for the industries that have the most to gain from doing nothing are the ones that are speaking the truth.
    Facts do not matter to these people. They are the same types that believe birth announcements from 50 years ago in newspaper archives on microfiche isn't real evidence.

  48. Tom Says:

    I think the success of Tesla is largely attributed to the shrewdness of Musk. He isn't interested in some vague Greenpeace-inspired ideology: he's an economist who realised that the most efficient way to power cars is to generate the power outside the vehicle. The feel-good-I'm-"saving"-the-planet nonsense is probably helpful marketing though.

  49. jaktheyak Says:

    "…and yet the majority of their viewers think they are one."

    Correction: the majority of their viewers think they are the ONLY one.

  50. just me Says:

    @J Dryden
    Fox News is to news what Orson Welles's "War of the Worlds" broadcast was to ignoramuses–

    oh there's a difference between Welles believers and Faux News watchers – one letter, which produces: ignoranuses.

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  52. kredyt bez bik Says:

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