FAILURE TO LAUNCH

I laid down four hours ago to write this post and I ended up writing nothing. This is happening a lot lately. I know what to write about and I know, in some cases, exactly what I'm going to say but I end up doing nothing. Is there a word for losing the ability to do anything except stare aimlessly at the internet or TV?

Sorry to disappoint the, like, fifty readers I have after doing this daily for a decade.

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96 Responses to “FAILURE TO LAUNCH”

  1. eric Says:

    I wanted to add this comment so you had 51.

  2. Sagas Says:

    51st comment- but too lazy to check for dupes, so I'm gonna say you have at least 51 readers….

  3. Tim H. Says:

    Chocolate helps a little. It's not called Food of the Gods (Theobromin) for nothing.

  4. mothra Says:

    Yeah. I got nothing. I guess you know it's depression and you likely by now have figured out all the potential treatments for the affliction.

    Hey, wait–I DO have something. I am not going to be all "oh, if you feel bad and don't want to post I understand." Fuck that shit! We depend on you, goddamn it. Because we feel like shit, too. We just lay down and turn on the boob toob and watch the images bounce around hoping it might help and it doesn't and we turn over on our other side and wish things were different and then we remember aha! There's Ed out there! Ed will have something fun to say–Ed will make us laugh or even tear another lump of hair out of our heads. But if there's no Ed…well, what is the point of even fucking getting up? Goddamn it. Your posts are balm for a wounded soul.

    And, even though Ladiesbane hates Albq., I can tell you that this time of year is so beautiful it makes your heart hurt. Just going outside and basking in the warmth of the sun under the deep blue sky….aaaaahhhh. So Ed, if you wanna visit, let me know. You got my e-mail. Shit…I need someone to hang at my house and watch the cats while I am out of town at trial for a couple of weeks at the beginning of November. You interested?

  5. bb in GA Says:

    You have a 30 year history of depression by your word. Obviously that's not the Blues. So sorry, but that is a piece of data, if shared by you before, was not received.

    Everyone gets the Blues, obviously you have a greater problem.. I hope and pray for your improvement.

    //bb

  6. guttedleafsfan Says:

    No, Ed, do not let him pressure you, you just take a rest and we will all carry on the blog until you feel up to returning. Don't worry about a thing. I know my cogent analysis of the chances of the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles winning the QJMHL championship will fascinate everybody.

  7. Anubis Bard Says:

    Take a break, Ed. A rant will come, I have no doubt.

  8. ladiesbane Says:

    Hey, ABQ has many moments of great beauty, and the smell of green chiles roasting is my favorite airborne narcotic. I got my fill of flat, dirty towns in Arizona, as well a lack of good jobs and mass transit. Too much heartbreaking poverty and wealth disparity for me, thanks. I'm glad to be back in the cool green hills of Portland, where the sun doesn't hurt me and there are no arid winds. Mothra, if you're ever in town, I'll buy you a drink and we can sing the praises of the snowcapped Sandias. But I'd rather miss the Burque than live there.

  9. anotherbozo Says:

    There's always the chance that Ed is rantless because of Armageddon-on-the-Potomac, the Tea Party Orgasm, the Kamikaze Kool-aid Jamboree that defies all scorn and mocks mockery. Maybe that's the elephant in the room, that's caused even Jon Stewart to commit unfunny rants recently. Causing even a 30-year depressive to clam up, maybe.

    God, I know it would me. What, for Chrissake, is there to say any more?

  10. mzrad Says:

    ha ha: you don't publish daily.

    — a reader

  11. Dave Dell Says:

    Exercise. Healthy foods. Healthy regular bowel movements. Talking about shit that matters face to face with old friends. Responsibilities for the happiness and well being of other people in the personal sense, not the abstract. Scrub your own corner of the world and be an outside observer of the rest until the depression lessens.

    Oh, orgasms are good too.

  12. Big dog Says:

    I'm no armchair psychiatrist, so I can't speak to your problem, Ed, but if you really want to get depressed then continue to watch the tele. I junked mine about twenty or so years ago and even though I live in the six months dark Northwest, I get through it with a smile.

  13. NickT Says:

    I wish armchair clinicians would stop assuming that every passing moment of inability to be a performing blogger meant that Ed suffered from depression. Sometimes it's just about not putting pressure on yourself by setting deadlines. Take a couple of days, do something else – and if you feel like blogging, blog away and don't sweat the details or the perfect intellect rigour. You can edit your first draft before you post it.

    Either way, please don't take the screams of "He must be depressed! He must be depressed!" too seriously.

    Relax, unzip, set your heels and let your golden inspiration flow. If it doesn't want to, zip up, leave the facility and drink a cup of damn fine coffee.

  14. bill Says:

    Move to LA. (Not joking)

  15. Tom in NL Says:

    If it makes you feel better, I really look forward to reading your blog every day. The combination of sardonic humour and insightful observations make it one of my favourites. If your readership is low, that's because most people are idiots.

  16. guttedleafsfan Says:

    As a part of the readership who is proudly low, both in class and standards, I strongly resent the implication that I am also like most people.

    Where is NL anyway?

  17. anotherbozo Says:

    Guttedleafsfan, you 're an idiot. Click on his username for an answer to your question.

  18. guttedleafsfan Says:

    bozo, no I am not either. It is not my fault I cannot edit text here. Well, maybe it is but I do not know about it. "Where in NL anyway… and what about them Icecaps eh".

    Heh.

  19. guttedleafsfan Says:

    Ed, somebody not joking said move to LA but do not do it. My cousin flew over LA on her way to Edmonton and it was all smoggy and nasty.
    If you consider moving, follow the advice of your parents like I did and move where they do not have to support you so heavily.

  20. mothra Says:

    Guttedleafsfan, you 're an idiot.

    Well that's particularly uncivil.

  21. don Says:

    You may be rantstipated. The air lately is unusually full of highly processed, artificially flavored and non-nutritive political posturing; even moderate attention to this kind of junk can lead to debilitating blockages.

    When it happens to me I absent myself from the source: turn off the machines and go as far away from them as you can reasonably get, both physically and psychologically. I've had success with a stack of books in a forest, LSD on a small and quiet island, and pretending it's still 1979 on my record player, really loud.

  22. Phoenician in a time of Romans Says:

    Hey, add one more. Or maybe I'm a net negative, I dunno.

    If it's any help this just came out on Steam. Time to let the inner utopian political junkie out.

  23. E* Says:

    You need an intelligent, loving partner who gets you at a deep and personal level. Time for a new rat.

  24. E* Says:

    PS. "Let your golden inspiration flow" is my new mantra.

  25. OldLadyRocker Says:

    Don't give up. We're all depending on you.

  26. Star Says:

    Good old clinical depression. Never fails to make one succeed at accomplishing nothing.

  27. guttedleafsfan Says:

    Intelligent loving partners are not much help to the depressed, as our 0utreaches to Ed show.

    But they can't hurt all that much either… can they?

  28. anotherbozo Says:

    "Time for a new rat." LOL

    @mothra: in jest. check the context, previous 2 comments.

  29. RosiesDad Says:

    Ed:

    You and Mrs. Dr. Ed need to get out of town on a regular basis. Go to Chicago, go to St. Louis, get out of Peoria. Museums, comedy clubs, whatever floats your boat.
    And find someone—a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, yogi–who can help you unwind and take the load off your shoulders.
    Make time to Skype or FaceTime with your distant friends and make time to meet them at fun events, even if it only a couple of times a year. Rock Festivals, Jazzfest, a tour of a city's comedy clubs, whatever.

    Take care of yourself. There is a small army of devoted readers out here who enjoy your contribution to our days and who want to see you well and feeling good about yourself.

  30. Nate Says:

    it's called depression and considering what a small group of Americans are doing to their own in this country, re: shutdown, I can't admit to feeling all that much better.

  31. dmc Says:

    Hey Ed,

    We feel you. And will wait patiently (for a little while) until you continue providing thoroughly maddening and hilarious content for free. You're welcome ;-)

    All the best (really),
    -d

  32. Kaleberg Says:

    It sounds like exhaustion. Travel is surprisingly exhausting and people frequently underestimate what it takes just to wake up in a strange bed in a strange place, find one's clothes draped on strange furniture and so on. Sheer excitement and sense of purpose can keep you going, but it can take a week or more to recover, even from a short trip to a familiar place.

    It doesn't sound like depression. I have had my share of depression and it is much more totally overwhelming. You wouldn't even be considering writing. The fact that you got this message out suggests it is exhaustion.

  33. Khaled Says:

    To second what guttedleafsfan said, read Down Goes Brown. A couple of those posts almost made me pee myself laughing. Be sure to watch the YouTube video of some drunken Flyer fan jump into the penalty box and try to "fight" Tie Domi (I think it was Tie Domi, I could be wrong). And yes, go to Canada on vacation- Toronto is cool, Vancouver is less pretentious than Portland or Seattle, but still has a great vibe to it. Lots and lots of loud bars on Granville.
    Oh, and if you go to the outdoor game in March between the Blackhawks and Penguins, I hope to be there throwing snowballs (pray for snow!) at the Blackhawk fans.

  34. Ronda W Says:

    I live in Canada and read your site regularly to keep up on US perspectives. You have many more readers than you think, I'm sure. Look after yourself – just let us know what you're contemplating later this week – perhaps by Friday if the credit deadline has (or hasn't?) been breached. Certainly look forward to your thoughts.

  35. Robot Eating Says:

    I like your work, Ed, and your blog is the only one, since the great google reader massacre, that I visit every day.
    You're not obligated to do anything for anybody, though. You don't even have to be happy or productive.
    Just rock on.

  36. guttedleafsfan Says:

    "Jean Maurice O'Higgins skated to the faceoff circle, still dazed from his encounter with his landlady's sister, Tamara, while around him his teammates began to scream and their hated archrivals the Victoriaville |Tigers attempted to growl…."

    …What? Maybe Ed has trouble getting to sleep.Just trying to help out here.

  37. vegymper Says:

    Ah, to name the game means perharps a cure? batshit. Depression, they say. Or Maybe it is the upcoming of wisdom? Life is quite void, dear Ed, please don't pay attention to all the previous siren comments about the need to be well. batshit from those who can't help themselves to be in the deep hollow. Nothing here to go for, nothing here to battle for, life is essentially void. Zen words, huh? Yep. And there is a diamond beauty to that state, a very very lofty beauty, after crossing the gap. Who are you? Is the "Ed as you know" crumbling? Then you will be close to who you really are. Is the place you are now particularly boring? It only takes away from you all kinds of distractions, like being in a city sized monastery. Welcome to the opportunity of just being, with all the sore, and take your time, even if we, as adults, need to face our Ed-abstinence-syndrome. (a rock star always comes back!)
    Don't cheer; its an artificial effort. Just flow, because this is you. Wanna read more?
    V

  38. Ellie Says:

    Well, I was going to suggest a new rat, but someone beat me to it.

    For what it's worth, we all have what I call "meltdown days". Face it, we're living in a world that's rapidly turning into some sort of globally-warmed post-apocolyptic Randian corporatist dystopia (not to be melodramatic or anything), and there's nothing we can do about it. How's that for depressing? Some days it just all gets to you, ya know?

    Stop blaming yourself. Take some time off. We'll be here when you feel lie ranting again. It's not like we have anywhere better to be either.

  39. Karon Says:

    "You need an intelligent, loving partner who gets you at a deep and personal level. Time for a new rat." courtesy of E* had me laughing out loud!

    Have enjoyed and shared your blog name with all my family. From TX orig. and have recently moved back – DFW…. Gin and Tacos are my kind of thing.

    I enjoy your posts and always look forward to the new ones. I 'liked' you on FB so I get your droll comments as you make them – again, looking forward to each of them because they make such a nice backdrop to all the tea party, christian, happier than a pig in $**t comments from my other FB 'friends'. That small dose of reality helps!

    Ever in the area – let me know – I'll take you for a G&T and a taco!

  40. acer Says:

    Maybe ALL CAPS ED could cheer you up.

    I'm sorry you feel badly and I can relate. More rants will come when the time is right.

  41. Mingent Whizmaster Says:

    Wrote 3 or 4 comments in this thread but didn't post–others have said all I tried to say. Your blog has gradually worked its way to the top of my 'favorites' list & I just wanted to stick my head in the door & give an encouraging wave. Nobody these days needs to explain why they feel bad. It is those inexplicable cheerful people who need to account for themselves.

  42. Adam Says:

    I get this with my podcasts sometimes.

    Don't worry Ed!! We all love ya

  43. postcaroline Says:

    Question: Is there a word?
    Answer: Anhedonia

    I know the meaning of this word because it was the working title for "Annie Hall."

  44. Mackeyser Says:

    Clearly it was the dearth of Juggalo and Insane Clown Posse references.

    I'm back to remedy this… And with Ted Cruz, Steve King, Dr. Paul Brown and other Tea Partiers in the news… I'll have more chances than I can take advantage of, frankly.

  45. Kevin NYC Says:

    51

  46. Sondra Says:

    Yes. It is called worn out and there aren't enough meds in the cupboard to overcome the inertia today. Keep napping and hope you feel better tomorrow.