Tag: Media

What does John McCain's dick taste like?

I don't know, ask Chris Matthews (or Brian Williams, or any other anchor who makes the joke work for you).

As we get deeper into this election it is becoming increasingly obvious that we are wasting a whole lot of time, money, and energy. If the media's behavior for the past three months continues for the next six, then the election is going to be a foregone conclusion.

The status quo – every single word Obama says, every person he's ever met in his life, and every square inch of his past is put under a microscope and blasted with both barrels while McCain parades around in a halo – means that the outcome in November is predetermined.

As you try to restrain yourself from killing someone the next time you hear the phrase "Reverend Wright," just try to imagine what the media would be doing to the Democratic candidates if they had John McCain's 2008.

Imagine what they'd do to Obama if he said he didn't know dick about the economy. Imagine what Hannity would say about Clinton if she didn't know the difference between Sunni and Shia, Iran and Iraq. Imagine the temperature of the coals over which they'd be raked if they blathered on about fighting the influence of lobbyists while being one of the biggest hookers in Washington.

People essentially receive no information about the election that doesn't come from the media.

If they persist in the pattern of giving overwhelming skepticism and scrutiny to one party while responding to the other with slack-jawed credulity and stenography, I am more than dubious that average voters will take it upon themselves to ask skeptical questions and research the answers.

You're watching your favorite football team (if you loathe the sport, play along for a moment) on a nice, relaxing Sunday. Five minutes into the third quarter the score is 42-3. Like clockwork, one of the announcers inevitably says, "This game ain't over yet…(insert losing team here) is the kind of team that can make up these points in a hurry!" His fellow announcer gamely concurs, elaborating a scenario in which the losing team makes up the deficit.

What such insipid commentary really means is obvious: Please don't change the channel. We lose a lot of advertising money if you do.

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Most importantly, we think you're enough of a mouth-breathing idiot to fall for our bald effort to create drama where none exists.

The dynamic of the current Democratic presidential nomination contest has not changed in the three weeks since I began writing this post – it is, by all but the most implausible of scenarios, mathematically impossible for Hillary Clinton to win. I am stunned, although certainly not surprised, that this fact has been almost entirely absent from the media's coverage. Seems relevant to me.

It is tempting to chalk this up to some flavor of media bias, but the idea of the media going out of its way to give Hillary Clinton a booster seat is dubious to say the least. No, this seems more like good old fashioned commercial bias. The "drama" provides a cheap, consistent storyline that appeals to both the media's lust for ratings and their thundering journalistic laziness. There's nothing the sponsors hate more than a game that's over by halftime.

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