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Throughout history many fine men have grown mustaches- not that there is really any correlation between the strength of a man's character, and his ability to grow facial hair. In fact, often times the complete opposite is true. Never in history has this been more the case than when talking about the Mike and Molly's official mustache comeptition.

Here is the story. On monday the fifth of april all those who thought they had the nerve had to show up at the bar clean shaven to be examined by competition officials. Upon varifiying the smoothness of the upperlip, you are allowed to compete. You now have three weeks to allow your mustache hair to flourish.

On the 26th of April many a mustachioed competitor will decend on Mike and Molly's to have their growth judged by an impartial panel of past winners, bar employees and friends.

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The judgment is based not entirely on the thickness of mustache, but on the skill of the preformer. Having the perfect mustache personality is an absolute must.

This year I decided to let the ginandtacos readers behind the scenes.
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Typically the average spectator will only see the mustache from in front of the stage on the 26th. I am going to change all that.

Take a look into the sordid world of competitive mustache growth

My god. This isn't a joke. Please, for the love of all that is good, go to: The Way of the Master webpage and make sure you click on "high speed" – trust me, it's worth it.

"The Way of the Master" sounds too much like a Chinese martial arts movie to be taken seriously. You are going to want to believe that this is a hoax – but I don't think it is.

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So the Indiana University campus is buzzing over the fact that on Monday afternoon, a 22 year old student threw a chair through the window of a 9th story classroom in Ballentine Hall and jumped.

I think approximately 15% of the horror results from the disturbing nature of the incident, which I watched happen, while the other 85% stems from the fact that he was basically unhurt.

Don't get me wrong, he's hurt. And still in the hospital. But this man plunged 150 or so feet onto concrete and didn't even break a bone. Or get knocked unconscious. The first people on the scene, expecting to see a splattered blob of ketchup, instead found him sitting upright and talking. The worst injuries he received, according to published reports, are cuts from broken glass.
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This man is clearly Unbreakable, and every person who falls on on a ladder or their basement stairs and ends up dying is his Samuel Jackson.

And on a completely insensitive note, memo to suicide jumpers: go head first if you're serious. And if you're not, then don't jump, because your odds aren't all that good.
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Unless you're this guy.

Also due to feeling the pressures of graduate student life, I am going to give you random links to make up for actual updates.

The NYT talking about the use of MRI in determining political leanings Although from a scientific standpoint, this research is at the point where it can be refered to as dubious at best, their "conclusions" are quite amusing. You will need a NYT login to view this article. If you don't already have one, and don't want to sign up for one, use ours:

login:ginandtacos
password:ginandtacos

If you don't have much time a brief on the same story from the drudgereport.com….bear in mind that he left out some of the more interesting tidbits about the apparent differences between conservatives and liberals.

Teenagers are actually are interested in news Yes, but since the study also concludes that they "hate reading" is this really good news?

What is the nature of our involvement in Syria? This is admittedly a very sketchy source, but interesting nonetheless – primarily because some of the statements attributed to US government officaials seem remarkably similar to rhetoric describing our involvement in Laos and Cambodia in early 1970.

Let me leave you with this quote from Kevin Spacey after his ill-fated late night "dog walking" incident. Apparently he was "conned" into giving some kid his cell phone, then tripped over his dog in an attempt to pursue the child. He proceeded to lie to the police and claim he was mugged.

"You know walking your dog in the park is a perfectly normal thing to do, but, you know, I think that they are always trying to, you know, [say] 'What was he doing in that park at 4:30 am.?' My doggy had to go!"

By the way, if I were to actually say this I could be sued, so I will just insinuate. This incident took place in London, I have on good authority from someone who was there recently that there are pamphlets around the city saying going to parks late at night are a good way so score yourself some hot anonymous same-sex loving.

Updates to the main content soon (some reviews, some new neocon bingo tiles, and more!), but for now, while the staff of ginandtacos.com suffers under deadlines and term projects, here's some random stuff off the internet:

Doonesbury. Read it, even if you are a new fan, and especially if you haven't read it in a while. B.D. is one of the first characters from the strip (from way back around 1971), who has just recently gone off to fight in Iraq. Bush in Iraq has gotten under Trudeau like Reagan with the AIDS crisis, and he's using a character to let it be known.

New Yorker Profile of Aaron McGruder; it's surprisingly critical (for the new yorker anyway), and it explains why "The Boondocks" has been, well, crappy since last fall (he's given the artwork off to someone else while trying to expand into other media). I'll try and get a reaction to it in the comics section while my boss isn't looking.

Retrospective of Rem Koolhaas, just in time for the opening of his Public Library in Seattle. I'd recommend getting over to the IIT student union (pictured in that profile) whenever you are in Chicago – it's worth all the fuss it's getting.

All the times Giles has been knocked out on Buffy. This is in honor of the fact that Angel, which is having an amazing Season Five, is leaving the networks for good in 1 month. I know the page is missing a few (the living puppet episode the demon gets him in order to try and eat his brains). We may need our own list compiled.

The Sopranos' obsession with having to use the bathroom. I'm glad the show recovered from a so-so season 4 to be worth talking about again. Like Angel, it's having an amazing season 5. The article also calls out the network for having the shows with the most (Sex and the City) and least (Sopranos) glamorous view of American affluence right next to each other:

Compare, for instance, the joyless wealth of the New Jersey clan with Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw and her feel-good material girlfriends. Nowhere else on cable is American consumerism as scathingly portrayed as it is among Tony and his families. If Sex and the City caused its viewers to fantasize about A-list night-clubbing in Manhattan, closets stuffed with designer shoes, apartments in Soho, and eating out seven nights a week, The Sopranos is about rubbing our noses in the grossness of stuff. Once you tunnel under the Hudson River, the unchic nightclubs are packed with creepy guys ogling fake-breasted pole dancers, your clothes came off a truck, real estate is just another shakedown, and dinner is cold pizza.

Most people are no doubt aware that retired military veterans receive a pension from the government in this country. When the soldier dies, his or her spouse also continues to receive the pension.

So imagine the surprise, and subsequent mental calculations, that greeted me when I discovered that there is still one living Civil War widow receiving a pension.

Miss Alberta Martin, born in 1906, married one William Jasper Martin in 1927. William was 81 at the time, and Alberta was only 21. But she realized that if she married the old geezer before his imminent death, she would get his pension for life. William, a veteran of the Confederate 4th Alabama Infantry, died shortly after their wedding.
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As planned, no doubt.

After her husband's death, Alberta married his grandson.

She is still alive and receiving his monthly pension in Dothan, Alabama.

And you wonder where we get these wild stereotypes about the south.

So I wasn't hallucinating when I turned on Chicago 950AM yesterday morning to find several people talking in spanish instead of liberal talk radio station Air America. I knew 950AM was a spanish station before Air America bought its airtime, but I didn't think they would be pulled after so little time.

Well, yeah, they did get pulled from the Chicago Market, and the L.A. Market as well. Air America finally got around to releasing a statement blasting the station owners for doing this; the Majority Report blog says that the same people own the Chicago and LA radio stations, and want more for LA, and are using Chicago as leverage. The radio owners said that Air America bounced a check for a million dollars, and aren't paying their bills. It was fun while it lasted. Here's the injunction Air America filed to get back on the air.

To be honest, besides Franken and Garafalo's shows, the rest was mostly filler at best. I think it will be better if they can pool their resources on developing those two shows and have them fight it out on the networks each on their own (like, ya know, every other editorial talk show, including Hannity and Limbaugh) instead of trying to create an entire network out of thin air; if you listen close enough you can hear the money going down the toilet while the godawful Randi rants, or Lizz Winstead and Rachel Maddow sort of make logical arguments while Chuck D sleeps.

I was distressed to find out the the typical dose of reality television had been preempted for the third primetime news conference of Bush's "presidency".

Although watching Average Joe Hawaii, or whatever the fuck else would have been on clearly would have caused me to regress socially, listening to George Bush Jr.

speak did something far far worse.

Source: BBC World News, April 14 2004

* Disclaimer: All quotes were taken from the official Whitehouse transcript. Having watched the speech, I can say with some certainty that George Bush occasionally "elaborated" on some points.

"It's not a civil war; it's not a popular uprising. Most of Iraq is relatively stable. Most Iraqis, by far, reject violence and oppose dictatorship. In forums where Iraqis have met to discuss their political future, and in all the proceedings of the Iraqi Governing Council, Iraqis have expressed clear commitments. They want strong protections for individual rights; they want their independence; and they want their freedom."

It would seem that a lot of them simply want "their freedom" from us. Out of curiosity, how many Iraqis need to pick up a gun and shoot at us before it qualifies as a "popular uprising" or "civil war"?

"In Fallujah, coalition forces have suspended offensive operations, allowing members of the Iraqi Governing Council and local leaders to work on the restoration of central authority in that city."

Source: New York Times, April 14 2004

Apparently no one informed the Bush administration that when you have control of a city and people start attacking you, then they are the ones engaging in offensive operations…..not you. Perhaps Bush was hopeful that the Iraqis would be so overwhelmed by our generosity that they would stop trying to retake the city.

"The people know where I stand. I mean, in terms of Iraq, I was very clear about what I believed. And, of course, I want to know why we haven't found a weapon yet. But I still know Saddam Hussein was a threat, and the world is better off without Saddam Hussein. I don't think anybody can — maybe people can argue that.
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I know the Iraqi people don't believe that, that they're better off with Saddam Hussein — would be better off with Saddam Hussein in power.
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I also know that there's an historic opportunity here to change the world. And it's very important for the loved ones of our troops to understand that the mission is an important, vital mission for the security of America and for the ability to change the world for the better."

This was in a response to a question asking whether or not it was fair for people to criticize Bush's adimistration for never admitting a mistake. He seems to contradict himself several times; nevermind the fact that he doesn't seem to even slightly address what was asked. Perhaps you can make some sense out of this answer. I can't.

"I don't plan on losing my job. I plan on telling the American people that I've got a plan to win the war on terror. And I believe they'll stay with me. They understand the stakes. Look, nobody likes to see dead people on their television screens — I don't. …. It is a — it is — it's a chance to hug and weep and to console and to remind the loved ones that the sacrifice of their loved one was done in the name of security for America and freedom for the world."

Let me see if I've got this: He has a plan? He plans on telling us his plan? Perhaps he plans on having a plan? This makes me feel very secure. I guess I should just rest assured that a plan for a plan, whose dissemination is planned is going to ensure "security for America and freedom for the world."

Whew.

I am glad I am not a liberal or terrorist, or I might have been a bit distressed by this speech.

For More Information:
Here is the official transcript, I suggest reading it. Reading and quoting this speech made me tired and disheartened, I could not possibly include everything that merited reading.
The official Whitehouse transcript
The BBC does a good job here of summarizing press reaction to the speech.
BBC World News- "Press Unimpressed"

Well, here's a reason why I can celebrate turning 25 in July – I'm that much closer to being out of the eligible range for a draft.

During the weekend, Ralph Nader held a press conference where he told youth that another draft was coming. "The Pentagon is quietly recruiting new members to fill local draft boards" – which I'm trying to find independent confirmation of, but even the hint of it is scary enough.

People hit the trenches on the radio this morning about the possibility of a draft; a major theme for everyone how the youth today "have it so easy" and "are too busy worrying about Christina Aguilera than worrying about issues in the world" (an actual quote).

As if all people ages 17-20 in 1966 were sitting around talking about containment theory instead of smoking and debating whether Clapton was a better guitarist than Hendrix; and if young people have it any easier today than 25 years ago I'd really like someone to explain it to me in concrete terms.

Speaking of people who should never see combat, aspiring Navy S.

E.A.L., ginandtacos.com founder, and biophysics grad student Erik Martin turns 25 this week! Email him a b-day wish, and see how his competitive mustache growth is going.

The Congressional Budget Office just announced that the March budget deficit – once again this is FOR ONE MONTH – was a record-setting $72.7 billion dollars. Let's write that out in long form.

$72,700,000,000.00. In 31 days. That's a bad deficit for A YEAR, let alone a month. Now, let's have some fun with math. During March, the deficit grew:

$2,322,580,645.00 per day
$96,774,193.00 per hour
$1,612,903.00 per minute
$26,881.00 per second

It's clear who is to blame in this situation: Bill Clinton.

And there's clearly only one solution: cutting taxes.