Every media outlet aimed at either an educated, NPR-type audience or irony-loving hipsters runs an annual "Gathering of the Juggalos" story at this point. Despite the fact that nearly everyone in America is familiar with the decade-plus old festival at this point, the blogs and freelancers and even the Old Media can't help themselves from writing "Will you look at this shit?" pieces about the human circus. Look, they're all fat white trash! They like terrible music! There's a thing called "The Drug Bridge"!
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There's "Little People" wrestling! It cracks me up as much as the next guy who enjoys feeling superior to a group of people of whom it is fish-in-barrel easy to make fun, but it feels pretty 2005 at this point. There's nothing left to say.
For their part, the Juggalos understand that they are being mocked. They have a tacit agreement with the media. The Juggalos behave Hilariously Trashy. The media, who came specifically to see such behavior, act appropriately outraged. Everyone goes home happy. It has become so formulaic that it is hardly worth writing about anymore.
This is the part where I compare The Gathering of the Juggalos to CPAC.
About ten years ago it was worth getting outraged about CPAC.
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About five years ago it was no longer worth taking seriously but it was still good as Theater of the Absurd. Today I have to say I'm just bored with it. The "coverage" that every left-leaning media outlet is obligated to provide is predictable and uninspired; worse yet, the attendees and speakers appear to be in on the joke now. It's getting to be uncomfortably tongue-in-cheek, the speakers spouting all the same nonsense but with an implied wink-and-nudge. Yes, every attendee at CPAC is nuts. Yes, the speakers are opportunistic parasites shamelessly taking wingnut welfare checks from the billionaire backers who are so divorced from reality that they take people like Michele Bachmann seriously. But even most of the people involved with CPAC realize it is a three-ring circus at this point, so the media coverage falls flat.
That is, unless you're Charles Pierce. You guys know how I feel about Charles Pierce (and I think he has visited us here a few times) and frankly I was disappointed to see that even he could not make the ritual mocking of CPAC interesting over the past few days. It turns out he was just saving it for the Closing Act, the Idiot Queen of Wasilla herself. This is…a thing you should read.
By now, and by god, it should have settled permanently in the consciousness of the nation what a huge and untoward gamble with the country John McCain and his campaign took in 2008 when they elevated Sarah Palin from her rightful place on the tundra to the political celebrity she currently enjoys.
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McCain should pay a heavy price for unleashing this ignorant, two-wheeled bilewagon on the country's politics. If you think she's a legitimate political leader, you're an idiot and a sucker and I feel sorry for you.Yesterday she gave a wildly received speech to ring down the curtain at CPAC. The applause, as far as I know, may still be going on. It was as singularly embarrassing a public address as any allegedly sentient primate ever has delivered. It was a disgrace to politics, to rhetoric, to the English language, and to seventh-grade slam books everywhere.
This ambulatiory bag of rank resentment pulled out all the tricks. The cheap shots; "Aw, John, why the long face?" to the Secretary of State. The sneering, wheedling playground taunting — "You can't make a phone call without Michelle Obama knowing, 'This is the third time this week you dialed Pizza Hut Delivery'" — and a full panoply of funny voices that are the trademark of dipshit comics in every two-drink minimum club in America. We got "hope and channng-ey," and how "some members" of the GOP establishment are saying to us, "Hush, America. Go to sleep, little lambs." And, in what is being celebrated as the piece de resistance , she turned Green Eggs And Ham into an extended taunt.
"I do not like this spyin' man, I do not like ‘Oh, yes we can,' I do not like this kind of hope, and we won't take it nope, nope, nope." (Dr. Seuss, a noted progressive, was having dry heaves in the Void.)
If you laughed, you're an idiot and I feel sorry for you.
It gets better.
A friend bailed on the speech, making the very plausible case that Palin is simply another political celebrity freakshow, like Donald Trump. I can see the point there but, with Palin, and watching the hysterical reception her puerile screed received, there is something more serious going on. She is the living representation of the infantilization of American politics, a poisonous Grimm Sister telling toxic fairy tales to audiences drunk on fear, and hate and nonsense. She respects no standards but her own. She is in perpetual tantrum, railing against her betters, which is practically everyone, and volunteering for the job of avatar to the country's reckless vandal of a political Id. It was the address of a malignant child delivered to an audience of malignant children. If you applauded, you're an idiot and I feel sorry for you.
I need a cigarette.
Kevin NYC says:
I don't click on stories with her face on them… I don't want to know…
J. Dryden says:
Once upon a time, for good or ill (largely depending on whether you were a Native American), the face of American Populism was Andrew Jackson.
Then it was William Jennings Bryan.
Then it was Ronald Reagan.
Now it's Sarah Palin.
And thus, the wingnuts have proven that evolution is, in fact, a lie. Or at least, that it also goes in reverse.
driff says:
I attended the ARPA-E Summit in the same exact convention center 2 weeks ago. I feel dirty.
Arslan says:
It's their "humor" that is so cringeworthy. It is all based on their own internal memes, most of which are completely untrue. Being "outside the loop", every joke reminds me of Krusty trying out his new observational comedy routine: "White pages, Yellow Pages, what's next? BLUE PAGES?" To which Lisa replies "Those are for government listings."
Xynzee says:
I saw footage of (p)Rick Perry on the topic of prison reform. WT…!!
The only way I can envision him wanting to reform prisons is to replace hot/cold running water with a certain gas. He probably would like procedural reforms to do away with those pesky expensive appeals.
Unless he means making it easier for him to release good ol' boys that were incarcerated by mistake.
Major Kong says:
That’s literally the intellectual level of the GOP these days, reciting kindergarten books as political dogma.
RosiesDad says:
He had me at, "McCain should pay a heavy price…"
McCain won't but we still are.
Nicolle Wallace and Steve Schmidt, the political geniuses who conspired with McCain should be paying a heavy price, too, but they won't either.
At least they haven't taken Charlie away from us…
Anonymouse says:
@MajorKong: "That’s literally the intellectual level of the GOP these days, reciting kindergarten books as political dogma".
That, and taking old stories, twisting them, and using them….like the little homeless boy who in 1986 told a reporter he would love to take a brown bag lunch into school, because kids with homes and intact families got lunch. The Rethugnicans twisted that into "poor kids would rather go hungry than get a school-provided lunch."
anotherbozo says:
Ed, I feel gypped since I'd already read Pierce this a.m. But you introduced me to him in the first place and it was a sterling effort, even by his high standards. Maybe a reader here hadn't heard of him until now.
RosiesDad says:
@Anonymouse: There is a certain dignity to be gained by not being a taker. Look at how well it's worked out for Congressman Munster.
Sarah says:
I assume you're talking about Paul Ryan, Professional Asshole. You might be interested to know that he lied about that business with the hungry kid who wanted a brown bag lunch over free school lunch.
Monty says:
Sarah Palin. Screeching harpy. Cottage cheese legs to go with her word salad. Mother of Bristol Palin. 2/10. Would not bang.
Burning River says:
I loved this Pierce piece so much that I'd posted it on Facebook Sunday morning when I read it. For my trouble, an old college advisor (who, frankly, was always a bit of a creep) responded with :
"I'm not a fan of hers, but the hatred the left has for her and former President George W. Bush is only eclipsed by the hatred they have for black Conservatives."
SMH
Anonymouse says:
@Sarah: yup, That was Paul Ryan, and he took part of a story from 1986, lied about it, and presented it as current. Kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican party, no?
@BurningRiver; Palin's band of idiots have convinced themselves anyone who doesn't worship Palin is jealous of her "beauty" and "intelligence". Like all right-wing memes, it's repeated until the dim-witted believe.
c u n d gulag says:
I was going to change what I call her from, "The Whore of Babblin'-on," to "The Mouth That Bored," until I read about that CPAC speech!
Sarah Palin is STILL "The Whore of Babblin-on!"*
*My apologies to sex-workers everywhere, who are far smarter, and work harder, than this ignorant nit/half/dim/fuck-wit twit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tim H. says:
The juxtaposition of Sarah Palin & the fans of "Intestinal Convulsive Product" is amusing.
Anonymouse says:
@Gulag; not only that, but Palin plaigiarised the Dr. Seuss poem she read. What is it with Republicans stealing other people's work?
Tommy says:
Charles Pierce uses his tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
vista says:
@Anonymouse
"What is it with Republicans stealing other people's work?"
Isn't that what the grifter lifestyle is all about? Being parasites and living off of other people's hard work.
Mo says:
He had me at "ignorant two-wheeled bile wagon," and by "ambulatory bag of rank resentment" I was starting to moan…
I watched my fellow Alaskans elect this manipulative fraud, even despite her hoedown hairdo electoral photo – or, on second thought, possibly because of it.
Figured it was just more flailing around to try to get out from under a state run by oil companies.
"She's independent! Hates the Good Ol' Boys! Oooh, wotta babe!"
The Kochs and ALEC are busy here right now, because it's so easy to buy our state government cheap.
Ya just cannot fix stupid, I guess.
Anonymouse says:
@Vista; yes, the Republican party seems to excel at projection. Whatever they're carrying on about, you know it's something they're doing and trying to distract attention from.
cromartie says:
Meh. It's a freakshow. And with 275 channels in need of programming, it's inevitable that every freakshow gets attention if it's freaky enough. Particularly if it attracts white people of some means to the television set.
Hence, CPAC.
Fmguru says:
Palin's commentary on Paul Revere's ride is pretty much the most amazing word salad I've ever seen, and I've been using the internet since the early USENET days (when every third poster to sci.physics was an unmedicated schizophrenic).
"And you know, he [Paul Revere] who warned the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms, by ringing those bells and making sure, as he is riding his horse through town, to send those warning shots and bells, that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free…Part of Paul Revere's ride – and it wasn't just one ride; he was a courier, he was a messenger – part of his ride was to warn the British that we're already there, that hey, you're not going to succeed. You're not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have. He did warn the British."
God bless you and keep you, Sarah.
Major Kong says:
I think we're too hard on Sarah. With a lot of hard work and more than a little luck she might just make a decent night manager at a Wendy's somewhere.
Not day manager, mind you. She's not ready for the big leagues just yet.
Ridnik Chrome says:
…the blogs and freelancers and even the Old Media can't help themselves from writing "Will you look at this shit?" pieces about the human circus…
It's the Joe Dirt Rule, i.e. "It's okay to make fun of poor people as long as they're white."
Khaled says:
The Palin mentality makes it on to facebook as well. I recently "friended" a former work friend of mine, and her news feed is all stupid republican memes. I mean, showing a picture of Putin holding a handgun versus a picture of Obama and implying that Putin is tougher because he packs heat? I'd like to drop both of them on the south side of Chicago or the Bronx about midnight and see who lasts longer. Memes ripping on Michelle Obama as not being a "real" first lady- I guess since she insists on using her brain, she is "uppity" or something.
Palin is a product of this bile. The fact that she is attempting to say that she knows anything about what goes on outside the borders of her own personal space is laughable at best. But since we have free speech in this country (despite what those idiots at Fox News tell us) we tolerate idiots ranting and raving.
I would love to see her in a national election. I do think that Democratic candidate- doesn't matter which one- would wipe the floor with her empty shell of humanity.
Don says:
Having already savored the Pierce article and licked the plate clean, this:
"This is the part where I compare The Gathering of the Juggalos to CPAC."
… is what lights up my life.
mothra says:
Yep, "ignorant, two-wheeled bile wagon" is priceless and the most succinct description I've seen of Palin. As is "Gathering of the Juggalos" is for CPAC. Would that make the Republican Party the Insane Clown Posse?
By the by, turns out Palin didn't make up that faux Seuss rhyme–she borrowed it, of course. That these conservatives continue to use and reference Seuss just boggles the mind, doesn't it?
kindness says:
I'm thankful the CPAC folk aren't running around naked like the Juggalos.
Matt says:
Q: What's the difference between the Gathering of the Juggalos and CPAC?
A: One features legions of emotionally-stunted suburbanites grasping their 128 Big Fuck sodas while listening to vapid assclowns shouting nonsensical stories involving double shots of violence, racism, and misogyny. The other is a get-together about a band.
Eau says:
Matt ftw
Major Kong says:
Matt you just won an internet. Where would you like it to be delivered?
Daphne says:
Because I don't check Esquire over the weekend I missed Pierce's column written Saturday until I was linked to it today through another blog. If I were religious I'd say God bless Charles Pierce but what the hell, I'll say it anyway.
Csicopper says:
Steve Allen had it right: "Dumbth."
Frank DiCufflle says:
I think Major Kong wants to bear your children, Matt.
Nate says:
I saw an interesting documentary about Sarah Palin a few months ago called, "You Betcha". It was about her early life and rise to power and what happened during her governorship, etc. Super interesting. Her family is just as nuts as she is.
Nate says:
I saw an interesting documentary about Sarah Palin a few months ago called, "You Betcha". It was about her early life and rise to power and what happened during her governorship, etc. Super interesting. Her family is just as nuts as she is. I believe it's still on Netflix.
Erin says:
@Tommy- thank you making me spit-take with your Blazing Saddles reference.
r. clayton says:
This is the part where I compare The Gathering of the Juggalos to CPAC.
Oh. I though you were going to give us the culture war we really want: Juggalos vs Burning Man.